My little disability space [TW]

Oh my gosh I have the best news!!! 

So the Dr called today and was like are yall not interested in my test and my mom was like uh heck yes we are 

And basically they've been trying to call since November (like I said they would) and they even mailed a letter and things haven't gone through, my mom is on the phone with the fancy hospital now!!!! Fingers crossed :)))

@tinywhisper11 @darkerplacea

@AvyIsKing oh that is good. But really sucks you didn't get the messages earlier, but forget about that now. Let me know what's going to happen ok?

@Tinywhisper11

If they don't call my mum tmr with a date she's gonna call, I will let you know the second I know 

@AvyIsKing ok. Are you ok? What's your anxiety/nerves like?

@Tinywhisper11

honestly, I'm a bundle of nervous and excited. I don't like s fear of the unknown but the idea of being healed makes me happy. 

Ill feel better when the lady calls

@AvyIsKing 

hey i may not truly understand what/how you feel but just know i'll support you as a listener best i can and you got this! 

@NoahTheListener

thank you that really means alot ❤️❤️ ill shoot you a message here in a bit

@tinywhisper11 

okay-ish news i guess. I have a virtual appointment at the end of the month with the special hospital, before they can say yes to the test. They will most likely say yes, they just want to see me first. 

im honestly really freaking frustrated because this is taking too long and this was just supposed to be an easy problem i was supposed to be able to fix with a little physical therapy. they want inserts, fine ill use them. They want me to keep doing PT even though it does nothing, fine. Oh i need ankle braces, fine. The orthotic dr says they wont help and will just make me really self conscious so i get another pair of inserts, fine. Pain meds don't work, they ignore me when i say it hurts really freaking bad. i cant drive, i cant walk, i cant go skating with my boyfriend. 

they were SUPPOSED to call in November, which they said they 'did' but my mum never got it. now i wont have the freaking study til febuary and the dr says the surgery usually books out 3 weeks in advance. My birthday is the third week of march. so instead of healing while i was on break i might be recovering on my 16th *** birthday. 

sorry im just really really mad because no one gives a damn 

@AvyIsKing 😞 that isn't the greatest news. But I guess they do need to do it properly to know exactly how to help you. But your sweet 16th. It's ok maybe you'll get extra presents for being so brave. Hugs you tightly ❤ I know your annoyed, nothing ever goes the way we want it to. I'm sorry sweetie. But it'll be worth the wait, in the end. Gives you a big hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly

@Tinywhisper11

i really hope its worth it. I probably just need a good cry aha. hugggssssss. im trying to hard to stay positive during all of this, i really am. Its honestly just been a crushing experience. i don't even know what to do anymore. 

@AvyIsKing first thing you need to do, is cry ❤ it is a major crushing blow for anyone to deal with, but you being so young😞 it's heartbreaking. Your doing an incredible job at staying positive through all this. Your a very strong girl ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤ just cry it out. And vent as much as you need it might help

@Tinywhisper11

i haven't cried in years. besides happy tears those are different. i haven't cried sad tears since i found out my grandma was sick in 2020, i think i forgot how ): 

i cant wait to get out of class so i can text macon, he will know how to make sense of any of this 

@AvyIsKing awww I'm sorry sweetie😞 yeah! Trauma can stop the tears, hugs you tightly ❤ I'm glad  you have your boyfriend to talk to ❤❤ sending bear hugs your way🐻🐨

@tinywhisper11

had a rough day mentally, how was your day?

@AvyIsKing actually I have had a hard time the past few days mentally too. But trying to stay positive 😁❤ do you know why your bad mental health patch started?? Or is it just a collective thing of everything going on in your life lately? Did you talk to your boyfriend yesterday?

@Tinywhisper11

what's been going on lola 🥺 me is here for you. Im not sure what started it, it just started. ): and yeah I did (:

I'm finding I do absolutely insane things when I'm in pain. The human brain can only handle one kind of pain at once, it prioritizes the more intense one. 

I get really frustrated with my pain and I'm sick of hurting. Even when it's not bad i just don't want to hurt. TW last month I slammed my finger in the car door, just because I wanted to feel something not foot related. 

Last night I messaged my ex. The abusive one. I was feeling self destructive. It wasn't my usual power move one. I submitted and wanted him back. I just wanted to hurt myself I guess. 

Anyway we are in correspondence now (: I mean keep your friends close and your enemies closer 

@AvyIsKing 😥 pain is just so hard, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ please stay away from your ex😓don't go down that road again sweetie. Please look after yourself

@Tinywhisper11

hugggssss❤️

@AvyIsKing

i am sorry how do you feel

@yellowThinker7831

today has been a rough day, how are you

@AvyIsKingsorry i am replying now i just saw it,if u dont mind how did u know my day was rough

@yellowThinker7831

Most days are rough love, we gotta keep thriving 

@AvyIsKingthanks u are cool

@yellowThinker7831

So are you ❤❤also love the user, yellow os my favorite color 

@yellowThinker7831thats nice sorry but mine is ash i kinda think there is more to the colour i like brown too

Im going roller skating today

dont know if I'm actually going to skate

my ankle and foot hurts ahaha

Skating was a terrible idea 

It hurts so bad 

@AvyIsKing 😮😮😮 roller skating😨 ouchhhh! Hugs you better ❤❤ are you ok??? Did you at least have fun???

ouchieeeee!

@Tinywhisper11

hugs❤️❤️ had loads of fun!!

@AvyIsKing yaaay! I'm glad you had fun ❤❤❤ now spend the day of your feet if you can 🤗

@Tinywhisper11

I went home and rested and slept, today I'm dying my hair hehehe

@AvyIsKing cool what colour did you diy your hair???

The most terrible thing has happened 😱😱😱😱😱 yep! That's right I've lost my voice 😲😲😲 I am officially now a tiny whisper 😥😭 

have a good day ❤ loves you

@tinywhisper11 

bright red!! Also noooooo I hope you find your voice soon ❤️❤️

@AvyIsKing oooo! Bright red😍 I bet you look amazing. The doctor has come out and I'm on steroids and antibiotics, and yep no voice

@Tinywhisper11

i look a tad weird lol, not used to being so close to my natural :0 i have red hair, but since i turned 13 my hair has been : purple, faded purple (basically pink and white), black, blue, teal, and blonde aha

also nooooo *sending healing beams* feel better soon!!

@AvyIsKing well I bet you look amazing. I'm sure you will too, after a couple of days. ❤❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

Awwe thanks 

New symptom developed today. 

My ankle seized up and I had a real hard time picking up the front half of my foot and I finally and slowly worked my foot flat and was marching like a goofball aha. 

Pains like a 7 rn, its keeping me up. 

My friend has eds and pots, and we were talking today. She understands my pain and my sugar issues and it was really nice to have someone to just relate to me in person

@AvyIsKing oh no it's swollen😨 ouch! I'm glad you got to talk with your friend ❤ is that the friend who's mum had covid?? If so how are they both? You should call and mention this to the doctor in the morning. I hope you were brave and took your pain meds? Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I'm so sorry sweetie, I really hope the doctors will help you really soon ❤ I'm here if you need me ❤