Some Disabilities Are Invisible!
Some disabilities are invisible to the eye!
Please don't assume - that makes an ass of u and me!
Pain can't be seen but it can disable someone just as much as any other disability.
Imagine having tooth ache in your leg or having bee stings all over your back.
@MistyMagic great post and important message!
@MistyMagic 100% sometimes you cant see the physical effects, but the emotional and the mental effects are very real!
@MistyMagic I would guess there are more invisible ones than visible!
@AffyAvo
Yes I think so hence this thread, Like @PeacefulHug92 said about CFS chronic fatigue syndrome and ME and Fibromyalgia being 3 huge areas of invisible and chronic conditions.
@AffyAvo
Yes I think so hence this thread, Like @PeacefulHug92 said about CFS chronic fatigue syndrome and ME and Fibromyalgia being 3 huge areas of invisible and chronic conditions.
@AffyAvo yep. i have numerous invisible-to-most people conditions. Bone spurs aren't seen externally..unless they get so bad they protrude. Mental illness isn't normally a visible thing, except in some behaviors.. but things like pain, nerve damage, lupus, these aren't obvious to the outside world normally. I actually had a person who drives disabled people places as a job, came to pick me up and told me, "You don't LOOK disabled to me!" I felt discounted and invalidated. what do you say to that? he does it for a living and makes that comment. wow. should i have taken off my shoes and shown him the deformed parts in order to PROVE my disabilities to him? We really do need to educate people about disabilities not being entirely visible all the time. because ignorance hurts.
@inventiveHouse2965
I knew a gal online that had that happen once - she had lupus and a couple other conditions and didn't "look sick". Usually, when people said things like that, she used it as an opportunity to educate that individual about invisible illnesses, but it was a particularly bad day and she didn't have any patience for that type of attitude, so she replied with, "Well, you don't look stupid, but now we both know looks can be deceiving!"
I've added a few standard lines to my repertoire depending on how bad of a day I'm having, anywhere from the above to, "Wow, thanks! Everyone knows how to fake being sick, but faking being well takes real talent!" or the educational bit of, "Yes, that's because of the 40 million Americans who use a handicapped placard, I'm one of the 14 million that has an invisible illness. That's 35%, or one in three."
Personally, I'd seriously consider calling the service and telling them about that situation. Their driver needs to be more understanding that not all disabilities are visible!
@RebuildingCate You have a nicer version that is more creative in how to explain it to people.
I do understand deeply the thought of going to sarcasm as a way of coping with other people's lack of understanding. I can have quite a sharp tongue at times... I've been practicing smartassery for going on five decades, so I can be considered a semi-professional smartass. Judgmental people tend to trigger my smartass button. It can be a serious challenge to override once it is triggered. Talk about struggling! Thanks for giving me another way to think when it comes to responding to ignorant comments..
@inventiveHouse2965 Yeah, I don't get that when it's their job. I experienced that with a homecare nursing company. I had issues with the billing (they never actually sent it to me!) and they seemed very confused that the person they were speaking to, the person who should recieve the bill and the person who needed the care were all one in the same. I kept getting what's the patient's name? That's me. Yes, the bill goes in your name, but who was recieving care? I was. Who. is. the. patient.? I am, I have a rare blood disorder and needed help with my IVs. Oh! *facepalm*
@MistyMagic very true! And funnily enough, all my symptoms are invisible. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, which stops me from leading a normal life, so it can be hard for others sometimes to imagine me having a disability 
@peacefulHug92 true... and one of the things a lot of them don't understand, is that on the days they see us, are many times NOT our worst days... on our worst days, we may not even be able to get out of bed, or a chair, or be able to walk further than a few steps. There have been days that i couldn't walk on my feet and had to crawl through the house on my hands and knees... Can't even make it out the house. They don't see those days...
@MistyMagic
This is so true
Thank you for that awesome reminder of how we should act around those with visable and invisible disabilities.
@peacefulHug92 @mellsue @AAAAngela
Yes it is amazing how many and how people need a reminder. I have a friend who sadly has only one lung that is badly fire damaged and often needs to sit down but nobody ever gives up a seat for him, and sometimes expect him to get up for a healthy woman (which he does) but that is just one invisible disability.
@MistyMagic that is so sad. Then again though we never see other peoples invisible disabilities so the people who are sitting down not giving up their seats may have something wring too.
@AAAAngela good point.. even we with disabilities can sometimes not see all the facts... I guess it can be hard to see past our own disabilities.
@inventiveHouse2965
yes. But part of growing up and becoming more independent is seeing past our own problems and disabilitys to see anothers.
@AAAAngela 'growing up' is not the way you fix a disability. Some disabilities prevent the 'grown-up' behaviors from fully manifesting in people. The two are separate issues. There are many forms of disabilities... some stop the brain from functioning fully. In cases like that, 'growing up' may not be an option. Some disabilities are from permanent brain damage, some from things like PTSD, which can shut down thought processes for indefinite periods of time. in cases like this, looking beyond themselves may also not be an option. It is an automatic response from the brain, and out of their control.
@MistyMagic it's sad how alot of people dont understand 
I think we are so lucky that we all have 7cups, where everyone is accepting and non judging. It's lovely that even if no one in our outside lives understands what we're are going through, you can always log onto 7cups and be around pals who will accept you no matter what *sends virtual hugs and warmth your way* 🌻
this is so important to remember!
@caringShoulder14
thanks for posting, the more that read and reply to this thread the more the word spreads :)
@MistyMagic i totally agree!
Fantastic post.
It's very true. Sadly, people are far too judgemental to realise this and choose to be negative and berate rather than love and support.
@Rynn
Yes it is being instantly judgemental isnt it.
I wonder if we all realise how many instant judgments we have already made before we even open our mouths!?
Our views are clouded by these and seen through a veil of instant judgments, that are almost sub-conscious for instance 1) Is it safe? 2) Am I about to be preyed on and eaten 3) Is there quicksand or dangerous ground 4) Are there any birds about to fly down and grab me, A bit extreme but we are the accumulation of our genes innate knowledge.
Then add on the modern instant judgments about things like 1) gender 2) colour 3) age 4) size Disability is low down the list UNLESS it is obvious.
Because my disability is invisible (now, it wasn't always) even I tend to write it off. My parents take it a lot more seriously than I do. I also feel like a failure as a disabled person because of the comparisons people would make. Like up here in Canada, very early on (at least in my generation) we're taught about Terry Fox, who had one leg and still managed to run across Canada, so how much of a loser am I in comparison? People so much worse off than me can accomplish so much more, it just makes me feel like even more of a crippled freak and hopeless failure. I know what they mean is "look at what this disabled person accomplished, you can do the same" but what I hear is "he had ONE leg, what the hell excuse do YOU have, you pathetic failure?" I don't think of other disabled people this way, only myself. I'm extremely empathetic to others' disabilities. It's just my own that doesn't count.
@tluper6491
That's actually something that you also see in people who have gone through any number of other traumas - don't discount what you've been through or are going through just because someone else is worse off!
I was part of an honor society for disabled students at my college and we had someone talk about perceptions of people with disabilities by the general public. It was summed up as a perception of being inspirational (the guy you mentioned), being ignored (that gaze that intentionally goes around you rather than actually LOOKING at you), or being judged (the idea that if you're disabled, you must have done something to deserve it) as the major "boxes" or "labels" that people with disabilities are treated with. I've seen all of these at various points, and have dealt with them with different levels of grace and charm, depending on just how bad my day is going.
What you're going through is real and deserves to be recognized and validated, at least by yourself if not by others. Own your disability and what you're able to do or not do because of it. Don't allow other people to cut you down just because you're not running marathons - most of the people who make that comparison aren't running them either.
@tluper6491 you are not alone in the thoughts of being less than others who overcame... but if you look at the people-many of whom become famous, have stories written about them... they usually have an incredible support system... family, friends, coworkers, community people... some of us don't have that. Some of us have two or three people in our life who support us regularly, but even those supports may be strained in their own lives because of their circumstances... some of them may even be disabled themselves... Support comes in many ways and when a person gets that great support in their life, that's great. But not all of us have that. Some of our disabilities would not allow for us to even end up the subject of a public story. We may want to be a runner like that person, but we can't be in the public eye due to mental health issues that cause panic attacks if we are the center of attention. No one would ever make that story,
But then there are things that people with disabilties are never credited with. We as disabled people tend to be more understanding of another who shares their disability stories. There are people without disabilities that would never sit and listen to disabled people "whine"... The disabled person understands because we've been through so much struggle, that we can identify and sympathize with them. This, then, makes the disabled person who will listen to another's troubles.... a HERO in my book.
Many disabled people lose much of their support system over time because some people have no compassion for the disability. They consider it whining because sometimes we express the same issues over time and they just want us to get better and be more like them. But the disabling condition, many times, doesn't go away... it's dis-abling... hence the term disability.
I've gotten more understanding & long-term genuine emotional support from disabled people than from non-disabled.....Disabled can still be heros, and here, on 7Cups, there are an awful lot of HEROs!
"We may want to be a runner like that person, but we can't be in the public eye due to mental health issues that cause panic attacks if we are the center of attention. No one would ever make that story,"
I'm sure I'm not the only one here who is loving the new series, "The Good Doctor" - serious awesomeness in dealing with a complex issue!
@RebuildingCate i haven't actually watched that show yet. maybe it's time to check it out.