Introducing myself
Hi everyone. I’m here to introduce myself. I am Beautiful and Broken. I am not comfortable using my real name, so this is my user name on here.
I’ve been through a lot of things in the last 4, almost 5 years and it has put me into a funk. I’m honestly not even sure how I am handling all of what has been thrown at me. From my own observations, it’s more than a person normally goes through in a longer period of time. I feel so lost and down. I don’t feel like doing much of anything any more.
I came here so I can let out how I’m feeling. I’ve been on and off this app for the past 4 to 5 years while going through all of this. I actually left it for a long, long time because a listener made me feel even more down in the dumps than I already did and I couldn’t take it. I’m back and hoping this time will be different and that there are actually some compassionate people on here. Thank you for reading.
B & B
@BeautifulAndBroken2022 Hey there :) I hear that you're on and off from being in here. Welcome back!
I'm really sorry to hear that the listener make you feel that way. You don't deserve any of it and I'm here for you. How are you doing at the moment?
@kdsyahirah, thank you.
I am not really doing the best. I have so much going on. Things were good for awhile, then started to go sour again.
@BeautifulAndBroken2022 I hear you. Life does be like that from time to time, it has its own ups and downs. What happened with your life recently? I would love to hear either the sweet ones or the sour ones or maybe even both, if you don't mind sharing with me of course. You can share with us anything that you feel comfortable with. No pressure here.
*sending lots of loves to your way* :)
@kdsyahirah
Thank you so much. Life has thrown a lot at me in the past 4, almost 5 years. I have dealt with more than anyone could possibly handle. I don’t mind sharing as this is the only place I can get it off my shoulders. It is a long one, and I am sorry for that.
Back a few years ago, my hubby’s sister (half) came into his life after being gone for many years. Most people don’t believe me when I state this, but I had a bad feeling about her from the beginning. I got that vibe and it gave me that gut feeling that something was wrong with her. Well come to find out, I was right. She actually tried to get my husband to divorce me because she wanted him for herself (not even lying). She was vindictive and literally didn’t even know me because she only met me once for like 10 minutes. Needless to say my husband found out what her “plans” were, and we were done with her being in our lives and have not talked to her ever since. She put so much strain on our marriage and so much stress on the both of us. It was immediately lifted when we stopped having her in our life.
While she was still around, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. One that I had been waiting to get pregnant with for 12 years. It finally happened. But I was under so much stress because she was doing things and trying to get my husband away from me. I went to my doctors appointment in January (2018), and I found out that my baby stopped growing and I ended up having a miscarriage. I was devastated. It took my husband and I a little time to try to get things back to normal, or so I thought. So shortly after finding out about my miscarriage, my husband and I were talking and I found out he had been unfaithful to me 2 times while being married. This was a huge blow to me. I had expected it because I felt something happened, but that was the ultimate hit to me when he didn’t deny it and he said it happened. With 2 of his ex girlfriends. So he cheated a total of 3 times in me (once before we got married and it was with another ex gf of his). That just killed me inside. My heart was shattered on top of being broken with having a miscarriage. I haven’t been myself since finding this out. I never in my life thought he would do this again to me.
I was hoping for a better year to come, but that didn’t happen. We lost 3 members of our family to death. All within 2 months of each other. Then my daughter’s friend took her own life. So my daughter lost her friend and dealt with a break up in the same year. So on top of what I was dealing with, I had to endure my daughter being in a lot of pain as well.
Then my dad passed away unexpectedly. I didn’t get to say goodbye. That has hit me harder than anything. I miss him so much. And to make this shorter, we have lost about 20 people to death in the 4 years. Friends and family.
My husband and I - our marriage had gotten better over the years. It took a lot of work, but it was good. But I’ve been dealing with the emotions of him cheating on me still. The thoughts get in my head and I become sad and it makes me cry. Then I get depressed.
And just recently, he started becoming mean towards me here and there. And I’m not sure where it is coming from. And in these 4, almost 5 years, we lost 2 pets to cancer. So as you can see, it’s much more than anyone would ever deal with in such a short period of time 😢