I'm just not sure if I have friends or not.

Even this question disturbs me every now and then

@LittleMeBrains

@LittleMeBrains I totally get exactly what you're saying. I used to have "best friends"and I'm not even sure what changed when but I've just stopped associating anybody to the word. I've never seen other people who have thought about their friendships so deeply, but I do. And I'm scared that as soon as I call someone my 'best friend'they'll most definitely leave, like they always have. I've always thought friendships were complicated and none of my other friends seem to think so. I'm probably off on a completely different tangent right now but idk I just never 'figured out' friendship I guess. If I tell my friends about my problems they just tell me their problems that are bigger than mine and then there are thosr friends whom I consider very close but they don't? And probably dont trust me? That's just a whole another topic.

Always remember, friends are only people and all are different,,there is no ideal,,rely on yourself.

First of all thank you for your reply - it feels good knowing that someone has similar thoughts like myself.

And I get what you mean, sometimes I think that I view friendship 'differently' I guess? Like you, I sometimes feel like others don't think too much about the topic of friendship in general and are happy with the friendship they have? I mean they probably have their own problems in friendship and so on, idk.

But thank you for taking time to read and reply! :)

@LittleMeBrains
Thanks for sharing your feelings. It's certainly disappointing to go to a friend and try to be vulnerable and honest with them about yourself only for them to push you away. Friends should be supportive but that's not always the case. Maybe your friend is also dealing with problems that they haven't shared with you and are unable to offer their support? Or maybe they just didn't know how to react? I don't think it's anything unreasonable to expect a friend to just listen.

I understand the feeling of being a burden on someone else, how it can make you not want to talk to anyone about your problems or ask for help when you're struggling to get by on your own. You don't have to doubt your feelings about how your friend reacted because you didn't do anything wrong. I don't think it's ever wrong to ask for help when you're hurting.

So to answer your question, real friends are for those times when life is more than you can handle and you just need someone to reach out and pull you through it. Anything less than that measure is just a bystander. It's lonely going through life feeling like you don't have any real friends. But it only takes one real friend to make life not so lonely anymore. I hope you find someone who finds a real friend in you. Take care!