Always Jaded.
For the past few months I've struggled to care about anybody or anything. I don't really have any passion or motivation for things I like, I can't make friends and I feel all alone. I randomly have thoughts about how if I were to end it, how I'd do it, what I'd write. I have SH urges too, because I really don't care.
When I'm driving and having I always play a specific playlist
that I basically call the "If I Die" playlist, all of which are happy little songs because I feel like hey, if I'm gone, thats fine. I've lived enough.
Idk if this whole "Jaded" Not-giving-a-crap thing qualifies as depression, do any of you know? Regardless, it sucks because I'm always lonely, Any friends I did have are distant or dislike me now because I just don't care about things. I want friends, but I can't connect. Aquaintances, sure, but nobody I form a legitimate attatchment to.
Idk what counts as depression, so I figured I'd ask here to see.