Ever felt like you shouldn

@violetshadow

Besides hitting the reset button,
start eating right,
sleeping right,
breathing right,
getting physical activity and bright light throughout the day,
starting dumping fixed mindsets...
and replacing them with growth mindsets,
start mini habits that are so tiny they lead to success and happiness...

I also got myself out of the Dreaded Drama Triangle
and into the better alternative triangle (empowerment)

Drama
Triangle

This guy explains how to get unstuck from the drama triangle really well
https://youtu.be/uAFZa2Iyp3o
FYI - NO DRAGONS WERE HARMED IN THE VIDEO!

@violetshadow

For me, it's a bit like survivor's guilt. To counter it, I try to use the adage "cultivate an attitude of gratitude." it sounds simplistic, but it does shift the mood. Even simple chores like washing the dishes, I notice I have hot, clean running water. Many people don't have that luxury, so I feel thankful that I do. Then I try to identify other things to be grateful for, or at least pleased about, like I got home safely from running errands in a busy, traffic-choked city. Gradually, I feel the despair lift a bit, and sometimes even blow away completely. Sure, it returns, but then I start again. it's an ongoing battle.

@violetshadow
Not exactly like that but yeah I think we are empaths. We are in pain and yet can see that others are in more pain than us. We feel pathetic about ourselves and begin to demean our emotions as if they do not count in this ruthless world of pain. Meanwhile our pain still lingers at the back and we feel if we could do just something to reduce the pain of others.. just one thing that can make a person or more persons happy and kill their sadness. And then hits the reality that we are somewhat vulnerable to end anybody's pain unless we fill ourselves with love.

The cycle of hate and shame stays with us and makes us feel like as if we are doing wrong to ourselves and to people around us by being like that but that is the way we feel.

I really do not know how to cope with this and what will be the right thing to do. But one thing I can say that you are not alone in this. I can relate to you. Not following news and constantly pushing focus to see the good thats happening around but ultimately the focus doesnot last and again I am back to the same thing that people are suffering more than me and why cannot I just feel good about myself.

I wish this things resolve in us because it definitaley fills us with self hatred.

@violetshadow yes I felt that quite often that I complain too much. And my problem are very trivial, I have more blessings than problems there are lot of people who are suffering more than me in so many spheres of life.

I have started being more grateful for whatever I have and after all its life, something will always be missing no one get anything perfect. So I try to be happy

All the time, as a matter of fact. These are the very words my own family utters, almost verbatim, to me whenever I slipped out of my "normal happy person" guise and became the disturbed mess I normally am at some random trigger.

"There are plenty more people having it worse than you, you should be grateful that you're in your current place."

Should I be grateful for having dysthymia which still more or less allows me to function somewhat instead of full-blown crippling major depression? It... does make sense... I'll admit... and then I feel worse because it does make sense.

I honestly barely even feel like my own depression even counts or matters. I lie about my mood all the time and always try to protect the emotions of people I talk to instead of trying to help myself. I've made a very close friend here who I feel like I can talk to about anything, but because they have their own problems they're going through and I want to help a lot of the time I'm afraid to even tell them how I'm feeling because I don't want to worry them or make things worse. I'd rather I be the one in pain than anybody else. The world's also so messed up and I'm such a lost cause it's completely pointless to talk about how I'm feeling anyway. I don't matter and nobody needs to hear about it. Except random strangers on a forum because if I don't vent sometimes I'm going to snap and people here can just ignore me if they want to. Anybody who actually does care about me I feel like a burden to and because I care about them I don't want to hurt them or make them worry about me. So I just don't talk about how I'm doing. Or lie about it and say I'm fine and everything's okay. I constantly think about what the most painless and effective method to end it with the least chance of failure would be (don't pretend to worry, I'm not going to do it because I'm a coward). This dominates my thoughts on really bad days. 2020 being an endless nightmare of bad news has also really destroyed my will to even fight for the world. It's only going to get worse. My own mental health is only going to get worse. There's no other end to this.

I had to edit this post down severely to actually post it. It's really not helpful having posts just shut down completely. If anything it makes me feel more isolated and hopeless because I can't even honestly vent here.

@tluper6491

I feel exactly the same.

I tried to introduce myself and my complete honesty flagged me for self harm an d that was far from the truth if you were actually reading what I was writing.

Yes i feel like this all the time, i tried to downplay how i feel when i start to think about what others go through i make it seem like it's nothing wrong with me and it's bigger issues out there that's way worse than mine.