Thoughts

Hey, thanks for sharing. I know how it feels to believe that opening up will push people away, and it's not a fun feeling. However, people that really are supportive and care about you won't turn on you; they will try to understand you more in an effort to support you better. Opening up, although a difficult process, may end up helping you find the support you're looking for.

Fighting against irrational thoughts can be tough, especially if they are intrusive, but so long as you know and understand that there are people that care about you, you'll be closer to fending them off. Hang in there; you got this!

Sometimes you have to ignore the voices that you know are wrong and just try to connect and tell someone. Often, it really does help. But it does take bravery to do.

Do you want to plan out who you want to talk to here first?@jaxxym245

@bestVase7265

yeah i dont know...

I am really not suggesting anything big. It really is a bunch of baby steps. The first thing is to just list 1-2 people that you would consider sharing with.

We don't know each other at all so there really aren't any risks in sharing an idea of a person with me. @jaxxym245

@bestVase7265

... I share most things with my girlfriend

So how much have you shared with her already? I know with my own husband that my brain kept telling me that even if I was sharing little bits that it was always too much and that I was burdening him somehow. Depression brains are really good at lying to you that way. @jaxxym245

@bestVase7265

she knows pretty much everything 

You said that you feared everyone would turn on you. Do you feel that way about her too? Or is it other people that you are too scared to share with?@jaxxym245

@bestVase7265

It's with her too

I know that it is pretty scary if you fear that she will turn on you to share as regularly as your brain really needs you to. 

What would it feel like to write some of it out in a letter format to share with her or with someone else?

Remind yourself that people who love you usually want to help you. Why? It is not only because they are kind. When you help someone else who is down by listening to them you usually feel better about yourself. So you might be helping her too. 

@bestVase7265

i dont know

I am so sorry that I missed a few days. My own life got away from me. I can understand being unsure. What if you wrote out the letter here to practice it? You wouldn't have to send it or anything. You would just get your thoughts out of your head better. @jaxxym245