What have you done today to stay true to your values?
I know that when we are depressed, things that used to be important don't feel important anymore. But if we can use our times of more clarity to sort out for ourselves what is important to us, we can continue a life of meaning even during times when we are struggling. So, do you know what is important to you? And what could you manage to do today to stay true to those values? Remember, even the smallest thing counts if it important to you.
You can read more about values and how to find out what your values are here.
I'm going through a bit of a difficult time. So I'm trying to do small things that are important to me and that I can do while staying in bed. I've found that I can continue my writing, even if it's only one small paragraph a day. Also, I can support others in small ways online. So yes, it's small things, but it's small important and meaningful things, which makes this difficult time meaningful instead of just wasted.
@Chiaroscuro1. Sounds like things are hard for you right now. And, you are doing a good job of staying engaged and true to yourself. You might think reaching out to others on line is a small thing, but in fact, it can make a world of difference to that person.
I spent time with my family.
@Chiaroscuro1 even though my father gets a bit lost sometimes with his medication.- A bit irratible I try to not be bitter towards him and today Ive had many small conversations with him. Even though I refuse to say more than a couple of words to him usually.
Tagging a few people. No pressure. But if it feels right to you, please feel free to share about what you do about things that are important to you. What is important and what do you do to make sure you get to it?
@scenicwindow @Jenna @Lavendersubmarine @LittleLotte @River @MieraCurie @Erato @LittlebluP @DanaMH @SoulfullyAButterfly @conscientiousPineapple1782 @neverendingTime23 @Rebekahwriter13 @MissPen @soulsings
Good question --
For me - making sure I get to things that are important to me is a matter of scheduling and reminding myself that I deserve to do the things that i feel are important. I work a full time job, and volunteer with an educational group in my area. My husband is also VERY active, so scheduling is critical to us. Including scheduling time to relax and rejuvinate.
@Chiaroscuro1
Thanks for the tag, @Chiaroscuro1! I make it a point to meditate daily and well as do a fair bit of reading and updating on news and current events. I need to feel in-the-loop to have a fair sense of balance and for my peace of mind. I make time for them mindfully and as a part of my daily routine.
@scenicwindow - Thank you for your thoughtful answer. I agree that balance is important in most (possibly all) areas of our lives. While reading I wondered why keeping up with current affairs and news was specifically important to you, but then you spoke about balance, and I can understand that with all the inner living we can sometimes do, it can be balanced by also connecting to the outside world. Is that what you meant? Thank you very much for sharing.
@Chiaroscuro1 the first thing I need to find out is what are my values and what are other people's expectations of me. It is not easy telling those apart. But what we really believe deep in our heart may be different than what we think we should do.
So one way to stick to my values is not make snap decisions. It is almost like having a meeting with our own mind and emotions and seeing what works for all my inner selves if you can guess what I mean. There is not jus me there is what aunt mary told me to do and my parents and my teachers. And somewhere under that mess of opinions is what I really hold dear.
Also consider the implications of your decision to other people. One way to look at it is to try to do no harm to anyone directly by your decision.
Get in the habit of reminding ourselves of what are values are and how they apply to this situation.
@soulsings - Very meaningful. And yes, I get what you are saying. We have different parts of ourselves and then we also have those internalized voices! The thing about values is that it's definitely not about what other people think should be important to you. And like you said - not necessarily what you think should be important, but is really important to your heart. It has to make sense to your heart. So, definitely sensible to make time to tell those things apart.
Listening to music is very important to me, so even if I'm too ill to dance, I can still dance along in my head or simply enjoy the music.
@LittleLotte - Great idea! I've heard about research that shows vizualization and imagination is important, because our bodies can't tell the difference between what is actually happening and what is just going on in the brain. They took a group of people and gave them finger exercises to do. The next group only did the exercises with their mind and the 3rd group didn't do anything. After a few weeks, the first group showed a lot of improvement in finger strength and the last group not any. But the middle group also showed a lot of improvement in finger strenght. Something like 50%! So yes, definitely do it in your mind if you feel up to that! Thank you for sharing something that is important to you. It definitely qualifies as a value, because it's important to you and it's something you have control over and can do.
@Chiaroscuro1 Music is so important in my life. I'm on a limited budget but I will always find a way to purchase music. gig tickets, music accessories etc. that I need because it keeps me going.
@Chiaroscuro1 thank you for tagging me!
I always try to reassess myself and do some self-reflection to remember my purpose as a person. Am I making a difference? What kind of impact I'm giving? Did I make someone happy today? How did this it make me feel?
It's very important for me to keep in mind that my reaction to every situation is a reflection of my attitude and personality. There will be people who you don't meet everyday and it'd be nice if you could leave a good impression to them or be the cause of their positive change. We never know what they're going through and maybe showing a little compassion could already brighten up their mood or their day. Kindness is what the world needs today. Life is already cruel enough to deal with.
Inner peace is the new success.
@Erato - Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like showing compassion and kindness and helping people is important to you. Do you have specific ways in which you like to do that?
@Chiaroscuro1 Yes! Showing courtesy by saying "Thank you!" and "Please.", I believe, is already making a difference. I practice saying "Thank you!" to every person who has done things for me regardless if it's huge or small so that I can express my gratitude and show them some appreciation. I also say, "Please" whenever I'm requesting something or asking to do me a favor - I think it's very important to be polite since we're demanding something from them.
Being involved in psychological things and helping people (in specific ways) are important to me. One way in which I did that today was coming on here to 7 Cups and interact and start converstations about things I hope will matter to someone.
@Chiaroscuro1 thanks for being an active member of the community. It certainlyi does make a big difference to the people you reply to.
@soulsings - Thank you. That is very kind of you to say.
@Chiaroscuro1 you are welcome.
@Chiaroscuro1
My depression has really clouded what is important to me. . .
However what I want. . . a better place, my health under check (with doctors and therapist that I actually listen to me), a kitchen, a bathtub, my own space and a cat.
I want to have places to walk to, and feel excited to get up in the morning.
@Rebekahwriter13 - Thank you for sharing this with us. Depression can definitely cloud what is important to us and make it harder to see things that seem so clear when we are doing well. But what I hear you say is that it is important to you to create a better life for yourself. What is one simple thing you can do to move in that direction?
Oh, and cats are definitely important. Of course. No question. 
A past late payment issue came up between my dh and I. He was upset bc I paid our solar bill late for February. I was falling into the same excuse pattern and we hung up on each other to which I breathed caught myself falling into my old cycle again and called him back much later when we're were both calmer. I explained that I did pay late but it was paid I apologized and let him know the steps I implemented to keep it from happening again. I told him I understood he was upset with me bc I agreed to be in charge of the bills. He was silent and I told him I am not making excuses. I slipped and I accept that. He was quiet like he didn't expect that (hell I didn't expect that either ) but I'm trying to change. And I am showing him I can change.
@LPyMP - First of all, that was very well done. I'm really proud of you. It must've been difficult, but you did it. What I hear from this is that it is important to you to grow as a person and maybe also more specifically that you want to behave as a person with integrity in this relationship. Would you say that is accurate?
@Chiaroscuro1
very actually. Kinda scary accurate 😂. But yes. His mom always kept secrets from his dad and unfortunately so did my mom from mine. I grew up in an abusive home so I would lie to hide the true reason of bruises and what not. Lying became a defense mechanism for me. And I was too ashamed to ask for help in the past. So I gave him my solemn word no more secrets no more hiding ANYTHING from him even if he didn't like the truth he was hearing it. I guess he didn't really think I'd do it. But yep. I'm done bsing him. I REFUSE to be like our respective mothers. I ADAMANTLY REFUSE to follow that cycle. Only problem is. He doesn't know how to handle my sudden honesty and Idk how to help him with my change
