Today is just a bad day
I feel so bad today, amd Ive been feeling so much worse than I have in a little while. Its getting so hard to get out of bed that I show up hours late to work. Every morning I just lay there with my breath held and wait for a phone call with the next bad news to be given. This morning I found one of my pets dead and I have no idea what happened. I've only had him for about 5 days but I finally had something that I could come home to at the end of the day that loved to snuggle with me and wanted attention and could just take my mind off of everything going on. I normally hate to show off any kind of emotion in front of anyone, but today I told my husband that I cried when he asked me about it and I couldn't hide the sad face from him. I never want to show anyone that side of myself and hate that its there. I just don't want to have anything to do with anything important to me anymore, I just want to exist alone and go through the motions.
@TheRealAlice96
Hey Alice, so so very sorry you're going through this. Sounds like a very rough time and all sorts of heavy loads weighing you down heavily. I'm also very sorry about you losing your pet - it sounds like you and he/she were close and I can't imagine how it must've felt learning that he/she passed. I don't want to preach, but I do feel like saying that the part of you that is sad and scaref and in pain is totally valid, and that even if you don't like sharing it with others I hope you're not ashamed of it because it's part of who we are! You're going through a lot and I'm sorry for that an awful lot. Stay strong in this hard period, even though it may take a lot out of you. Depend on friends/family/SO if you can, and even if you can't there's always this forum to write here if you need it. I think it shows tremendous strenght that you're still showing up for work even if you have it so hard. I hole things will improve for you soon! Hope this helps a bit with what you are going through.
Would you consider talking to your husband about sad news more often? Maybe he may support you. Or maybe just saying your thoughts out loud helps to clear your mind. It's normal that you feel that way, I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I like not telling him stuff because he is like this ignorant spot of joy in my life that isnt always asking about everything going on. He went through a very similar situation that im in when he was younger and so he understands how I feel as a whole. I've just never been the type of person to lean on others I just don't trust people like that
