Something funny I've noticed
So, while I keep doing my best to take care of myself and learn about my depression, I've been able to articulate more of why I cannot tell other people. It may sound dumb and weird, but bear with me:
In our society, there is an unfortunate stigma against mental illnesses, which is prepostorous because the brain is an organ too and like other organs, it can get sick. I had to teach myself this, but now that I know it, it seems like common sense. To others, I guess it isn't. *shrug* While I have a loving family, I know if I were to tell them, one of two things will happen; one, they will have negative reactions to it and not support me, two, they will overwhelm me with what they believe is "best" for me, whether I want it or not. I do not want either, as I do not wish to be abandoned, seen as someone I'm not, and I do not want them to throw me into a corner for me to fight my way out of. Either way, the end result would be a disaster I wish to avoid. Also, my depression is something I need to learn about at my own pace. I need to take things slower when it comes to taking care of my depression. When I found out that was wrong with me, I was frightened. I lived in fear from everyone I knew from peers, friends, and family. I disapeared for a while, which of course had and even still has negative effects to this day. However, after about 2.5 years of it, I've come a long way and learned a lot. I'm proud of that.
However, I've figured out something about vulnurability and opening up. However, sadly, it isn't with other humans. I still have hope for that, but as of right now, I just can't really. Animals however, like my cats and my dog, is another story. See, animals are always honest. Any love and kindness given to them is given back in return. In my experience, animals, cats for the most part, but also dogs, have always been there for me. They've accepted me as I have accepted them. Without them, I'm not sure how I'd be able to be vulnerable at all.
I told ya, weird, but true. I got two kitties on my couch with me and a dog on the floor not too far away. Nothing like the purrs of a kitty to make the depression go away. :D
@AutumnEagle Not weird at all! Animals are used for comfort a lot as they are always kind, love and never judge! I hope one day you'll be able to open up to your family/friends as a mixture is always nice but one step at a time. Two kitties and a dog, busy busy! Best of luck with your journey and battle with depression 
.
