The societal pressure to be (or at least seem) happy all the time.

There is pressure to be happy regardless of how you actually feel. This is from so many sources which claim that "happiness is a choice" when in fact, it's an emotion. We're told if you're not happy, then there's a problem and you have to fix it. But there's nothing to be fixed when we're unhappy, it's perfectly fine.

But still...

1. Advertisements blast us with images of happy people to sell us the hope that we, too, can be happy all the time - if only we buy something they're selling. That is not happiness, it's consumerism.

2. There are books being sold that tell us the secret to "forever happiness" is to want it really, really badly and follow some simple rules that guarentee perpetual happiness - then, if you're not feeling happy that's your fault. That's not happiness, it's blame and shame.

3. Gurus of gratitude and compassion tell us we can be happy every day of our lives - we just need to remember to force-feed ourselves "glurge" and document each and every day something we're grateful for. That is not happiness, it's trying to be "fulfilled" by basically eating sugar every day.

4. On social media, "friends" and followers want their feeds free of "negativity". Some people only want to see posts that affirm a belief that happiness can be attained and held on to forvever. If you post something real but unhappy, they hold you responsible for negativity in their own life. That is not happiness, it's scapegoating.

There is no human being who ever walked on earth that was happy all the time, we have all kinds of emotions and they come and they go. Sadness is an emotion, it's part of the human experience and it is valid.

Hiding from sadness is not a way to always be happy, it is avoidance.

If we constantly avoid or ignore our negative emotions they will find us: in bed late at night, in the mirror, in difficult and stressful situations, in times of uncertainty and wherever and whenever there is a crack in our armor. When these emotions finally escape confinement, it'll likely be at an inappropriate time and very possilbly an explosive overeaction. Why would we choose this?

The people who suffer the most from the "cult of happiness" are people with mental illness but all of us suffer when we're told it's our fault that we're not happy. Sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, grief - these are human emotions, give them space to be expressed and only then move on from them.

I feel pressured in having to do something productive every day. Whether it is completing chores or working on a project for school.

The biggest pressure is definadefi from my family. I've always been the good student and the good daughter they dreamt of. I believe I am the only reason in the world they can be proud of something and that puts so much pressure on me, to live up to their expectations and not let them down. They are unhappy people I think and I can't bear the guilt of adding to their unhappiness and dissapointmend. So I try my best to succeed in everything. College, social life, even health.

I believe that at some point all this pressure has helped me become a stronger person and it has indeed helped me succeed in school and college. But if it weren't for them I wouldn't have anxiety and depression. I wouldn't feel life I suffocate every time they give an advice. Because I know their advice is an order I have to follow like a good little soldier. So no. Social pressure of any kind is not good. I'd prefer to be happier than strong .

That's all by me.

@ErikB This is such an inspirational post, thank you so much for posting!

After becomming mentally ill at 24 and having to quit my job the next year in order to concentrate on treatment for myself and getting better, I was judged severely by my dad's family that Christmas and practically shunned thereafter by my grandfather because I didn't have a job. What the heck? Aren't they supposed to love me for me, job or no job? My dad is still perpetuating this judgement on me even today. It's terrible.

There are so many other societal pressures - you have to have a career for yourself, you have to get married and have a family and a house and be wealthy. You have to be perfect. That's how I feel about society and all the people I went to school with who are now fabulously wealthy and well-off. Not me. I can't even follow most of them on social media beacuse I end up feeling bad about myself. So that's a little easier to control, but my self esteem is already so low, I don't know how to bring it back up.

Some pressure is healthy, in order to challenge ourselves if we are mentally ill, but only to an extent. If we can't work a full-time job, it's not helpful for family to urge me to work a full-time job. It's better, when I was a lot better and felt I wanted to work, to start with a small job, for example. I think the key is to start small because personally, I can get overwhemled very easily.

Yes these pressures, the riduculue from my dad for example for not having a job currently, for example, has led me into depressive states of crying and being down for hours at a time.

I am afraid to stand out and be open with my mental illness for fear of being judged or mistreated. :(

Need more independent people in every society

Social media

The big problem is that almost everything seems perfect. The holidays the relationships everything, because we only post those things. Don't let it fool you. Just like you only post good things they do too. The girl you think is do beautiful and skinny could be struggling with a eating disorder. The guy with al the friends could be suicidal. Social media is like a mask. It's not who we really are. It's how we want the world to see us. Don't let it pressure you into thinking that it means everything because it doesn't. Photos don't capture more then 1 second of a moment. Stray true to who you are, it doesn't mean stay away from social media, it just means don't let it rule over you.

This is a really good thread.

I think its important to read all these beautiful peoples comments and thoughts. Society pressures is a science of it's own.

Whether we like it or not society tricks us and moulds us into what we think we should be.

I've been stressed a lot lately that I'm not the best version of myself. I answer phones and clean floors at night to pay the bills for my family. I cleaned around the doctors setting up a dinner meeting last night, they walked on my floors and it was embarrassing to be there. I used to be the high flyer going to dinner meetings and I had staff to clean up after me, I felt bigger. Now I just feel small and that's unfair. How dare society make me feel small!

It is so sad to see the society turn us down like this. they want us to be ourselves and then judge us for that. they want us to feel beautiful and then call us full of ouselves.

Hopefully we can make a change

so so lost today do u guys have days just went to sleep all day but we(i) push me push my self .....do you

One word: money. The world runs on money, you don't have it, you're homeless. The pressure to somehow, with a disability and treatment-resistant depression, provide for myself for the rest of my life in a world that costs so much and takes and takes is exhausting. Life is too short to be unhappy... and the pressure to have a job, yet still be happy, seems impossible. I hate working for a company or any organization that doesn't care about me - and that's most organizations. I don't want to work. Period. I'm not saying money shouldn't exist... I just hate the pressure that turned me into a disabled person in the first place: work yourself to death, and desperately cling on to a relationship at all costs. You are supposed to graduate college, get married, have the house, the dog, the 2.5 kids. I graduated college... that's about it so far. And I only was able to do that prior to becoming disabled. Life is exhausting.