Not Sick Enough
I haven't posted here before, mostly because I'm scared of being called a wimp.
I guess I feel stuck between two worlds. I'm not sick enough to need disability accommodations (thank God; I don't meet all the criteria to get one) but also not healthy enough to (won't fill up the page, but Persian families aren't fun). I'm an honors student going into college soon, yet I'm not smart and strong enough to snap out of it or solve it myself. Counseling services and such are available on campus, but I'm scared of being told on again and having to pay $2-3K to be taken to a psych ED (found out I had depression and an ED a bit later, and this was three years ago).
I don't even know what to do or how to deal with these feelings.
theres no such thing as you "not being sick enough". maybe not enough to qualify for aid or as a disability but you should definitely utilize your college resources. i went to the therapist that was on my campus a few times. even if its just to vent about things, they're there to listen to you. if you ever need to talk message me!
@caringShoulder14 Thanks for the advice and support! I will definitely use the resources on campus.
My other worry is that someone (e.g classmate or professor) finds out and uses it against me. My therapist said I was probably being paranoid and that the chance is next to none, but it's happened before. I've also seen news reports of students forced to take medical leave because they were depressed.
@ErwineRommel
Sometimes people are not well informed about the ethical standards or Privacy. If you feel like you need to talk about anything, don't let others scare you away from taking care of yourself. I have benefited tremendously from just knowing the resources are available for me to rely upon.
I hope you will make the best thing decision for you. Whatever you decide, it is okay.
Wishing you well as you are working through this time.
@ErwineRommel
Don't worry about being smart or strong enough because depression happens to the smartest and the strongest people. It's not a weakness. It's your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and needs to be changed somehow, be it chemical and/or be it habits that cause malnutrician etc. It can be a lot more complicated than just fixing one thing. First things I recommend are making sure you get enough D3 vitamin from food sources and sun (15 min or so unobstructed between 9am-11am or 2pm-4pm cause ozone blocks UVB at lower angles to the ground) and listening/watching mindfulness recordings daily. Self-care is just as important as the talk therapies.
@CoinFountain You are definitely right about self care; I tend to forget about myself when I'm studying or working. I've definitely felt better when I've been working on self-care than when I was too focused on my work and also starving myself freshman year of high school. I took a screenshot of your advice too.
@ErwineRommel
I'm sorry about what you've been through. It must have been quite tough to face the social stigma of having a mental health issue. But I can see that you've work very hard in your studies on becoming a honors student, I hope that you will not give up that easily!
If you have an official diagnosis for Major Depressive Disorder from a licensed practitioner, then you will need regular medical attention from a licensed practitioner.
We have to keep in mind that mental health issues are not as simple as just "feeling a bit down", or just "being a bit emo", despite the stigma and lack of awareness in the public(If that's really the case. there won't be a whole specialty in medicine dedicated to that!). Much like having an infection needing treatment with antibiotics from a licensed practitioner, mental health issues also require the appropriate treatment and regime from a licensed doctor. We need to know that mental health issues are a real disease that needs medical attention!
If you're having adequate treatment from your doctor and you're doctor is able to verify this, personally, I do not believe that your college will simply just send you away based on the premise of you having a mental health issue, that might be illegal if I'm not mistaken. However, if the mental health problems start getting out of hand, the admins might intervened. All-in-all, please treatment is warranted, please do not hesitate to receive it.
@terrytee
I agree with the laws probably preventing that if it's anything like Canada. Most colleges and universities here have requirements to make accomodation allowances for people with special needs such as with ADD. Depression shouldn't be much different. My school had a really good psychology department which I made use of a number of times. They helped me stop feeling guit over something that wasn't my fault which I'd felt for years.
@CoinFountain Glad to hear that 
@ErwineRommel
Hey Erwine,
I think there are a lot of people in the same position as you, that is feeling they need help, but are not exactly qualifying for the help they need. As well as seeing that they are able to do things that others with the same condition cannot. I guess I wanted to leave a message just saying you are not alone, and that you deserve help. I know that 7 cups has helped me in this regard when I felt I wasn't sick enough to see a therapist. I hope we can help you here too hon! I'm sending good vibes! Good luck!
I am almost in a similar situation. I qualify for in home help due to my mental illness but because I chose to work and not be on SSI. I don't get the services. I hate being in the grey area of mental illness yes there are programs out there but due to choices I made. I don't qualify .