Nightime Blues
Is it just me or is the night the worst? I'm struggling to go to sleep not because of my normal insomnia but because I know that going to sleep means waking up the next morning and starting the whole process again of coping with depression. I'm so tired of presenting a front while I am really just miserable.
I used to just show my emotions. If I felt crappy, then I acted sad. But then either 1 of 2 things would happen: no one would notice (or atleast say anything to me about it) or people would say something dismissive about me being depressed.
Society as a whole seeems not to know how to handle people who are depressed!
Anyways, I've strayed from my post but my question is this: How do you prep yourself the night before to deal with the stresses and depression that awaits you the next morning?
@hopecounts Good question....
I have a bullet journal, so I usually try to make a list for the next day. Not a huge list, just 4 or 5 things I want to focus on at work, and 4 or 5 things at home. I include self-care items on that list, whether it's meds, knitting or taking a shower as soon as I wake up. Making a list helps me feel more in control. I also write in a journal, which I think of as emptying my mind of the things that have happened and the things I worry about.
I definitely tend toward the blues at night, so my routine has gradually developed to focus on things I know help me stay on track: watching comedies, practicing guitar, playing with my pets. My bed routine is pretty strictly at the same time nightly, mostly because every time I stop following it I feel myself slipping.
Sundays are the hardest evenings for me, so on top of the usual things, I rotate between different things that keep me from spiraling: two biggest being cooking food for the week if I have energy, or participating in a guided chat here.
@ThisIs543
Wow! What great advice. Thank you!
Mine tends to happen more often when I get up in the morning ... and then I need to load up on coffee to wake up. I dont know ... maybe Im hypoglycemic in the morning because I tend to have more energy after having my breakfast.
Last night, I had a bad dream, though, where I was trying to explain to coworkers about my best friend C passing away and was trying to hold back tears in front of them.
@AbbyHarris1976
Yikes. Sorry about your dream. That dream sounds too much like my reality.
I can't relate about mornings although I do have a hard time getting out of bed. My mornings tend to be really rushed. I should add breakfast to my list of things to do and I hope you find things to keep you busy in your mornings. I do a lot better when I keep busy.
@hopecounts
Most of my blah mornings are the ones where Im getting up to go to work ... not too surprising. 😀 I dont like to rush in the morning, so Ill get up a couple hours before I have to leave.
It was kind of weird that I had that dream because I had already been through the awkward moments of telling my coworkers about CM passing away but it was still unsettling nonetheless.
@AbbyHarris1976 I do remember reading that major depression is usually worst in the mornings.
I think I just tend especially toward rumination when I'm tired.
@hopecounts I feel the same. I try to reach out to some friends but I feel like they are not even trying to understand or they are not interested. I too have a hard time sleeping. I even take a shower before I still can't relax.
