Need a friend

@Beginagain31

Hey! I

@fearlessLime9363 Hi there! I started this thread in order to get to know other people who struggle. Feel free to share your experience. I am looking forward to talk to you and get to know you... It helps to talk about it... For example I never realized before that you can get depressed without a reason... What is your experience?

@Beginagain31

Its a really long story so Im just going to shorten it for your sake. I come from a very abusive household but thank god I dont live with them anymore. I have always thought about harming myself but I never did. When I was 11 I went through this phase of reading books on quotes and Wattpad where they beautifued self harm and thats what got me to try it. Before I knew it I couldnt stop. That was a few years ago but know Im sort of better. I dont harm myself anymore but i have depression, anxiety and minor OCD. I also suffer panic attacks. Your right! It feels so much better to talk about it. I would love to hear your story:)

@fearlessLime9363 My depression started three years ago out of nowhere. I just started struggling with intense anxiety and I lost the ability to feel joy. After few months I got better but then got it again last year, and now again two months ago. When I am depressed I also have an impulse to harm myself but I don't do it. I am sorry to hear about your problems. You must be a very brave and strong person cause you managed to survive all that

@Beginagain31

I could say the same for you. I find your story motivating. Even when you are feeling so low you never turned to harming yourself and I find that incredible. Im sure the pain will pass soon. Each time you get over your depression, you will get stronger and you will become better at overcoming you depression. It sounds weird now but one day you will be happy and content, you will be thankful for everything you have been through as it will make you a better person and teach you so many valuable lessons. I havent overcome my depression yet but Im thankful for it Im a bizarre way.. its making me a stronger person and I know you will feel the same eventually. It could take days, weeks, months or years but just wait.

@Beginagain31

Another thing is please promise that you will do everything you can to not self harm. I made that mistake and now I live everyday wasting energy on trying to hide my scars from everyone. I can

@fearlessLime9363 Thanks for all the kind words. I ve been feeling a little better in last two days, I think the meds are starting to work. I do believe I will handle depression better next time cause I know all about it now, so I agree with you.

@fearlessLime9363 I can promise that, sure! I never thought about cutting, but when I was really low I sometimes have an impulse to hit myself, but I understand that it is a part of depression, so I don't think I ll ever do it

I make new social connections while playing https://slotstory.com/slot-catalog/amazon-queen/.

Sure, that's cool

@ClassicalMe Hi nice to meet you! I have had three depressive episodes in the last three years and it has been really exhausting! Today was the first nice day after a long time. How about you? What's your story?

@Beginagain31 hi! Nice to meet you too:) i'm glad to hear you're having a good day! I live with a roller coaster of emotions. I go through days where I passionately want to die or I can't seem to make it out of bed, and I'm sad and cry at every little thing, then the next day I can be really happy and encouraging... I agree, it's VERY exhausting! I think it really helps to have a reliable support for those days where you just arent feeling superb. And I'm a great person to understand that.

@ClassicalMe Are you on therapy or medication? I started with Zoloft but now doctor told me to start taking a new one, a mood stabilizer because my moods sometimes go high. I also plan to go back to therapy. How do you cope when you're depressed? What do you do?

@Beginagain31 I do admittedly speak to a therapist on this site, and I take medications, but TBH nothing legally prescribed. I have a dog and he helps me cope with alot I think, and this site helps some too. Sometimes I just pick a spot on here (forums, therapist, listeners, my feed, etc.) and just start typing, anything, whatever I feel. I often delete it later, but at the moment it helps me cope. Sucide prevention TEXT lines are actually really cool, despite being a tad cliche, and they have talked to me through alot of tough nights. I get anxiety talking to people is why I use the texting line and not talking in person. Honestly, I'm still working on coping. I still have really bad days that I screw everything up and ruin any progress I make, or where I just am flat out depressed and nothing helps, But I think as long as your moving (frontwards OR back), your good. When you stop moving, then you run into problems.

@ClassicalMe I go through many days with the same feelings. I am on prescribed medication, but unfortunately don't have a therapist. I live in South Korea and most of the English speaking therapists are in the Seoul area and are very expensive. My depression was fine up until a few months ago and it has rapidly gotten worse. I took a new job and both the job and where I live are not conductive to my life. I started talking with one of the listeners on this site and told her that I had thoughts of ending my life and she said it made her cry. Right now it is hard for me to change anything and that is really bad. I know I need to make changes to reduce my stress and anxiety. Physically getting in better shape and eatting better food would be a good start.

So you are not alone. If you want to talk let me know.

@Beginagain31 Also, let me add, It's really good to hear from you! :)

@ClassicalMe Animals are amazing to me because they can make you smile no matter how low you feel. I cope by watching stand up comedy or just youtube clips to get distracted from depression. Also, mindfulness really helps me with anxiety. I think my meds are starting to work. I still have negative thoughts but my anxiety is gone and I feel calm. When did your depression start?

@Beginagain31that is an excellent idea, I'll have to think of that next time I get super low. If you don't mind me asking, what's your favorite things to watch on YouTube? Also, have you heard of an app called IFunny? For some weird reason, the stupidness, and believe me it can get dumb you just have to endure it to get to the funny, makes me laugh no matter how depressed I am. I started noticing my depression heavily when I turned 12 and my mood swings(or this rollercoaster as I like to call it) have gotten worse little by little as the years passed. How about you? Was depression a sudden thing or was it a gradual change?

@ClassicalMe Lately I watch a lot of Bill Burr or listen to podcasts and things like that... I also love to watch Stephen Fry s documentary on manic depression, have you seem it? . I ve never heard of IFunny, I ll check it out. My depression was sudden and out of nowhere, though I had been emotionaly unstable since puberty.

@Beginagain31 I'm sorry, I mean no offense or to make light of a heavy subject, but the puberty thing cracked me up and I almost fell out of bed laughing!!! Haven't we all? hahaha I've never heard of any of those things, but I'll look at them. If you don't mind me asking, how long do your phases of depression last? Mine last anywhere from a couple hours to sometimes like a week. I hope you're having a good day(or night depending where you are in the world)!

@ClassicalMe My episodes last for couple of months, but I really hope that will change when I start therapy and continue with medication. When you get better, are you just stable and your usual self or does your mood go up?

@Beginagain31 Sorry I didn't get back to you right away, it's been a crazy couple days for me. To answer your question, I think it's different each time. Sometimes I get estatic and sometimes I'm just okay and content. But anyways, since I haven't heard from you in a minute, How have you been? Did you do anything exciting over the weekend? I hope I'm not being to nosy, If I am just let me know that it's none of my business hahaha! I hope your having a good day!

@Beginagain31

I am new here, as of today... I would really like to be your friend. I really need someone to talk to and be friends with that understands where I'm coming from and can relate to me. Maybe we can be email penpals?

-DM

I am also new to 7 cups!

As I came across your thread I think about the fact that it has now been over 8 years since I last had a friend to talk to. 8 years without a 'phone call, without an e-mail, without a visit. Depressive illness is entwined with social isolation.

It is fading from my memory now but there is still perhaps a dimly lit recollection of warm conversations, they used to flow like a poem, now they are only echoes.

My depression started suddenly, it was a Vortex, and I have never been the same since.

But there is some light within the tunnel; if I put the effort in, with as much will as I can manage, I can still enjoy my piano, going out on my bike (the Church of the Open Road) and being with my children and cat. There are good things all around me. Maybe people like us can see the good things in our midst but we cannot move to reach them.

I would also like to add that reaching out to someone, revealing this curse, is an incredibly important conversation. It is not the same as revealing that you have been struggling with a bad back. So I admire the bravery of anyone who chooses to do so, in whatever way they see fit.