Lost
I wish instead of people saying stupid cliches about happiness, i had someone who could give me a map and a way to get out of this maze of emotions that is depression. I have one consultation every 4 weeks, i wont get CBT until they decide im in the "right mindset" and they wont give me medication saying "it takes 8 weeks to get things sorted" when really they're just scared i'll overdose again. It feels so inconsistent just like its someone doing what they can to humor me i want to feel like someone wants to help me. The only thing anyone's worried about is why i did it, i didnt want to die but i just wanted to give up its been 8 years and im so tired of it, but im selfish for not thinking of anyone else and "my life isn't my own", when do i get to think about myself? When do i get to do what i want?
I just feel so pathetic and lost, i just want to give up.