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I should (Edited) TRIGGER WARNING

cryingprincess May 17th, 2015

I still have my loving family. I have my three beautiful cats. I have my beautiful books. I'm responsible and I've to a lot of A's back in college. People said that I'm brave. I am fortunate. However, I am still not happy and I don't want to live anymore. I've been crying a lot because I also keep hearing hurtful opinions from other people including one of my family members. I get yelled at all the time. It's not fair. I am nothing but trouble. So, maybe I should die.

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Upbeat May 17th, 2015


Hello dear @cryingprincess
Purpose of life?That's something no one can answer, except yourself. Find a passion, and pursue it. Find something that makes you happy. Bring happiness to others. Do you, and don't worry about what anyone else says. I know this is cliche, but make the most of your life as you can--you don't need a career making 6 figures... just try to find what make you happy, and go for it.


Your life could be wonderful, but you could feel lonely and unfulfilled and sad, even thoughyou know you shouldn't be! It is completely normal. If you want help, I would suggest reaching out to a trusted adult and telling them how you feel because you are not wrong! You can live an amazing life and still be sad! It can be a caused by chemicals, traumatic experiences, environmental factors or even your genes! Don't feel alone or wondering why depression is present, it's not in your head. It's a real thing, and it's serious!

If how you feel is impacting your day-to-day functioning and quality of life, then you should seek help. Reaching out to a mental health professional is the best course of action, but if you don't have access to this kind of care, then community support is excellent. (Ideally you'd be able to have a mix of the two!) And even if your daily life isn't impacted, the abilityto vent and have a support network is imperative to the managing and processing of your emotions. Don't feel ashamed of reaching out to your friends or listeners on the Web.

I understand how that must feel, and it can be really frustrating. The good news is, there are a lot of people waiting to help you. You can talk to any of the 7 cups listeners. & cupsalso has counsellors online who can help you. And I'm sure there are members in your community who do this.

Help is available and you have more power than you think. There are many things you can do to help yourself or a friend start feeling.Dealing with depressions takes a lotta courage,A lot of self-love. It's really difficult to love yourself when you are dealing with depression, but it's important to practice some form ofself-care.Remember to breathe. Remember to do the things that you love, if you can. But most importantly, remember to give yourselftime. Be kind to yourself. Every step is a step forward.


Things will turn to better. Trust me, you deserve the best thing in this universe!
You aren't alone at all, we all are with you. Don't cry.
Dont worry, we are here with you through this, feel free to update us with how life is being with you.
*loves and hugs*
-kash

2 replies
cryingprincess OP May 17th, 2015

Thank you so very much. You are so kind.smiley I'm not feeling completely better, but I will not cry anymore. People's opinion don't matter to me anymore. I will do my best.

1 reply
Upbeat May 17th, 2015

enlightenedYay my girl replied! That's the spirit dear!heart

It does get better, but it may not feel like it right now. It can be hard to have hope when you feel this way, hard to believe that things will ever be different.I have been there so many times myself. Even if you can't feel it, at least know that people here care and understand what you are going through. Much love to you today!heart

im always there for you, if you ever need me! Don't be hesitate to shoot me a message okay?

Keep us updating how's it going alright?

*bear hugs*

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Lillierae May 17th, 2015

If you die now things will never be able to get better for you. Death is so final there is no way back from it,I know it's hard but if you keep on fighting everything will work out in the end and you'll be able to be happy.One day you will wake up and be glad you carried on you just have to get there first."You will one day experience joy that matches the pain" - Matt Haig.
Here are a few reasons I think you should keep trying to get better...
To simply see yourself get better
Because you've already come so far
To discover new places
and new foods
Finding a new book that you can't put down
Seeing your favourite bands live
Listening to the rain as you fall asleep
The smell of rain
The feel of rain
The night sky
Painting, even if you can't paint
Singing, even if you can't sing
Hot chocolate when it's freezing outside
Ice cream when it's boiling outside
Fireworks
Christmas
Finding someone you love and who truely loves you back
Falling asleep with them by your side
Laughing so hard thatit hurts, when you thought you'd never be able to laugh again
Because death can wait
For your cats
and because you are needed and because you are loved

If you want to die that is as low as it is ever going to feel there is only one way to go now and that is UP!
Things will be ok :) you just wait and see.

2 replies
cryingprincess OP May 17th, 2015

Thank you so very much. You are very kind too.heart I should trust myself more than relying on people to make me feel good. I should make myself feel good. I love my cats too, so I will overcome difficult situations. I will do it for my cats. I will read The Last Unicorn to relieve my pain and loneliness because I can't put that beautiful book down. Despite my bad days, I will go on living as it is forever because time is free.

1 reply
Lillierae May 18th, 2015

It makes me so happy to hear you say that :) I think you are a lot stronger than you think and you deserve happiness so eventually it will come to you when you least expect it. One of my all time favourite quotes says "sometimes, finding the light means passing through the deepest darkness" This always gives me hope when I feel at my worst because some people take happiness for granted but for us we have to fight for it and that makes it so much more special and when you get there, which you will, it will be amazing :)
I'll be thinking of you, and you always have us a 7 cups for every step a long the way.

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xoflyy May 17th, 2015

@cryingprincess

​I don't know about you, but I'm truly touched by the words of @kash216 and @lillierae and they weren't even directed at me. I'm touched because I've been where you are. I've been there more than once, and it hurts and it's awful and scary and truly is the bottom. I didn't have these two beautiful souls in my life when I was there, but I sure wish I had as their posts gave me hope, and I sincerely wish they give you hope as well. You're a beautiful person, and I know death may seem like the way out, a way to end the pain, but it truly isn't the way, ever.

I know this sounds clicheand difficult, but you just need to find the one thing that makes you keep on going forward. It's out there, I promise! I found mine, in a terribly dark hour I managed to find the smallest bit of light and now the light is overwhelming and the darkness is just but a small speck. You already listed things that could be reasons for you, you just have to find the passion within them.

Books - Reading is never truly finished! There's always one more adventure to delve into and discover!

Cats- Pets. They say taking care of a pet can help lessen the symptoms of depression, or at least make them feel less pressing. Taking care of another living thing helps give us hope. Have you considered volunteering at an animal shelter? Helping animals can help us feel good about ourselves.

Family- They're the people that will be there for us no matter what! I know you said one of them is saying hurtful things about you but family is precious. The ones you care about can make all the difference. Consider how you'll impact their life if you're gone.

These three things you listed are gifts within themselves! But perhaps the light you're looking for still hasn't been discovered, and that's ok! It's out there!

As far as help is concerned, it's really important for those of us that struggle. It's one of the scariest things you'll ever do, but you already took the first step by posting this thread here! That's amazing!! I'm super proud of you. As Kash said, yourfeelingscould be the result of chemical imbalances or genes, and those aren't within your control or your fault. They're very real and valid reasons. Depression is as serious of an illness as anything else, and just like any other illness it has ways to treat it. Seeing a doctor is a big first step, but nonethelessa very important one. Therapy is also a very important way to help with depression and these thoughts you're having. I know both of those are super scary but you can do it, I believe in you!

Of course, you have 7 cups of tea as well, which is an amazing support system! 7 cups of tea was the light I found in the darkness and it saved my life. It may not have the impact on you that it had on me but it's still a wonderful place. Look at all of the support you've received already! That's amazing! There are thousands of people here just waiting to love and support you through this journey! We can hold your hand and walk you out of the darkness. We can stand beside you when you reach out for help. We can be here to celebrate your successes! This community wants to be a part of your life, a life that, at the moment, is sad and upset and dark,but has wonderful potential! We see that, and we're here for you. We're going to get you through this!

Also, as Kash said, I'd love to get updates! I want to know how you're doing! Or if any of what we said reached you! Keep us in the loop if you'd like.

Also, in case you're interested. This is a link to therapists close to you. If you feel you can, take a look at it. If not that's totally fine!https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

Please take care darling and know you're important and love!

< 3

2 replies
Lillierae May 18th, 2015

That was really kind of you to say that :) and I'm so glad things are looking up for you! I think it will give a lot of other people hope to know that you have been there and you got through it. That is a great legacy! You must be so strong and I look to you for inspiration because it is good to know that all things come to an end. Even when your own mind lies to you and tells you depression is here to stay, it's not and that is such a comforting thought! So I thank you for your words :)

1 reply
xoflyy May 18th, 2015

Oh, those are really kind words!! Thank you so much!

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cryingprincess OP May 17th, 2015

Thank you very much. I'm sure I'll be out of the darktunnelsoon enough because I will see a speck of light. There will be light for my family as well. I'm very scared but there will always be a ray of hope. My depression will go away soon.

1 reply
xoflyy May 18th, 2015

Being scared is normal! It means your pushing yourself through your comfort zone making yourself do something your mind doesn't want to. And that's important! Good job for having such a positive outlook. I knew you could do this. One day at a time, ok! Don't overwhelm yourself.

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Hydrangea03 May 19th, 2015

dear, i am so sorry to hear that. but it is okay. it's okay to cry. it's okay to feel sad.

you know you're good. you mean something to someone. you're strong, you're brave, because you have through a lot and you're still holding on until now. it's never your fault if you feel depressed. you can talk to someone trusted, maybe?

it gets better, i promise. life might be hard right now but it will get better. you may be sad right now, but there are little things that could decrease your sadness. remember that you're amazing and God created you for a reason. you're here for a reason, you're born in the part of God's plan!

and no, you don't deserve to die! nobody does. what you deserve aregood life and happy days.

please don't give up. stay strong. prays and love sent to you. it's going to be okay. Have a good life. God bless:)

2 replies
cryingprincess OP May 19th, 2015

I won't give up!! I'm going to live forever!! Thank you so very much!! Thank you all of your kind words everyone!!heart

1 reply
Hydrangea03 May 21st, 2015

i am really, really glad to hear that. It warms my heart. I hope you're okay!

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cryingprincess OP May 20th, 2015

For everyone in this whole wide world as well, will live forever!! Be sure to stay healthy and smile!!heart

1 reply
Upbeat May 20th, 2015

cheekyHello sweetheart! @cryingprincess

How are you doing? Was thinking about you!

*bear hug*

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cryingprincess OP May 25th, 2015

Well, I'm not feeling completelybetter yet, but I am seeing better days. I am taking one day at a time too. All I have to do is think about a lot good things happened in my life and also reflect of who I was before. Not relying on people praises. If anything goes rough or when I'm about to cry over nothing, but I will go for donuts or coffee roll and hottea once a week.

Upbeat May 25th, 2015

Hello dear @cryingprincess Sometimes we can feel quite alone in this world. But, when we open up we realize we are really not that alone. Humans connect, it's what makes us wonderful. We use mutually shared feelings and experiences to do so. When you share, you connect. I know how you feel. Also, food is a great distraction indeed, glad you keep trying. It shall not be your fault to be unhappy. One can feel unhappy for many reasons other than their own. Like from other people, the surrounding, situations etc. Don't blame yourself dear! I have suffered with depression for several years and i have come to realize that it is something that never really goes away. It's something that you figure out along the way on how to better handle it. It takes a lot of time sitting down, really trying to figure out who you are as a person and what sorts of things. :-) Go out more with friends! That way, you will be able to build confidence and build for a future that someday will become your reality. You are a very strong person, and I hope things getter better for you, dont give up what could be over what is. much love

2 replies
Upbeat May 25th, 2015

*hugs tight* and im always there for you! Stay strong love and never feel hesitate to shoot me a message :)

cryingprincess OP June 6th, 2015

No. Depression does not go away. That means I have to deal with and it is not easy. Nobody thinks good about me even though I'm trying to improve myself. It's like things will be a lot better when people I knew won't hear things about me again. What if I move out to live in the apartment by myself. It's not like I don't love my family or anything, but I will feel a lot better to live by myself when I have a full time job(I'm still working part time and a very good job though). And how can I be very smart again? What can I do to prevent from people saying things I don't want to hear?

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cryingprincess OP May 25th, 2015

I will go for donuts or coffee roll and hot tea when anything goes rough for me. Sorry about my grammar.

1 reply
Upbeat May 25th, 2015

Aweee, no worries. I got that :) *hugs* @cryingprincess

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cryingprincess OP June 9th, 2015

Please excuse me for typing my last post because I wasn't in a great mood, but I'm fine. I do love my family and I will miss them if I move out. I can handle depression and people's opinion because I am proud of who I am. I had it with depression and madness because it makes me sad. My life is not really bad. Food is a distraction, but going for sweets and hot tea still makes me feel better. Even for once or twice a week.

2 replies
Upbeat June 9th, 2015

heart

Hello@cryingprincess

​I'm really sorry because just today I have seen your posts. Well it's okay to vent sweetheart. It's completely understandable. I know how you feel, sometimes it can be frustratingand overwhelming too.You are a wonderful person worthy of love, you have a purpose and worth, and don't let anyone tell you differently! I haven't even met you and I care about you! No one should ever be made to feel the way you feel and be treated likethat! That's wrong! *gives hug* things will get better, just take each day reminding yourselfthat what otherpeople think doesn'tmatter unless it's making you happy.I know first hand how difficult it is and my heart truly goes out to you.I hope you're doing okay. If you ever want to talk to someone, I'm always here, my friend. You are never alone.You are always welcome to message me dear. (:

I'd loveto give you something sweetheart ->http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share?language=enandhttp://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.

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