I feel so ashamed
It's not as though I'm a bad person who's done pretty terrible things...but I'm suffocating because of my shame. I'm so sensitive to my imperfections. I'd say I'm my own worst critic. I don't want to face anyone because I've convinced myself that all they see are my mistakes. I'm a mistake, a disappointment, a burden...worthless, a waste of time, waste of breath. I'm always picking the pieces of my life at the end of each day. I'm so tired and added to that, I'm struggling with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 19 and it's only getting worse. Constant pain and even worse fatigue, both physical and emotional. I mean, the pride of young people is their strength...where does that leave me? People have no idea how lightly they take something like dressing yourself, walking and running...but that's just how unfair life is. So unfair... I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I just need to let it out...even if not many people see this or even care one bit...I just need to put it out there, let it out. I can't bottle these feelings in anymore. They've been eating me from the inside out. I feel so raw...💔