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How hard my life is! shock story

RoseKay September 8th, 2014
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I want to share my story cause i want people who understand me well......I didnt met my dad's or my mom's family so i was only with my dad and my mom i though we were a real/cute/"perfect" family, i was wrong...my dad left us when i was 13 that moment hurt me alot, i was depresses but my mom was my support...i knew tht i need to move on for her! so since that day i don't trust people i don't have friends, well....now i'm 18 years old......one day when i came back home from school i found my mom hang, it was so hard...i really dnt remember what was in my mind, only one question....Why? why she took herlife? Im not enough to live? for fight? i though she was happy, i feel guilty...im really alone:'( i talk the hotlines/911 not so helpful, im trying to find the right words tht mke move on,advices, i know you cant give me advices, but i dont know im so lost here....

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lovey0urself September 8th, 2014
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Wow, it sounds like you've been through a lot. Sending hugs your way! I'm really sorry the hotlines and all haven't been much of a help. There are crisis chat networks online and crisis text numbers that work like hotlines available, but if that doesn't appeal to you I completely understand.

I can't imagine what kind of emotions you must be feeling right now. Even though we unfortunately can't fix your problems, all of us at 7 cups are always here for you to listen when you need itheart Stay strong!

RoseKay OP September 8th, 2014
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Thank you! and really? i ddnt know about that! do you have the numbers or the links for the chat? and thanks alot!

Pandette September 8th, 2014
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https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AoySdaM_S6CLdHp2OGJySkxjWlBtZHpXV25veWk4cEE&usp=sharing#gid=0

There you go, Rose!

lovey0urself September 8th, 2014
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Of course!

For the US, crisischat.organd imalive.orgare two of the best sites out there.

For the text line, text "Listen" to 741741.

If you're from another country, check outthis website and/or let me know, and I cansee if I have one for your country.

RoseKay OP September 8th, 2014
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THank you!

RoseKay OP September 8th, 2014
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THank you!

Pandette September 8th, 2014
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Hey RoseKay,

I know this can be a very difficult situation for you to deal with, but things will get better. It is never easy to deal with what you have gone through, but I just wanted to let you know that we here at 7 Cups will be here for you whenever you need an ear, a shoulder, and a friend. Reconnecting with society can be very difficult, but you can do it. I?m not saying it happens overnight, but as long as you try your best, things will start to look brighter. If you ever want to speak to someone, I hope you know that you can come to me. I will always be here for you, no matter what. Do take care of yourself, RoseKay. Sending lots of love and hugs your way!

Sincerely,

Your Friend, Pandette.

RoseKay OP September 8th, 2014
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Thank you so much for your support! but im like giving up so i wanna try everything and if it doesnt work well at least i tried and its over

liligrace September 8th, 2014
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Hi RoseKay

I am so very sorry this happened to you. I know it is so difficult to believe or understand but your mothers suicide had nothing to do with how important you were to her. When people are suicidal they usually are not thinking right. Their mind is delusional and believes that family will end up okay. I have read it time and again on a suicide forum. They do not understand how important they are to their children or spouse or parent. They cannot see it becsuse their mind is not thinking right. Even when they pretend to others they are totally fine and clear thinking. They hide it well.

Someone gave you 2 places to contact. I hope you will try them, if you live in the US. If not, maybe you can say here what country you live in. So people can suggest places to contact in your country. Please do not give up. I cannot imagine the pain you are in. And still I ask you not ti give up. Sending hugs if thats okay with you