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Feeling really down tonight
BeautifulAndBroken2022 August 27th, 2022
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My husband makes me feel like garbage. He has been doing it on a daily basis for awhile now. He says the meanest stuff to me and then continues to say that what he said isn’t a put down. In all honesty, it is. I’m tired and worn out. It has taken a toll on me and I honestly believe this is what has lead me into being depressed and hating myself. I know the easy solution, if you want to call it easy- it’s to leave. But how do I leave when I have been with him practically my whole life?! He is the only one I ever truly loved. We have a child together and that makes it harder. I’m lost. I’m hurt and heartbroken. I can’t take it anymore. I do everything for him. Guess I’m not good enough. Never will be. And I know the saying is I will be good enough for the right person, but that person was him. He was my one. His parents treated him like S… so I guess he thinks it’s ok to treat me like that. Thanks for reading if you got this far. I needed that off my chest. I really could use a shoulder to cry on, but I don’t have one 😢

3
carefulSailboat231 August 27th, 2022
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Been there! It’s not easy. And telling you it’s not a put down is gaslighting. It is NOT easy to leave. Know that loving someone doesn’t mean you have to stay forever. I think of how I want my child to see a living relationship - what they should want for themselves. If that’s is not what I am showing them, then that’s a good indicator it’s a bad situation.


For me, I had to really remember who I was BEFORE him to understand how much he undermined my confidence and self esteem. It took a while but it gave me the confidence I needed.


Can you think of a time before him when you felt awesome? What was happening in your life then?


BeautifulAndBroken2022 OP August 28th, 2022
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Thank you for replying back. I know loving him doesn’t mean I have to stay, but part of me wants to stay. He was not always like this. Something lately must be bothering him because he didn’t do this before. And I know it still gives him no right.


I’m sorry, I forgot to add that our child doesn’t see this. I would never forgive myself if that was the case.


I honestly wasn’t in a relationship 2 years before I met him. I had gotten out of a really bad one and the guy was abusive one time towards me, so I left. Then I met my husband 1 year later. We became friends first, then the 2nd year we started dating. I honestly was not very happy because I thought I would never find my person. Then I met him and everything changed. He broke down the walls that I put up. He was so different than the others I was with.

BeautifulAndBroken2022 OP August 28th, 2022
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And I am sorry that you dealt with this too. It’s definitely not easy.

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