Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

If my depression were a human it would be a clingy, lazy person my age that wants us to just sit facing the wall and complain about how boring life is. When I want to do something that makes us feel better, she would try to stop me because it's too much effort and probably wouldn't work. She'd prefer doing nothing and staring at the wall over anything

My depression is a dark cloud that curls up on me during times of stress. It's a good friend of mine, albeit an annoying one. I gave it a name. I imagine this person to be beautiful but ultimately, a destructive parasite. This person is very much like a cunning creature, however, not a traditional one. Many forms and shapes can be taken with this individual. He's ruthless, he's cunning, but at the end of the day, he is draining. I sometimes spend hours away from him, happy. However, I sometimes miss him. That's the allure and familiarity of depression. While I hate depression, depression likes to claw back and entice me further, because I am used to this.

However, I have the upper hand. I can muffle the voice of the creature temporarily, enough so that I have enough emotional clarity to do other things. That is my story, and my story to bear.

If my depression were a person, it would be like a fake friend. Someone who does nothing but put me down, makes me feel bad about myself, and never ackowedges the good choices I make and the success I have accomplished. But they make me feel guilty for expressing how I feel, and disregard every chance I try to stand up for myself. If my depression were a person, I would want to cut them out of my life so that I could feel more free, no matter how hard it may be. I'm hoping to gain the courage and strength to eventually do that.

If my depression were a person, it would be extremely judgemental. It would be someone who is clever, ruthless, and put together-- constantly one step ahead of you. To me, it would be someone who expects a lot and is constantly disappointed-- someone who always discourages you from trying because you're already failing.

If my depression was a person, they would be the most balanced person in the world.... Balanced in that for every aspect of his life, there is always an equal and direct opposite. When he yells at you, it's follow by love. When he hits you, it's follow by a hug. When he offers you hope, it's followed by disappointment. When he offers a tissue, it's followed by reminders of why you cry.

If my depression was a person it would be very judgmental, very negative and impossible to be around, basically a big mean bully. It would make everyone uncomfortable. I would avoid being around them at all cost.

If my depression were a person, they would look like me and people would point out how similar we were, because they would seem cheerful at the outside but very hateful and toxic on the inside. I would be stuck in this relationship with them as if we were frenemies who would want each other gone. They'd gaslight me into thinking that only because I'm feeling good at one point, the bad stuff hasn't happened in the first place.

I would wonder why they stay around me so long

She would be my worst bully. She would hurt my feelings all the time. She would be a mean beautiful skinny girl

they would be a shadow looming over me in my room they would be inky and would have a sick smile and when i feel particularly bad they would whisper in my ear about all the things that cause me depression and make it worse and then they would laugh at me as i sit their in misery