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emerijourney
12,739 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 90 Compassion hearts444 Forum posts106 Forum upvotes141 Current upvotes141 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceJune 15, 2017
Bio

Hi! I am Emeri, a 20-year-old guy.
I've been diagnosed with autism, a major depressive disorder, and a generalized anxiety disorder. I'm still figuring out how to navigate my life!

❤️

Recent forum posts
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thinking of giving up on college (for now)
Anxiety Support / by emerijourney
Last post
 November 30th, 2020
...See more Hi everyone! Like many other people, 2020 has thrown me a lot of curveballs. I'm 19 and have been going to community college and living with my parents, and I've taken enough credits to get my associates and to transfer to a 4 year university to get my bachelor's degree- I need to make the decision NOW of whether to apply to schools or not. But I really am not doing so well mentally. I have no motivation, and hardly remember things in my classes. Though I've been doing well in school (as far as grades), this semester I feel like I've been spiralling. Paired with that, I have severe anxiety, and get anxious to go to the grocery store- let alone moving out. Everyone is expecting me to transfer and complete my degree as fast as I can based on my grades, but I just... can't even summon the energy to get out of bed sometimes. Especially since everything is online, I just feel so alone, especially with the whole transfer process- and though I had big dreams and DO NOT want to give up on my education, I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I have literally nothing to put on my applications besides the fact that I got a good GPA and I've been working- I never did clubs, I never made any friends, and I'm constantly feeling like I've made a poor decision. Anyway, I'm considering just turning into a part-time student at my community college for next year and take more classes there, picking up another job, and getting some therapy. I just don't want to be that kid that stays at home with the parents forever, but I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next year. I feel like if I go to another expensive university, I'm just going to keep forcing myself to push through all of this anxiety without really dealing with it. Anyway... thoughts? I honestly am happy with any sort of feedback. :) -Emeri
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feeling like I've given up on trying
Anxiety Support / by emerijourney
Last post
 June 19th, 2020
...See more Hi everyone, I just feel like every little bit of bravery I've built up over the past few years has been knocked down. I just don't have the courage to go out and do simple things like go to the bank or return my textbooks-- most of small tasks are just sitting on my desk, ignored. I have to give myself talk myself down from anxiety attacks to go to work, and it takes so much energy just to get up and do simple things. I feel like the days are all slipping away from me. I also just feel very isolated (obviously because of current events, but also just because of life). I feel like nobody really needs me or wants to have a conversation with me, and what few friends I've made I feel like I've effectively distanced myself from and I don't know how to get them back. I really crave people in my life, but it's just been so long of being alone. Even before the pandemic, I was really, truly lonely. I feel like I'm stuck while everyone else is pushing forward. It's really hard to be motivated and have dreams anymore, and yes, it sounds stupid to say, because I am a young adult and I should be more excited about life than I am but it's just so hard to feel anything anymore. I either feel indifferent or I feel too much about everything, and I just don't know how to handle it. I really don't want to feel like this anymore, and I'm so done with feeling like I'm failing before I've even started. I've tried going to therapy in the past, which gave me techniques to handle panic attacks/ situations that may trigger my anxiety, but I feel like I need some advice as even when I implement breathing techniques, listening to music, trying to talk through it with myself, I still feel awful. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated! I hope you all are hanging in there. Emeri
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Fear of failure
Anxiety Support / by emerijourney
Last post
 August 5th, 2017
...See more I'm so SO scared of messing something up somehow, even if the consequences aren't that dire. Everything just has to work out, or else I just feel so awful about it. It's kind of becoming a problem...
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