Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?
So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?
Depression is a self centred person.
My depression would be a guilt tripper and paranoid person, just there constantly saying things at the back of my mind like: "I dont know about you, but what are you without me really? What are you even crying about?"
Then it would sometomes take me to rides that feel so free and exciting, then there's the pressure that after this there would be school or a missed homework. It would turn to me and say: "Shouldve done it earlier, youre too lazy. Youre too carefree."
Then when the paranoia sets in, it would binge eat or hurt itself on purpose. Telling itself, the end is near and you couldve just died sooner or people are mean and ganging up on you.
Then suddenly after a breakdown, a long sleep and everything is suddenly calm again. Like the sea after a storm.
My depression is the water that threatens to drown me. Lulling me softly deeper into the warm dark waters. And promising me the safest rest coaxing me to forget the land and fall in deeper. It is the shadow that hugs me from behind before seeping into my chest promising me that there is nothing more. It is the only whisper that comforts me at night even as I fall apart telling me to stay awake so I dont have to wake up in the morning to face the next day. And at other times the whisper that tells me it would be better to just be asleep so to get away from all these things. Forever holding me when I become weak persuading me to let it take over. But despite all its sweet nothings its hard to break away, entangled in its silky webs, slowly Ill suffocate.
I would say that my depression is like a doppelgänger/shadow twin of mine in appearance, always wears a smile on her face but spits nothing but deprecation. She speaks as though my conscience. She follows me everywhere but not always shows her face to me. Daytime, she screams poisons in my ears should I fail her escalatingly high expectations; nighttime, she whispers into my ears how a failure I am and whats the reason to march forward knowing that I wont be able to reach the end anyway. She calls me names behind the shadow. She likes to remind me that trying to cultivate success was futile because I was and have always been destined to fail, at everything; she makes me doubt myself She always hides whenever I attempt to confront her, but her dominance in my conscious mind is always omnipresent.
I would say that my depression is like my doppelgänger/shadow twin, always wearing a smile on her face but spitting nothing but deprecating poisons. She speaks as though my own conscience. She follows me everywhere but seldom reveals herself. Daytime, she screams at me, driving me to the verge of tears whenever she deems me failing of her escalatingly high expectations; nighttime, she whispers into my ears how a failure I am and that I am only a little more than a waste of space. She likes to remind me that theres no reason for me to march forward whatever destination I planned out for my future because I will never be able to see it, let alone reach it, anyway. Youre destined to fail, face the reality! is her favourite phrase to yell into my face. She vanishes like a thin breeze whenever I attempt to confront her, but her dominance in my mind is omnipresent and seems to be constantly growing each subsequent day, asserting the fact that she will certainly return once I drop my guard.
I have no idea if its a miracle or the work of my estranged willpower, but I am nearly twenty years old and there was a time that I believed I wouldnt be able to count my age past thirteen. She seems to have no intention of claiming my life, yet enjoying seeing me slowly descending into insanity, however.
@nekokina wow your depression sounds a lot like mine
@nekokina
I'm sorry to hear this...I wish I could tell you just how brave you have been and yeah you made it to 20. Perhaps there is just so much pressure on us at high school that we forget that it's important to live and love ourselves
Doppelgangers are quite scathing aren't they
What you have said has been really helpful to me and it's very important
It would be a black demon-type animal. It is always nearby to tell me to doubt myself, to hate myself, and it loves giving unlimited reasons for all that. Its main goal, though, would seem to be to convince me that I can never nor will ever truly get rid of it. Because after all, you
if my depression was a person itd look like my mother. itd look like my friends, and my teachers, and my family, and my work. itd look like myself.
my depression is a person, because shes me. i cant escape her, i cant talk about her, i cant fix her.
she smothers me in my sleep and crushes me when im awake. she talks to me and tells me things that i rely on hearing, like how im not good enough and that i dont deserve anything. i think about not having her around, and not being normal, but without her im not me.
If my depression was a person, they would never get out of bed. They would be in the same pajamas for three months and basically bones, always asleep, never wanting to do anything.
If my depression were a person she would sleep all day unable to get up, and cry often knowing she is letting those around her down. She would often feel replaceable and lost.
My depression has two faces, it stares at the world and finds nothing good there and it tells me that it is my fault.
