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- Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
I feel sick and down .
I Dont know why I feel sad often .. May be because I m in closet .. May be because I am lonely ..
I feel the need to lean on someone .. I know its crazy .. But I always wish I had someone to lean on for .. To listen to all things that made me sad that day .. To say things ll get better ..
Sharing my own version of the revelations of a depressed human being.
I noticed I especially liked to ruminate negatively when I was depressed. Why I asked myself. Why? Why do I feel compelled to share my negativity and experiences of sadness or failures, maybe even more in fact than I liked sharing my positive experiences?
Then I thought of most depressed people or negative people that also do the same, whether to themselves (ruminate), or to others.. ! Why ?
It dawned onto me slowly, especially having read some Ekhart Tolle recently.
Well... Because they have indeed identified strongly with negativity, or rather, their sense of self, their mental representation of themselves, their Ego, has defined itself strongly with negativity. 'I AM fed up, today I had a horrible day, MY feelings were ...etc'
And the ego likes to experience itself, no matter the cost,,, after all, the ego doesn't care about anything expect self-validation does it? In fact, it would encourage strong emotion to feel itself, validate it's existence and convince everyone that it truly exists - regardless if positive or negative.
But perhaps negative experiences and feelings stick even better as we are especially wired and programmed to remember what has made us suffer in the hopes of avoiding it!
Add to that the fact that negativity breeds strong emotion that need to be release, else they would simmer dangerously in our psyche..
So my answer to why depressed people love to share their stories is: 1. Their mental representation of themselves is strengthened, and they feel they truly exist and validate their egos, and 2. They release some negative emotion while doing that.
The problem is they end up in their own prisons! Their identification with negativity is strengthened (the more you exercise a muscle, the stronger it becomes), and hence they have a stronger, more negative ego, and therefore they will produce negative emotion and unconsciously go looking for it in everyday life. In other words, the brain is now wired to look for and express negativity better! How's that make sense huh!??
The truth is, yes there's hope! The truth is that Any self definition is ultimately FALSE. They're just thoughts, utterances, syllables, words, blahs and bla blas. It doesn't matter what the brain thinks of the human being carrying it - negative or positive. The brain is an instrument at the end of the day. It's not = person. The truth is otherwise: I AM is totally different than thought. It's there by default, as Children are before being tarnished by our stupid creations. I AM = Being. Just being, a human Being (minus an overactive, overly stimulated, saturated modern brain - in other words, minus our world's insanity!)
Thanks for reading.
heres to being... Pure being, away from thinking, analyzing and conceptualizing. Thank you Ekhart Tolle for the light you have brought to me:)
cheers everyone!
Today I feel empty. Not like hungry, or even unsatisfied with my situation, just empty, like there's nothing there at all. Today I didn't feel at all. Today is like any other day, unimportant, unimpressive. Today I haven't smiled, I haven't laughed, or cried, or felt anger or peace. Today I was nothing and tomorrow I will be the same.
I've been fluctuating between numbness and suicidal very sad and in pain and overwhelms by everything and exhausted but also restless
I feel like I'm stuck inside of a huge box full of my depression. It's suffocating.
I don't know how I feel. I've grown numb. I used to feel so much, hurt, anger, confusion, sadness, alone. Recently I've been feeling nothing. Could I be approaching that moment when I snap? Pethaps. I really don't know.
So tired of pretending, of being someone else. Dressing and acting the 'proper way'. No one knows me.
Today? Frustrated, sad, and a little annoyed. But the sun is out and I'm trying to focus on that happy little piece of my life.
Tired and some brain fog...had to try three times to spell tired correctly! I'm diffusing lemon and lime essential oils and it is helping a little!
Almost normal when I woke but getting worse as the day's gone on. Which means in a couple of days I'm gonna be feeling really bad.
i feel so unwanted, I try to talk to them but it's like I'm a ghost, they just keep walking on without me. My mother doesn't care all she wants is gossip to spread around the family and I can't go to my friends 'cause God knows how much they hate me. They all hate me, sometimes I wonder if it's better to just disappear.
I wish there was a more straight forward group where it's about thinking and not random events like for specific people who prefer a more sophisticated approach
Hi @Ejflores! Maybe you'll be interested in checking out the Thinking Space chat room? I don't know if it's available for you as a teen, so please let me know if this suggestion is helpful.
Also, I send you a little message on the Feed, but because of the age group difference you want be able to receive it. However, you can click here to see it ^^
I hope you have a good day!
Alone. Mean. I feel like I keep hurting my friends feelings, I don't mean to if I am. I just feel like I accomplished nothing today. I asked her and she said i wasn't at all. I feel lie something else is wrong too. But she is my only closest friend right now, I don't want to lose her. And I don't want it to be my fault. I've had it happen before, it was not fun.
@MeteorShower, I think you're a good friend, being concerned with your best friend feelings. I know it's hard to overcome the persisting negative thoughts, but try to trust your friend's words. If they say you haven't done anything wrong, trust her judgement. Maybe your best friend has something anxious going on in her life which gives you these vibes? Have you consider talking openly about it with them on that subject? It could give you a peaceful mind.
Also, I sent you a little message on the Feed, but because of the age group difference you want be able to receive it. However, you can click here to see it ^^
I hope you have a good day!
I made it through the whole day ... i lost my very special lady ( my mam) 4 years ago yesterday ... its true what they say ... life carries on it never stops ... so i stopped instead for once ... and took the time out ... to collect my thoughts ... and remember the good times we shared together ... it dunt take the pain away ... but it gives u a hidden comfort deep inside of u ... that she was with me at that moment in time ... xx
I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm like a Diet Coke withmentos in it and the lid super glued shut. I have this huge weight inside me and it won't go away and the only way to make it better is to unscrew the lid and explode