Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
I was ok today but now i feel sad, I know why, but I can't take him out of my mind.
@Silvi92 what's happened
This is my first time here in depression forums but I'm just struggling so bad right now. The last couple days have been increasingly awful to the point where I actually hurt myself earlier today. I've spent a couple hours today just laying in bed because I haven't had the energy for anything else. I'm tired, somehow both hurting and numb at the same time.
@northernChild sorry your feeling like this
@northernChild, I'm sorry to hear that you're in so much excruciating pain that you had to outlet this in such way. You are exhausted and hurt and inhumanly strong for fighting for such a long time. Still you've reached out to this community and been honest and for that I'm more than proud of you. It's the hardest thing to do in times of overpowering darkness.
You don't deserve this pain, lovely. I don't believe you want to be hurt. It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
You are trying to do anything that could help you survive another hour. You're doing as best as you can to stay in the fight.
Please connect to the listener to chat 1-on-1, because talking about it in the real time with someone gives relief. Here's the full list of verified listeners who are capable of giving you appropriate support.
It's not much, but for me when I've been struggling with self-harm tendencies, this community guide helps a bit.
Love, you don't feel like it, but you're strong, because you are here, still reaching out and fighting for yourself. That's enough.
*hugs tightly*
Thank you so much @Celaeno! I feel a lot better today, but I'll keep those links in mind for the next time. Thank you for your kind words, they were exactly what I needed last night. You're an angel <3
I felt pretty okay earlier today, but now I feel worthless and just want to hide away from everything. I feel like all my friends hate me and I am just really jealous of everyone. Theres this "hole" in my stomach I just can't get rid of...
@modestThinker8946
why yuh feel that way ?
I feel sad and just not motivated to do anything with anyone. I'm stay in my room and watch the world go by.. Thinking I just don't care about anything anymore.
I feel sick and down .
I Dont know why I feel sad often .. May be because I m in closet .. May be because I am lonely ..
I feel the need to lean on someone .. I know its crazy .. But I always wish I had someone to lean on for .. To listen to all things that made me sad that day .. To say things ll get better ..
Sharing my own version of the revelations of a depressed human being.
I noticed I especially liked to ruminate negatively when I was depressed. Why I asked myself. Why? Why do I feel compelled to share my negativity and experiences of sadness or failures, maybe even more in fact than I liked sharing my positive experiences?
Then I thought of most depressed people or negative people that also do the same, whether to themselves (ruminate), or to others.. ! Why ?
It dawned onto me slowly, especially having read some Ekhart Tolle recently.
Well... Because they have indeed identified strongly with negativity, or rather, their sense of self, their mental representation of themselves, their Ego, has defined itself strongly with negativity. 'I AM fed up, today I had a horrible day, MY feelings were ...etc'
And the ego likes to experience itself, no matter the cost,,, after all, the ego doesn't care about anything expect self-validation does it? In fact, it would encourage strong emotion to feel itself, validate it's existence and convince everyone that it truly exists - regardless if positive or negative.
But perhaps negative experiences and feelings stick even better as we are especially wired and programmed to remember what has made us suffer in the hopes of avoiding it!
Add to that the fact that negativity breeds strong emotion that need to be release, else they would simmer dangerously in our psyche..
So my answer to why depressed people love to share their stories is: 1. Their mental representation of themselves is strengthened, and they feel they truly exist and validate their egos, and 2. They release some negative emotion while doing that.
The problem is they end up in their own prisons! Their identification with negativity is strengthened (the more you exercise a muscle, the stronger it becomes), and hence they have a stronger, more negative ego, and therefore they will produce negative emotion and unconsciously go looking for it in everyday life. In other words, the brain is now wired to look for and express negativity better! How's that make sense huh!??
The truth is, yes there's hope! The truth is that Any self definition is ultimately FALSE. They're just thoughts, utterances, syllables, words, blahs and bla blas. It doesn't matter what the brain thinks of the human being carrying it - negative or positive. The brain is an instrument at the end of the day. It's not = person. The truth is otherwise: I AM is totally different than thought. It's there by default, as Children are before being tarnished by our stupid creations. I AM = Being. Just being, a human Being (minus an overactive, overly stimulated, saturated modern brain - in other words, minus our world's insanity!)
Thanks for reading.
heres to being... Pure being, away from thinking, analyzing and conceptualizing. Thank you Ekhart Tolle for the light you have brought to me:)
cheers everyone!
I feel okay today.
Today I feel empty. Not like hungry, or even unsatisfied with my situation, just empty, like there's nothing there at all. Today I didn't feel at all. Today is like any other day, unimportant, unimpressive. Today I haven't smiled, I haven't laughed, or cried, or felt anger or peace. Today I was nothing and tomorrow I will be the same.
Feeling down and tired
