Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@DoTheMudkip17

It's easy to feel that way, for sure. But do know that I care, tons of lovely people care for you here. You are lovely and important, and if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know.

So bad. Too much emotional pain. I got my 3rd tattoo and my 6th ear piercing last night to focus on physical pain rather than emotional. I'm self destructing

@impartialComputer9780

Tattoos and piercings can be super lovely and distracting. However, I am sorry that they were on account for your emotional pain. Sometimes a new tattoo can signify a new change, though; like, some people cut their hair when things get too hard, some people get tattoos and piercings. It's all coping.

I'm sending all of my love and good feelings your way, because you're deserving of happiness for sure.

I feel like I am nothing and I will never truly matter to anyone.

@Michaud22

Matter is matter. If you exist even a bit to a stranger, you already mean something to someone. Nobody wants to see anyone brought down so low. Because people are naturally nosy and busybody, nobody be nothing. Don't give up on yourself. You will always matter. Truth be in your own persistence.!

I was getting very upset but then said " heck no" and took back my life. Some people out there try to bring you down . But it's up to us to say your not bringing me down and rise over them. This is my life your messing with and I aim to find the positive!

@Lostlovetx72

I'm so glad and inspired to read your post, this is a great attitude! Thanks a lot for sharing

Most of the days I feel lonely and confused. Waking up to the same worthless feeling again and again every morning. Today I didn't even get sleep. I just lay in bed with eyes closed. The emptiness inside hurts.

@theodore858

I'm sorry you feel this way, i know the feeling very much and understand your hurt, but we are in this together which make it feel less lonely, we can share the hurt which will make it lighter, you are doing a great job by expressing your self, hugs

All I want to do is lay in bed all day. Even if I get out of bed, I just lay on the couch and watch tv. I don't take care of myself and I ignore my responsibilities. I don't know how to get up and move forward with my life. I wish there was some magic pill I could take that would make me feel better, more alive, but that doesn't exist. I don't know where to go from here.

@brenvan

Hey Brenvan, well you are here at 7 cups, sharing with us and writing things you are thankful for and which is a great step forward towards your self, you are aware of what you want, just dig deeper to find our what is holding you back, Be Loved

I feel like all I'm capable of is making mistakes. Like even when I try my hardest to make the right decision or even just do something, it always blows up in my face. I just have to accept that I can't do anything right.

@megkath10

Hi There, i really know what you mean, this can be depressing a lot, below quote helps me sometimes with such feelings:

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
– Lucille Ball

Fed up the pain is getting worse i feel so unwell, and worthless and everything just keeps getting worse and worse and i dont know how to deal with it anymore. im sick of having to pretend im okay when inside i am breaking. i just want to be okay again... well tbh i wouldnt know what feeling okay is like anymore...

@JoyIntoDarkness

Hi Joy, i'm sorry for all the pain you have, just be your self and Love yourself, you are more than enough and you are worth every drop of kindness, hugs

I woke up this morning and my only thoughts were on how to distract myself from my mind until I go to sleep tonight.

@PotterySherd

You as anyone in the entire World, deserve your love and kindness, Hugs

I guess I feel a little better. But I've felt so empty lately.. Like now.. Im wide awake.. No clue what that noise was that woke me up nearly two hours ago.. But I can't sleep now. I don't know what it is..

I'll figure it out soon enough hopefully. I have to..

Yesterday had one huge upside. I was talking with one of my friends and he actually assumed I was a boy.. it made me so happy since I have such a feminine baby face. I don't identify as male (I'm genderfluid) but I prefer masculine or neutral pronouns.. He was so confused.. But I cleared it up and explained it to him. Just the little things make me feel good. It put a smile on my face even if it was an honest mistake.

@lovingPine3496

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling that little bit better, sometimes taking those small steps are the kind that really mount up, and you deserve to be happy.

Insomnia can be one of the worst side effects of depression, in my experience, it is so frustrating and it hollows you out after a while, I hope that your sleeping pattern can get better soon. Perhaps you don't have to figure it out alone, would your doctor be able to help? There's a great resource here if that's not an option.

Congratulations! That must have made you feel so good about yourself, so validated and accepted ❤ You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin, and even though what strangers have to say shouldn't affect us, it really does! Here's to many more people seeing you as you are.

@lovingPine3496

Can you give an example of a gender neutral pronoun? I am intrigued. More like "you" instead of he/she? My nephew is in a relationship with someone who feels the way you do, and though I understand some of the psychology of it, I was wondering about this part. Good for you, for allowing yourself to define who you are instead of others doing that to you.

@struggler64 neutral...meaning like they/them

How do I really feel today?

Well that's quite the question in a simple way I'm not okay and I'm not alright. But, I have never been one for simple. After having a fantastic 9 hour sleep I woke up tired like usual and finding it hard to get out of bed, however, is needed to pee and my cat was meowing the shit out of my ear and begrudgingly my shitty-as-fuck day started I had a pretty normal day watched TV, a movie and read some more of my lovely book. But, even though from the surface I may have seemed okay with no worries, I was anything but. My skin inched for a blade, to be separated until blood had a clear river through. Yet I resist. Then there are times I just want to cry, cry my life away, but, I can't I have no more tears yet to shed I was only dry and numb. So instead I just hate myself. Hate they way I look, hate the way I feel, hate who I have become and hate myself for still being here.

Hi , my name is Lostlovetx

I read this and thought this was me a few weeks ago. One thing I discovered after a mediating tape on here( trust me I was pissed when I started listening to it. At first I wanted to throw my phone out the window thinking this totally sucks but I gave it a try) that we have control of our breathing. I know that probably sounds dumb but stop and think about it. If we control our breathing then guess what we have control of our own feelings. Since I can remember I have lived my life with a dark cloud that followed me every where. I also self harmed wanting that pain I carried to bleed out. It did for a while put then it resurface back even stronger and then I had the pain from the wound I caused myself. I realize now that no matter what has happen to me in my past it will not control my mind. I control my mind and I control my feelings . It's not easy but today was the first day in my long journey ahead of me that I actually giggled and wasn't ashamed because I did. I hope that what ever is bring you down will be mended and your able to feel joy. Just know your not alone. We are here for you. I'm just a member on here. But I hope one day I am able to become a listener. I want to give back to the ones hurting just like me and say " we can do this"

hugs many hugs from me to you

@depressofreak

I am sorry you feel so badly. I have been there, even fairly recently. Naturally, I can't know what you are going through specifically. But I know what it is like to want to die, as I have thought I wanted that for the majority of my life. Suddenly though, stuff is getting extra real. I may have a tumor in my head (doc is ordering brain scan), and I also need an echocardiogram for a heart problem I didn't even know I had. Found all that out on one day (last Friday). I don't want the control taken away from me, but shit happens in this life, and it certainly has in mine, hence the suicidality and self-harm history. Now, I want to fight for my life, if I have to. Yet the depression leaks back in and says to me "why bother?" My life has been jacked up from day one, and I am over 50 years old. I've hung in here this long, why not see how it plays out? What would you do if you found out you actually had a terminal illness? Fight or give into it? Wouldn't you want to go out on your terms? Maybe, just maybe you are unhappy because you are living on someone else's terms, or they are defining who you are? Maybe, just maybe if you take control back for yourself, you'll want to be here. It is a valid possibility. If you hate how you look, try to change it. I look just like the mother who wrecked my life, and I hate seeing her in the mirror. However, I don't have her ugly, blackened soul, so all is well. What about yourself can you like? I bet you can find some thing or things that you can live with about you. The thing about depression is, it gives you tunnel vision, and all you can see is the darkness around you, not the light at the end. There always is a light at the end, you just have to figure out what you want out of life if you were to stick around? Life isn't worth living if we stay in the black hole of depression, but if we're willing to do what it takes to dig ourselves out, then we have a decent shot at happiness. I hope you find your way out of your tunnel.

Thought most of my life I've always felt like I'm nothing to anyone, even my parents, like the world and everyone in it would move in if I just disappeared one day. I've more and more like this recently. A few of my friends who don't know about my depression ask why I sleep so much, I never know what to say, so I just say "tired I guess." If it wasn't for school I would never do anything. I want to be normal. I want to be happy.

@Corineedshelp

I've often felt that way too. I guess I'd encourage you to go out and make yourself matter to others. How do you do that? Show people that they matter to you, and you will find that they often reciprocate. Show them also that you matter to yourself by putting your best self forward. Fake it till you make it. Extending yourself for others is a natural anti-depressant. You might not always end up mattering to those you want to matter to, but if that is the case, they weren't the right people for you anyway. Volunteer somewhere. Invite people out to coffee. Baby steps to start. Let your heart lead the way. You will feel better!

I just woke up from a nightmare crying. In the dream, I watched my family die in a car accident over and over. I was grieving my mom and it was the most horrible emotional pain I ever knew. I didn't know I could feel that. I'm usually so withdrawn, but this scared me. Now I'm thinking about the day my mom does die. I won't be able to handle that. I have no one, I will be so alone. She is the only one who is somewhat special to me, as she is the only one I was grieving. That was traumatic, but only I nightmare.

Haven't been able to update you guys for awhile been with my friend :) he is doing great I love him and am very happy that he is back

I feel like this empty hollow piece of pottery I feel so numb to pain but so fragile. Every simple task requires exceeding amount of effort, every ounce of my body aches, I can't get to sleep anymore because I can't even escape reality by sleep anymore because I keep on having nightmares so graphic I wake up shaking, I feel so useless and what I'm feeling is not real and I'm just a lazy piece of shit but then sometimes I feel like I can't close my eyes and die because it will get better but that's so rare it barely happens anymore and I don't know what to do I feel so lost

Either my antidepressants and mood stabilizers are working, or I had a breakthrough, or hey, maybe both. But I finally feel great!

@impartialComputer9780, way to go! Recovery is a bendy road of ups and downs, but it doesn't mean you can't appreciate the good days ^^; Enjoy the moment and spread the good vibes around!

*high fives*

Today I was almost kissed by someone I love but I got so afraid and anxious that I rejected the kiss and now I feel like crap I feel so awful and I still can't seem to calm down

@theuglyduck i understand ur feeling, this feeling suck.... but at some point you own ur self to stop this thinking regretting bkaming ur self cycle. And if you truly believe in love then definitely another chance will come and this time you will be mentally prepared and excited about it and it will be the right time for it bcuz nothing happens unless it is the right time for it to happen.

I really hope ur feelings will be better soon. Hugs

It's a middle of the night in my place. I had an exam early in the morning for which I didn't prepare. I had a day of foggy, heavy thoughts after another insomnia episode. My dorm neighbours are indecently loud and just a moment ago there was a fire alarm, because someone didn't posses minimal cooking skills.

I don't want to complain, just figured out that maybe writing about it here will help a bit. I think I will return to reading the notes. Sending all of you my biggest hugs, lovelies. You and I are not alone in this dark night.

@Celaeno I'm sorry u had this rough night, all these elements can be very annoying....

About the exam i really hope you will calm down and give your brain a fair chance to relax and recall the information stored earlier on it :)

You are absolutely not alone dearest Celaeno ever hugging you tightly in this dark night till we witness the light together

@politeCup86, thanks, lovely ^^ I actually did rather good on my exams, but still had a little sleep. I think I will take it easy today.

Thank you for the kind words. I hope you're feeling good today.

*hugs*

@Celaeno

That is such a GOOOOD news, i'm so glad you did well and about sleeping, yes take it easy dear, maybe you will dream of us :D @discreetAcres6234 @yellowAcres2128 it would be such a fun dream :D i know i might seems crazy but i do dream about 7 cups sometimes hehehe

WARMEST hugs ever to your lovely!

@politeCup86 that's so sweet. I wonder what face I would have in your dreams if I was ever seen as a real person. Or maybe I'm just a sims character. Or a floating username.

I'm glad to hear that you exam went well @Celaeno. I understand how hard it must have been relying on adrenaline and will power to focus and power through the lack of sleep. But you did it :) I hope better days are on the horizon for you.

@discreetAcres6234 Haven't been catching up with you for quite some time dearie... How have you been in your new semester? Which year are you in now by the way? And I may not have known earlier, what is the course of interest you are pursuing now? Sending all my heart with the energy and strength to you love

@yellowAcres2128 my new semester is going well, I'm having a good time. I've been doing oddly good the past few weeks which is strange but a welcome change of mood. I'm in my first year studying Film and Media :) I would love to make movies/tv shows one day. I am in the process of writing a script right now for class, it's fun :D

Thank you sweetie. Love you <3