Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

@forcefulCup5806, it seems like you are really overwhelmed, lovely. I think there is a lot of things going on in your life. That's okay, lovely. You can feel so low and dreadful, but know you are not alone. We are here for you. We care. If you want to talk to any of us, just try 1-on-1 chat with a listener or enter the support rooms. We will shower you with support, wonderful, because you deserve it.

*hugs tightly*

I want to get under my covers curl into a ball and cry my eyes out :(

@FadingAway, sorry that you felt so low yesterday. It is hard to feel on the verge of tears throughout the day. Still, sometimes letting yourself to cry is really helpful and can relieve you from pressure for a while. And it is worth this little moment of while.

I hope today was better. Sending you lots of hugs, lovely!

confused....I know this feeling is coming. How could I possibly have been happy for three days in a row with no headaches? Idk If I can actually feel it or if I want to feel it - has it become my security blanket?

@Elinxs27, sorry to hear that your head decided to hurt you. Headaches are pesky and frustrating and can ruin a perfect day just because they obscure our vision. It's a hard thing to get by and if it's chronic, it really makes life harder.

Still, I hope you feel a bit better now and can enjoy the peace of silence. Sending you best wishes!

I've had such a hard time with just everything in life. It's like everything is hitting me. I am repeatedly being shot by bullets begging for everyone to cease fire but I have too many holes in my body. And I'm empty. Everything seems to be crashing down. I'm finding myself losing hope. All the strength that I thought I had has vanished and I can't push through. I'm in a hole. I've stuck my hand out for days hoping someone would grab it. But nobody showed up. So now I've given up. There is no longer a need for me to be here. I do not want to be here. I'm alone. And can't be helped.

@nicolecamposm, I'm sorry that you feel that way, lovely. It must be really hard for you. I want to hug you tightly and draw all of your pain from your mind, heart, and body, so you could feel at rest, even if only for a little while.

Can I make somehow this passing minutes a bit better for you? Would you like some kind of a distraction? Maybe soothing sounds? Show? Or a song? ? A cute live animal feed? A game? A relaxing video? Or would you like to talk to me? I'm not a listener, but still I care about you. I'd love to ease your heartache, help you carry this unbearable weight, because you don't deserve it.

Sending soft pillows, a blanket, a bright night sky and stars for you to admire. Hugs!

I'm done. I give up. I've reached out for help so many times that I can't do it again. I'm clearly not ment to be helped.

I'm so tired of fighting this losing battle.im just done.

@ilikeyellow, it's okay to feel tired, lovely. Pretending to be tougher than our struggles and indifferent to them can be exhausting. But you don't have to always stand tall. You can lay down, you can rest, you can let go and listen to the beating of your own heart. You can doubt and be afraid. You can reach out to us and talk about the turmoil in your head. It's okay. You can be in pain, but you don't have to suffer. It's okay.

We are here for you. We will listen.

*hugs*

Hi I like yellow

Wondering how you are going? Please write back. Looking forward to hearing from you!

friend from Canada

Yes and no. I have heaps of people that say they want to help. 3 weeks back I was admitted to hospital because I'm that depressed. Still nothing has been done.

I just can't keep reaching out.

Wonderful @ilikeyellow, I'm glad that you reach out to us. You are overwhelmed with your state and feel abandoned by the world, but you are not alone. We care about you, lovely.

It must be very difficult for you. Would you like to tell us more about your hospitalisation? Are the doctors are taking care of you, prescribing you meds, any therapy? How are you feeling right now? If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. We are here for you either way.

I'd love to hear more from you. Depression is gut-wrenching, but it doesn't mean we have to face it by ourselves. You are brave and strong by fighting for so long without company, but you have our support now. We are here with you.

*hugs you tightly*

Hey everyone on this thread or subscribed to it, I have been through death of immediate family members,mental health issues and basically hell and back. But I live by this Japanese quote:- Fall down seven times, rise up eight. Dont give up. If u fail get up try again.:)

Thank you, @PhoenixRise, for sharing this quote with us. It is quite inspiring ^^

Wishing you a splendid day, darling!

honestly, i have no idea what to say in this kind of question, and since yesterday i was thinking if i should join this community or what. i just typed "what to do if you want to be alone and not bothered by anyone else" in google. and i was shocked that most of the links showed up is about depression. i thought i was just lonely or had self-pity or just punishing myself. i don't share this to my friends or my family. i know they can't understand me because i can't understand myself. i accepted everything in my life already. i am hopeless, i am worthless, i am a failure, i am nothing. yep, that's how i'm feeling today.

@BooWrath I am so happy that you decided to join this site as a member and post on this forum, that takes a HUGE amount of courage. You mentioned that you don't want your family to know. My family doesn't know about my depression either and I've been hiding it for a while. Trust me, it does more harm than good to keep it all inside. If you don't want to tell your parents, how about someone else you trust?

You also mentioned that you feel hopeless, worthless, failure, etc. You might have thoughts like you're not (blank) enough, and that is very common with people with depression. I know these thoughts like to mess with your head and make you think less of yourself but you are strong. You did so very much today even if all you did was breathe. You are enough. You're worth something, you can be helped, if you just reach out. I know that it's so, very hard to talk to someone about all this pain but you can do it. I know it. It doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or next week, but if you want to reach out then I strongly recommend you do just that <3

Broken.

I feel like everything I've worked so hard on has just been ripped from me. My "boyfriend" turned on me and started calling me names.. I'm still not altogether sure it was him..but I have basically cried for the past few days. And it sucks

@lovingPine3496, lovely, you feel terrible, because your boyfriend said awful things to you. You don't deserve that, regardless of the context of the situation. It's okay to cry, darling, because you were hurt. It's fine, you are fine, the pain will pass. We will stay with you and wait and support you. You are not alone.

Sending you lots of comforting hugs to ease your heartaches.

I feel nothing. im just empty inside.

@blueVase4357, oh, the numbness, I know it wel.. Sometimes I cannot decided if I prefer the waves of pain and dread or the absolute freezing silence from my mind, as if it is impossible to break out from the void. Nothingness is terrifying. Still, you are more than it. You are still with us, reaching out to us and telling us about your heartaches. It is enough.

Best wishes, wonderful! Remember that we are here for you if you want to talk.

since early Sunday morning..i haven't been ok. I was on my way back from an event in Wisconsin..im sitting on the bus planning to sleep..i put my earbuds in and blast my music. all the sudden i start crying, briefly..but still. Monday I tried talking to him (My "boyfriend") and got no response. the previous day I got a message saying not to involve him....im still confused as to what that meant. Later that night i sent him another message saying i missed him. He said he didn't care. that threw me wayyyyy off. this was the same guy who told me that he "loved" me and he doesn't care about me all the sudden. I ask if he's being serious..cause sometimes he'll play around like that...but still something was off. he said "yeah, why would I?" at this point im already crying again. i responded saying i guess he has no reason to if he doesn't care anymore. then he was relieved that i finally understood..which i still actually don't. "I thought you were a complete dumba**". its always a joy when the person who you confess your feelings to miraculously just turns on you out of nowhere. yeah it happens to me A LOT but everyone tells me not to give up..or that it wont help anything. I tell him that i'm crying and that he made me cry.."keep crying c*nt"

WOW. i have respected you since the day we met..and this is what i get? Im seriously curious as to what happened over the weekend while i was outta town..i didn't do anything..we hardly talked to be honest..i hardly talked to anyone. he hasn't shown up to school consecutively in so long..i am already worried..but i feel i should break things off (even though it was barely a relationship) and just do my best to move on. as much as i don't want to..i kinda have to for myself...so i don't feel like staying in bed all day or starving myself again because i literally have no motivation to get out of my bed. failing all my classes because i don't do anything but sleep in class (which im not doing because good grades and such are my ticket to freedom) but its so tempting to just give up and not care about anything. to become a recluse. to maybe communicate with one person. to sit around and watch all my friends disperse because i can no longer put my masks on everyday...becuase i shed tears everyday. I need to-- I want to get better..i want to actually be with someone who actually cares about me, who wont hurt me..

im sorry for this...im just really upset and my thoughts are jumbled..

@pine *hugs you x9000*

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm certain that you deserve a lot better that what you're "boyfriend" is currently treating you. :-( I know it's very difficult for you just now, but you DO deserve someone who'll treat you like a queen, who'll make you happy.

@TaylorTheLemonSlayer i know there's something up. i talked to a couple friends and showed them the texts..and she said that doesn't even sound like him. He has never talked to me that way. I've done nothing but love him and all the sudden i get this random hate. Like.....no....i need to investigate this. Until he comes back and i cant actually talk to him

I've had a relationship end like that. Being dropped cold like that hurts. A lot. It's not something that you can easily get over either. I know it will be hard (an understatement for sure), but I hope you will get through this. I hope you find someone better, or something better, to take your mind away from the pain. You deserve happiness.

I'm mostly just feeling exhausted. I just want to leave work, go home and crawl in my bed. I've also been wondering if maybe I have some sort of PTSD due to being sexually abused at a young age, because it has been on my mind a lot lately and I can't stop thinking about it :/

@brittanystrang, lovely, it must be really overwhelming for you to realize having this experience. I cannot imagine your confusion and pain, but know you are not alone. You have every right to cry, to feel exhausted. You need time and support, and we can provide you the latter. We care about you. We will listen.

I encourage you to connect with one of the many great listeners in our community, who are verified and will provide the best care for you. You don't have to procces the news alone. We can help you cope with it.

Let me know how are you feeling today. Sending you all of my strength, wonderful!

Really dysphoric and bad.

Parents asked me today why my Facebook pronouns were set to he/him (I'm a transgender ftm)

@neozal, sorry to hear that you feel so bad. Confronting your parents must be really hard. Would you like to tell us more about it? Did you tell them a truth about yourself?

I hope you feel a bit better today. If you want to talk, we'd love to listen, lovely. We care about you. You deserve the support.

By the way, are you familiar with our trans support forums? There are lots of young people who have similar experiences as yourself and can relate and help you. You are not alone, lovely.

Sending you all of my love!

i feel like killing myself. or at least severe harm resulting in hospitalization. my parents just don't get it.

Parents don't ever get it I swear your not alone And I hope you have a beautiful day

Hi Gentlegrspes, My parents didn't understand at first either. But I went to the hospital and started medication and over time they grew to understand'. Please know that your parents still love you even though they don't understand yet. Can you call your family doctor and get an appointment ? Is there another adult like a teacher a coach who you could talk to if your parents still are having trouble understanding? If you can't get a doctors appointment very soon it would be a good idea to go the hospital. Please write back. This is not at all your fault. You can get treated and you will get better. Until your parents understand I will be your mum ok? I understand. Hugs!

Lol that moment when you realize that the majority of any type of relationship you have with another person likely consists of you thinking they may care but really they are just putting up with your existence and don't give 2 sh*ts

@Smsmsm123, it sounds like you have a heavy heart right now. Would you like to tell us more about your relationships problems, lovely? We are here to listen to you.

Best wishes, wonderful!

Its Funny how I will likely not get into college. But then again I probably will and probably think this b/c i just like ripping myself apart

@Smsmsm123, school applications are very high-stressing activity. You doubt yourself, lovely, but until you would officially know where are you standing on, there is really no point to that. I don't know your situation, but I know that anxiety can eat up our whole mind.

We can help you find your pieces and pick yourself up. We are here for you.

Lots of hugs!

Lol like always life is s**t

I feel like life is meaningless. My Life IS meaningless. I'm stuck in this endless cycle of depression. I don't even know myself. I'm nearly 21 years old and I have nothing to show for it. I honestly believe that the only reason I'm still alive is because I can't bring myself to end my own life. So I'm just stuck here gradually getting worse as time goes on. I've got self-diagnosed disorders that cause me to push away anyone that tries to get close. No one knows what I'm going through. They wouldn't understand and likely wouldn't care enough to make an honest attempt to help. And I'd only be a burden to them. The only way I could imagine this cycle to end would be if a miracle were to happen, but sadly life isn't made of fairy tales. I am the problem. And since I can't help being myself, I'm never going to get better. I don't belong here yet I cannot leave.

I feel you, dude.

It's like you're fighting yourself all the time. There's that one part of you that desperately wants to fit in and keep people you care about close, but then there's this other side that either can't be bothered or gets too scared, so ends up pushing everyone out.

I've been feeling lately that maybe it's in my nature to be alone, I guess thinking about it, I would be more than happy to live in the woods by myself..... But there are all these people that I care about and I want to let them in but I don't understand how to.

It's so fucking lonely.

Sorry, I know this isn't helpful at all but I guess it could be comforting to know that you're not on your own in feeling like you don't belong anywhere.

I feel completely useless and alone. nothing interests me anymore. I am awful at everything. I wish I had some sort of talent or ability. all I'm good at is feeling sorry for myself.

@rmw98, depression can really strips out our personality and leave us only with bare bones. It is terrifying. But it can also be a place of new beginnings for us. If you feel useless, find your work. Find something where you can show up and do good. If you'd liek that, we can all help you to brainstorm ideas.

You don't have to let the depression define you. You are far brighter than this darkness.

All my love, lovely!