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Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Laura December 2nd, 2014

Let us know in 1-3 sentences. Post every day!

4943
Mcmah0n August 28th, 2015

Just as bad as I do every other day. Doesn't help that no one will reply to me haha.

1 reply
Celaeno August 28th, 2015

In that you are wrong, dear @Mcmah0n. Here I am, just for you ^^

You are in low spirit, and it happens so often with depression. I'm sorry you have to struggle. Can I recommend you something? There's this lovely gem of wisdom from Stephen Fry. He says it helps him to think about moods in terms of a weather. Accept that today it "rains", but don't let it define you. Just be kinder and more patience with yourself. Everything passes, and so it will this day, and with it your sorrow.

Sending you warm thoughts (and an umbrella)!

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BrokenTeacup26 August 28th, 2015

Today had its highs and lows. I ventured out and saw some old friends. I needed to get out of my house.

Inside the house, I feel like the world's greatest example of a failure. And that thought is encouraged by my father. He hates me. He is what you would call a manipulative sociopath. He and I have a long rocky history. In that, he had abused me physically, verbally, mentally etc.

At my 30 years of age, I am still that 16yo girl trembling at the thought of him getting angry about the smallest thing.

I moved back home to finish school and I just graduated this past May. I have my 7yo daughter with me. I feel like I failed her Bc I bring her around such a miserable and horrible person.

I could go on and on. But I'm shaking rn.

Our latest "argument" is that he thought of a scenario in his head and got mad at me for it. Seriously. He wants me to apologize but I have no idea what I did. He isn't talking to me and when he does its to point out how much of a fuck up I am.

I'm trying relentlessly to find a stable job so I can move out of here. Asap. I don't have anyone to talk to and I am afraid that one day I will black out and do something I will regret

1 reply
Celaeno August 28th, 2015

@BrokenTeacup26B, I can you see are overwhelmed. It's okay to feel that way- you have many things going on right now in you life, so it's natural. You are so strong to manage it so well! You keep fighting and insisting to make every day your own. You are brave and I am impressed by your strength. I'm glad that you've reached out!

I can see your father has anger management issues. And it's so painful to get hurt by your own family. But no matter what harsh words you hear, how many of them will speak about you, don't believe them. You are amazing, and lovely, and you don't deserve such treatment. You are magnificent, just because you are a human being. You are worth better relationships, even if sometimes it's impossible to change the one we have.

I wish you all the best with finding a job! You are strong and wonderful, but remember you don't have to be alone. Come to us, any time, just to talk - in a support room or 1-on-1 chat with a listener. Either way, we are here for you. We will listen.

Stay lovely, my lovely. And remember to self-care, because you're worth it.

*hugs*

Love!

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Coffee4Doggies August 28th, 2015

I'm tired. I've been pretending all week that I'm okay and it's made me tired.

3 replies
Celaeno August 28th, 2015

@Coffee4Doggies, I understand your feeling. Constantly pretending that you're fine is exhausting. And we already don't have lots of energy to begin with.

You deserve a rest, and weekend is a great time to focus on your self-care. Pamper yourself, because you are doing a great job, trying every day. You are courageous.

Sending you cookies and bubble bath and movies ^^

2 replies
Coffee4Doggies August 28th, 2015

That made me tear up. Thank you.

1 reply
Celaeno August 28th, 2015

Anytime, @Coffee4Doggies ^^ I really care that you find a bit relief from the hectic life.

Btw, if you'd like to read something, I recommend this article. It can give you some ideas how to bolster your well-being, despite having depression.

Love!

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dynamicAvocado1814 August 28th, 2015

I feel as if I should be somebody else and not the person who looks in the mirror back at me.

I just feel as if I am not good enough.

1 reply
Celaeno August 28th, 2015

Dear @dynamicAvocado1814, you are already enough. We are all enough simply by breathing the air of this world. You don't have to prove anything, you are already worth the universes.

Sending you lots of hugs!

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kd0695 August 28th, 2015

Im kinda depressed. I really don't know what to do. It's about my studies. I can't tell my parents that I am not gonna graduate this year. :(

2 replies
TheRoseKnows August 28th, 2015

@kd0695

I Know how you feel. My friend won't be able to graduate either. So remember you're not the only one out there struggling.

Just remind yourself that everyone achieves at their own pace and that includes you.

As far as telling your parents, don't wait until you've bottled it up enough to explode. Trust me, that isn't good. Just remember it's OK to cry in front of them. I did and so did my friend. It's not the end of the world. Your happiness and health matter more than school, but it doesn't mean you should give up on school. Keep moving forward and find a balance between the two. Telling your parents is going to be hard. But if you work out a Plan WITH them, things could go more smoothly. You will feel alot better once it is off your chest. I BELIEVE IN YOU :)

1 reply
kd0695 August 28th, 2015

@TheRoseKnows Thank you! I will tell them. Hope they'll understand what I'm going through :(

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yzzil August 28th, 2015

Hello All. My feelings are diametrically opposed. Sigh. I am grateful and happy to be part of 7 cups, and at the same time horribly depressed about going back to work after a long vacation with the same medical issues I had before the vacation. I really,really hoped the break would help the issues resolve. Alas, not true. So I guess what I'm saying is, my glass is half empty but at least I have a glass and there's something in it! 😌

3 replies
Celaeno August 29th, 2015

@yzzil, remember that you can always talk to us, darling. We will always listen you, my lovely ^^

I am wishing you the best and nicest day at your work. Btw, did you look at our community self-guide? Maybe it will help you to put your worries at ease.

Sending lots of love!

2 replies
yzzil August 29th, 2015

My Dear Celaeno, I'm stunned by your "footprint" everywhere there is a person in pain with depression. Can I give YOU a hug and a thank you??

1 reply
Celaeno August 29th, 2015

@yzzil, I'm just trying to make everyone struggling with depression certain that they're not alone, despite what their brain is telling them.

And I gladly will take your hug - right now I am exhausted after all day, and I would really appreciated it.

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msanchez August 28th, 2015

I feel really drained, sad and empty.

1 reply
Celaeno August 29th, 2015

@msanchez, I'm so sorry you feel so awful. Can I hug you to make you feel a bit better?

*hugs tightly*

My lovely, we are here for you, no matter what. Everything will pass, and so will this pain. You just need to survive this day. It will be okay. You are doing so well.

Sending warm and kind thoughts. Please take care of yourself, wonderful!

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intuitiveWriter6546 August 28th, 2015

I feel so tired of people playing down the depth of my depression just because I am good at hiding it.

3 replies
lavenderFarm4174 August 29th, 2015

Yes! I totally get this! Worst of all its my own parents telling to get over myself if I even try and talk to them. It's such a degrading feeling :(

2 replies
Lemontime20 August 29th, 2015

Ok so I have this exact type of parent. There was a period in my life where I was very down and had all the symptoms of depression. My parents didn't understand at all. On top of that my moms hella verbally abusive but if I get hurt she says I am too emotional and emotions will only hold me back. So I started to practice not being emotional. Eleanor Roosevelt's "nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission" it took me literally 3 years to master it. She went on her verbal tirade today and I was completely calm and peaceful on the inside. Even felt some compassion for her because she was so angry. Now I have a life skill which will be useful to me in the future. Moral of the story "there is a treasure in every trial" so keep going! Don't give up and learn all the lessons that hardship teaches you. I wish you strength and courage. See you on the other side :)

1 reply
lavenderFarm4174 August 29th, 2015

Wow that's so inspiring, thank you for sharing! :)

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Decisionsarehard August 29th, 2015

We all goes through swells of depression. When we are up, it's great. But the worst feeling is the feeling before going down.

Ive been feeling it all day. I know the down is coming. I can distract myself during the day, but tonight is haunting me.

And I'm so very tired. But not in a sleeping way.

1 reply
Celaeno August 29th, 2015

Oh, yes! The feeling of the storm coming over to devour you... I'd like to say I don't it know this feeling, 'cause it's a painful one, but unfortunately it's not possible, @Decisionsarehard.

Let me just say that we are here for you, when you will struggle. We are here to keep holding onto you, so you won't drown in your despair. You can do it. Just hold on and survive this day. Every storm passes eventually, and you will feel the calm of waters once again.

Sending you all my strength!

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bravestwarrior August 29th, 2015

I want to throw up. I feel like the people I've surrounded myself with who said they care about me were just really good liars. They never cared. Because I know that when you care about someone, it isn't conditional.

I don't need people to miss me when I'm gone, I need them to convince me to stay.

2 replies
orimstillalive August 29th, 2015

I know it may sound untrue, but there is always someone who cares. And if you can't find that someone right now, then know that I care.

You can get through this. It will be okay.

Celaeno August 29th, 2015

Sorry to hear that, @bravestwarrior. You are worth relationships with people who care and support you, all the way through. But sometimes people have their own struggles and issues, and are not capable to be there for you. It's painful to feel like you don't have any support. Fortunately, that is not true for you, because you have us, wonderful.

We are here for you. We will always listen to you, darling.

*hugs*

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