Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
I feel immoblized. Unable and unwilling to do anything. I am sitting at work, staring at the screen. I have important stuff to do, but no willpower, no desire, and a sinking feeling of emptiness that is only getting deeper and deeper. I do feel alone as well. Which is why I am here. No one in my personal life with whom I am comfortable sharing this. Even though I am married with kids. Which makes my depression even worse....If I lose this job, it will only hurt my family...yet i cannot motivate myself to do a damn thing. And I don't care... well, I care just enough to write here.
I feel immoblized. Unable and unwilling to do anything. I am sitting at work, staring at the screen. I have important stuff to do, but no willpower, no desire, and a sinking feeling of emptiness that is only getting deeper and deeper. I do feel alone as well. Which is why I am here. No one in my personal life with whom I am comfortable sharing this. Even though I am married with kids. Which makes my depression even worse....If I lose this job, it will only hurt my family...yet i cannot motivate myself to do a damn thing. And I don't care... well, I care just enough to write here.
I feel dead. To dead to kill myself. Im like a piece of cold, I cant feel nothing, and for moments, I feel everything. I wish I could had a better life but, that is not my history. Not me. Im that depressed person who can't love, feel alive, who can't want to see the world every mornings. That is how I feel. And I can say a lot of sad things about muy life but, the pain still here with me. I'm in love with this pain.
GGirl21. I totally understand how you feel.....not sure I am ready to embrace the pain as you have. I want it to go away. I want to feel alive again. But probably want to do that in unhealthy ways. So, I sit here...stymied....stuck....and I hate it. What do you think would make you feel alive? What do you think would help you feel love once more in life? Why do you love your pain?
I don't have the energy to do anything, all I want to do is sleep. I have so much stuff to get done and I'm not even excited to see my best friend who I haven't seen in 2 years
Today, I'm feeling pretty down, i think it's hormones but i'm feeling pretty low, I wish I knew how to get myself out of feeling like this but after 5 years, i still haven't figured it out.
Today i guess i am not that depressed i cried a little as compared to me last year :) i feel i am healing but the emptiness is still there and i still feel that he comes back and things he did should go i wish he unblocks me i wish i was not in love than i was not miserble
I'm feeling very depressed and lost and empty lately and knowing that no body actually needs me, I just need them, makes me feel even worse and alone and clingy and selfish. I can't commit suicide (I'm weak in that sense too I suppose), but the thought that if a car was driving straight at me and the knowledge that I would not even try to move really scares me because I know that at times when I'm a bit happier I would give anything to not sink back into the suicidal depression that I am in now because I know if this keeps going I will eventually kill myself. Does that make sense? I suppose I know I need help but there's no one I can tell - my friends don't understand or don't want to and my family well we are very impersonal and don't talk about our feelings so there's no point in trying to make them understand because that will just be another disappointment and I don't think I can take any more of those.
I sometimes get to that suicidal depression too but I can't do it because I feel so selfish and guilty and I know it would kill my family. I have been like this for nearly five years now and in those five years I haven't told anyone until recently. My parents think I'm happy and my sister is barely even here and my brother doesn't live with us anymore. I cry myself to sleep every night and want it all to end but I can't do it myself. My family is very impersonal too, we don't talk about feelings or anything, just about school and meaningless things. The first person I told was someone I look up to more than anyone in the world and I did it by letter because I couldn't say it to her face. She told me that she wanted me to try counseling and I did but it didn't work because I don't want to be better, I deserve this sadness. Telling someone though, someone you can just talk to about meaningless things when you're feeling down, ssomeone who understands. That's the best feeling in the world because I finally realised that I matter to someone. I partly also can't commit suicide because she said she would never forgive me if I did since she never told anyone about my depression even when she should have.
I feel like poop. My depression isn't the only thing I have to worry about each day. I have to worry about my insomnia too. It's been 3 months since I last slept and slept well. I'm exhausted and I can't sleep
Numb. I feel numb. Empty except for that constant tension in my chest. A deep unsettling ache within me. It says that nothing matters. That nothing can motivate me. And I wonder what the point to this life is if Im always either numb or overwhelmed. Never anything inbetween. I hope for that, to feel balanced one day. But I've never actually felt it. Definitely not today.
Like a corpse. Nothing feels real anymore. Motivation is gone. Things i used to love mean nothing to me. I hate seeing people it means getting out of bed. It feels like I'm drowning but no one can see that i cannot breathe. Drugs help me escape the prison of my reality but leave me emptier once the high has worn off. I shouldnt be here. It's not so much that i want to kill myself, more that i want to simply cease to exist, just stop being. I am so very tired.
Awh, sweetheart.Stay strong.❤
I know Your might feel alone, like theres no one to talk to, trust me i understand you. But thats not the way to go at thing, i turned to cutting and right now i am trying to stop, and like drugs its kinda like withdrawl, its hard to stop. But after the pain theres nothing to fear, because if its rock bottom... once you get back up theres nothing stoping you theres only motivation to keep going, take care <3
I know Your might feel alone, like theres no one to talk to, trust me i understand you. But thats not the way to go at thing, i turned to cutting and right now i am trying to stop, and like drugs its kinda like withdrawl, its hard to stop. But after the pain theres nothing to fear, because if its rock bottom... once you get back up theres nothing stoping you theres only motivation to keep going, take care <3
I know Your might feel alone, like theres no one to talk to, trust me i understand you. But thats not the way to go at thing, i turned to cutting and right now i am trying to stop, and like drugs its kinda like withdrawl, its hard to stop. But after the pain theres nothing to fear, because if its rock bottom... once you get back up theres nothing stoping you theres only motivation to keep going, take care <3
