does anyone else not have one picture of a parent holding you as a child who was present in your life?
I’m 53 and this just hit me hard. Both of my parents were in the home. One was loving, one was extremely abusive parent physically and emotionally. I don’t have one photo that shows my abusive mother holding me, hugging me or anything a mother should do to show love and care as a child. Even as an infant. Not one photo of her holding me or showing affection. There are pictures of her and my siblings…not one of me. Days like today with flashbacks and memories like this hit hard. Having a tough day. Can anyone else relate to this?
@creativeAvocado772
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s clear that you’re grappling with some deep and painful emotions related to your childhood, especially concerning your relationship with your mother. It must feel incredibly heavy to reflect on the absence of those nurturing moments, especially when it seems like you’ve been left out in so many ways.
Not having any photos of your mother holding you or showing affection can intensify feelings of neglect, and it's understandable that this would bring up feelings of sadness, anger, or even confusion. It’s a loss that resonates deeply, and it’s completely valid to feel the impact of that absence. The moments we associate with love and care shape our sense of self, and when those are missing, it can leave a profound sense of longing.
When those memories and flashbacks hit, it can be overwhelming. It’s important to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is real and significant. You’re not alone; many people who have faced similar experiences can relate to the emotional weight of longing for connection and affection that wasn’t there.
On days when you feel particularly low, consider carving out some time for self-reflection. You might find it helpful to write about your feelings or even express them through art or music. This can be a powerful way to process what you’re experiencing and to give voice to your emotions. Allowing yourself to feel and express those feelings can be a step toward healing.
Connecting with supportive friends or communities can also help. Sharing your story with those who understand can create a sense of belonging and lessen the feelings of isolation. There’s something incredibly healing about knowing that others have walked similar paths.
In moments of grief, try to engage in small acts of self-care. This could be something as simple as taking a walk in nature, enjoying a favorite meal, or listening to music that resonates with your emotions. Giving yourself permission to feel joy, even amidst the sadness, can be a gentle reminder that you are worthy of care and love.
Please be patient with yourself during this process. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to navigate these feelings at your own pace. Remember, you deserve kindness and compassion—both from those around you and from within. It’s okay to seek comfort and connection; you are deserving of love, especially in these challenging moments.
Thank you for the kind words. It still tough and I’m finding this is not common. There are lots of people who have unfortunately had parent leave and not be there for their kids which is awful, but it’s probably as tough when a parent is present physically but not emotionally. I don’t think many people can relate in the same way. To be seen but not heard, present but not loved.
@creativeAvocado772 I can relate. I read this when you first posted it but I needed to check a few things. There are pictures of me with my parents. Usually standing but there aren't any that I can find of either of them holding me or hugging or even with me sitting on their lap, not as an infant or a toddler or older. I'm an only child so I have no siblings to compete with
Im so very sorry you’ve dealt with this too. It’s really tough to deal with especially as an only child. Did the realization hit you as well all of a sudden?
@creativeAvocado772 Thank you. I'm so sorry for what you've missed out on and dealt with too
It didn't really hit until I read your post. I knew my parents were abusive and neglectful but I thought there might be pictures. So I went through what I have and there was pictures of me but never being held or hugged by either of them
It hits kind of hard but I feel like I shouldn't be surprised that there aren't any