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creativeAvocado772
1 29,451 M Determined Treads
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts2,897 Forum posts48 Forum upvotes47 Current upvotes47 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceMay 30, 2021
Recent forum posts
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So frustrated with health care
Depression Support / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I am scheduled for surgery in 6 days and have been going back and forth with insurance and the surgical center to find out today, the doctor is covered but the surgical center isn’t. I have blue cross and am so friggin depressed about this. I have to spend nearly 12k a year with a 3k deductible and am in so much pain and have been for over a year. Got diagnosed with spinal stenosis and have basically no cushion between L5 and S1 and what I have is herniated…. Probably from years of running m1/2 marathons and 1 full to be “healthy”. I am so frustrated. I want be able to get through a night without waking up in pain. The US healthcare system needs reform. People shouldn’t have to go into debt for care.
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does anyone else not have one picture of a parent holding you as a child who was present in your life?
Depression Support / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 September 26th, 2024
...See more I’m 53 and this just hit me hard. Both of my parents were in the home. One was loving, one was extremely abusive parent physically and emotionally. I don’t have one photo that shows my abusive mother holding me, hugging me or anything a mother should do to show love and care as a child. Even as an infant. Not one photo of her holding me or showing affection. There are pictures of her and my siblings…not one of me. Days like today with flashbacks and memories like this hit hard. Having a tough day. Can anyone else relate to this?
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Done with meeting people online
Relationship Stress / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 March 25th, 2024
...See more Over the past couple of years I developed what I thought were close, valid friendships online. When in reality I met narcissists, catfishers, users and phonies. I think I’m angry at myself for trusting them and pouring my heart into those relationships and with many helping them reach goals. I am so done with social media. I feel like I wasted nearly 4 years of my life to people who in really could give two *** about you. Anyone else in the same boat?
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Struggling
Depression Support / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 September 3rd, 2023
...See more Im having a really tough time lately. I have PTSD and dealing with flashbacks. Was severely abused as a child physically and emotionally. The emotional abuse continued until my abuser died 5 years ago. All of the things that have occurred in my life on top of that (big things) are coming to the surface. I had a therapist and it worked well for me but due to financial reasons I had to stop for a while. I’ve recently was involved in a friend group where I was just being used and finally backed off but situations there triggered things from my childhood because of a particular person manipulating then gaslighting me and I cared for that person more than I should have. I’m spiraling a bit…. Realizing the traumas that have occurred through the abuse and other traumatic experiences are compiling. Having a really hard time dealing with it. I’m redirecting my thoughts but these past couple of days redirection isn’t working. Any suggestions from others who have had similar situations would be really appreciated right now.
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Why do people push others away?
Relationship Stress / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 April 12th, 2023
...See more I have this person that I thought we were close as friends and over time I found she was not who she claimed to be and pushed myself and others that deeply cared for them away. I would have done anything for this person and never badmouthed her after we had a disagreement (although with their trust issues in people probably thinks otherwise). They have pushed everyone in the community of people we hung out with away. Why do people do this? It seems that their intentions were only to use people for their own gain and had no intention on developing deep relationships with others. If this is the case, don’t act like you care if you’re going to do this. It causes so much harm to those on the other end. It’s been over a year and still want to help them but what was done in the last fallout (ghosting, etc) for something I did not do has pushed me to a point that has really hurt me deeply in negative ways. I went into a severe depressive episode. For those who avoid emotional intimacy, it can severely impact others who care about you in ways you will probably never comprehend.
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Had a tough night
Trauma Support / by creativeAvocado772
Last post
 November 21st, 2022
...See more I’ve dealt with depression and ptsd which has gotten worse since the death of my abusive parent. I am finally able to talk about things without consequences. The abuse was severe physical and emotional abuse. I have no contact with my family because of their denial of the abuse and lack of emotional support. Spent a great part of my life hiding what I went though and people out the outside would see me as confident. I’m having a really tough time and last night I overindulged in drinks. I tend to avoid alcohol when I am that depressed but I didn’t and went overboard. Paid for it today. I know the ptsd will not go away and I’ll have to learn to cope my entire life by managing it in healthy ways. Ive been feeling really down lately and worry about my future because I have a husband with health issues and he is not social. I’ve been working from home and feel isolated and honestly don’t have much support outside of online friends. I also had to end a friendship with One of those friends who I held in high regard because of instances where it began to be a one way relationship where I was always putting their needs before my own and when we would disagree about something and I’d share my feelings of being hurt she would gaslight or spin it back on me so much that it became abusive in the way she would talk down to me. Triggering flashbacks of my abusive parent. I worry about my future. I still miss them a lot even after all that has happened as well. We had some really good times. I feel very isolated with no support system and finding it really hard to cope. I am working with a therapist who has been helpful but still struggle a lot.
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