Weekly Prompt #21: Are you feeling the weight of seasonal depression during the holidays?
Welcome back, group! I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: If you could do anything tomorrow, it would be________ (Complete the sentence) Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you
This week's prompt: Are you feeling the weight of seasonal depression during the holidays?
Are the winter holidays a time of joy and celebration for you? Or do they bring about feelings of sadness and despair? Seasonal depression is a real and often debilitating condition that affects many individuals during the holiday season. If you or someone you know is struggling with seasonal depression, it's important to seek support and find ways to cope with these difficult emotions.
I wanted to start a discussion on if you could do anything tomorrow. Big or small, mini or tiny, or anything in between, everything counts. Share with us and I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!
Also, please do give a shout-out to @ALeXaNdEr0712 (Teen) who were very thoughtful about this topic and shared it with me, so we can have a discussion on this to support each other!
Join us in the 24/7 Depression Support Group Chat!
I feel the weight of the holidays on me for sure. I lost my grandfather almost a year ago on the 23rd of this month and it is weighing on me like a brick house!
@Stitchlover17 I can understand how the holidays would be difficult time as you're remembering your grandfather who passed away almost a year ago. The weight of grief and missing him must feel very heavy on your heart. What memories of your grandfather during the holiday season stand out most in your mind?
Please know you are not alone in feeling the sadness of loss during this time of year. We are all here with you in this.
Well one memory I always think about was before he got too sick to get out of bed. We went over to his house for Halloween and when we arrived he would dump all the Halloween candy out on the table for us and tell us to have at it lol
@Stitchlover17 That memory of your grandfather sharing his Halloween candy with you sounds very special. It is clear how much joy he took in seeing you both enjoy the treats. How does remembering that time with him make you feel now?
It makes me miss him but I’m okay.. he died from metastatic cancer and I’m at peace knowing he’s not suffering anymore
@Stitchlover17 It is understandable you would miss him, as losing someone we care about deeply is incredibly difficult.
It’s not to mention in a four year span I’ve lost like 17 people from June 12, 2019 to October 20th.. all of them were pretty close to me.
@Stitchlover17 that must be incredibly difficult for you, I don't know what to say. Sending hugs if okay ❤️
Thank you mish3l I appreciate it
I'm not really a fan of this time of the year. I struggle with feeling obligated to do family stuff. I want to spend time with them but the struggle comes in with it feeling so forced & unauthentic. I just don't find a whole lot of joy during this time of year & the weather definitely doesn't help the situation any either.
@LittleOne2506 It sounds like family time during this period brings up mixed feelings for you. Reflecting on feeling obligated and lacking authenticity. The weather also doesn't help your mood. Please know you are not alone in struggling with these complex emotions around family and seasons. We are all here with you to listen to and to support. What matters most to you about finding more joy with your family during this time?
I want them to enjoy this time of year & to have fond memories to hold onto. I don't want them to be a bah-humbug like I am... but it would be nice to be able to enjoy it more easily with them rather than feeling like it's some sort of obligation or feeling like I'm not being true to myself. Maybe it's time to start new traditions that don't put so much emphasis on presents. That's where a lot of my struggle lays. I don't need people to buy me things to show they care. I just want to spend quality time with them.
@LittleOne2506 Creating new traditions that focus on quality time together rather than gifts could be a way to feel more at ease. It sounds like finding the right balance during the holidays is important to you. Simply being present with them may be the best gift of all. You clearly care deeply about their happiness.
That I do & thank you for listening. I appreciate you & the 7cups community. 😊
I don't think I have some serious seasonal depression. I mean yes, I miss the warm sun during the winter and just waiting for the spring and summer to come.
But my depression comes and goes whenever it pleases. Today it was my daughter's 3rd birthday and it just came in the morning and hit me like a bus.
@mish3l dealing with depression during important times can be very difficult. How did you feel having those feelings hit you on your daughter's birthday? We are all here with you to listen to and to support. You are not alone in this. <3
@ASilentObserver Hi Obs! I wrote about it in here https://www.7cups.com/forum/depression/General_2427/help_317003/
It was very challenging. I survived 😅
If I could do anything anything I would drive to the ocean and collect shells in the beach
I think I'll feel the weight during the week of Christmas, when every one else is off on vacation, and I'll be working. December will feel like a long month, as I can't wait until for the new year. I hope it'll go by quicker than anticipated, and I hope the colleagues at work will be kinder as we roll into the holiday mode.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk Thank you for sharing how you are feeling about the coming weeks. It sounds like the prospect of working through the holidays while others have time off is weighing on you. You also hope your colleagues will be supportive - is there any way you might reach out to connect with a few of them as the holiday season begins? Please know that your feelings are understandable. I wish you the very best in navigating this time. We are all here with you in this time, Jae
It's difficult to reach out to colleagues, are age difference is too much of a gap. I'm the age of their children. I sometimes feel that they don't quite respect me for who I am, but sees me as a kid. They are almost like a second mother, repeating things to me, telling me what I should do, what needs to be done.. when my observation skills are high enough to notice what needs to be done and don't need them to remind me every time. They don't listen to me, and the things I say are always interpreted wrongly and everything is misunderstood and puts me in a depressive mood. I've avoided speaking to them or striking up conversations, unless they talk to me first.
This December, I'll have to try and focus on my near future and the plans I have for myself. At least, thinking about it, would put a smile on my face. Even if it means I'll need to think about it multiple times during my shift, just so that I don't feel depressed at I work if something upsets me.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk hmm, feeling unseen and misunderstood is difficult. It sounds like working with your colleagues can feel discouraging at times. Please know you are very compassionate and caring person, jae and you trying your best. Keep taking your small steps and be kinder to yourself.
It would be nice if colleagues sees my actions as being compassionate and caring, not the opposite. I feel everyone is so self-centered, only caring about themselves, their own tasks and turns a blind eye to everything else.
I just feel people don't have much common sense. Even if it's not listed as your responsibility, if you see something empty, you'd fill it. Or if you see something too full, you empty it or move it.
That one colleague had mentioned she's a neat and organized person.. but, I guess it's only pertaining to her own things and not the big picture that we're all involved in. I find it difficult working with others when I'm the only one with the OCD mindset. That everything has to be neat, tidy, stock is full, things are facing the same way, etc. What bothers me with facing the same way, are the suture boxes. One side shows English and the other side has Chinese and Japanese characters. That colleague is the one in charge of ordering and opening new boxes when it's low, and it always bothers me when she puts it the way that's not English. I mean, she doesn't know the other two languages and I'm pretty sure that amongst all our staff, no one knows Japanese and only about 3 people, including myself, can read Chinese. The way I think about it, is placing it with the English facing forward is to help nurses find the type they need, and not have a foreign language throw them off. That's the reason aside from the OCD.
It's not all about colleagues seeing me as me, but being able to see the bigger picture. Everyone else in the department, and not having the focus on themselves and their own benefits only.
@Jaeteuk I agree with you, Jae. Consideration for others and having a organized workspace is important elements. It can be frustrating when ways of working don't align. Your care for clarity and team effort is understandable. I hope they able to get this too and have a harmonious and collaborative environment
Obs, I don't think my colleagues will ever understand what Teamwork is, especially that one specific one that is retiring next year. She only does the minimal of which her shift requires her to do, and turns a blind eye to everything else that can be done.
I tried telling my Manager about this last year, that I feel as a Team (we have the same title name), I'm the one that's doing all the supposedly shared tasks, while all the others just do their own parts. That one colleague, there was a time where I asked her for help, and with one sentence as a reply "I was never trained to do that", there's not much I can do about it. But some tasks are common sense, or being considerate of other people, and helping them out. Nowhere on my list of duties does it say that there are tasks I must do, I just do it because to me, it's common sense. And I don't like to turn a blind eye to something, when it's something that I could easily do. Even if it's not entirely my responsibility. For example, when I was doing this colleague's job on her day off, walking past something that was full and needed to be delivered, I'll do it. Either drop what I was doing, or come back to make the delivery. I don't wait for another colleague to do it, when I see that she was busy with something else at that moment. It only takes a few minutes to make the delivery. Or when I walk past a shelf that looks empty of its product, I'll take a few moments to refill it, even if I was walking past as to going for a break. Things like this, I feel it's common sense. You see something running low, you refill it.. you see something that's full, you deliver it.. It's not so much as whoever's duty it is, that only that person will do it..
Or, am I the only one that feels that way? Everyone is just being self-centred and care about their own work/duties/responsibilities, not being kind or considerate of fellow colleagues to even think about helping out with shared tasks?
My idea of teamwork is different than their understanding. Maybe because we're several generations apart, they have their own idea and when I'm at the age where their own children are. I feel that they think it's expected that I do most of the work, as to them, I'm just a kid, someone who's 20-30 years younger than them.
As much as I like this job (a few surgeons, the nurses, and some anesthesiologists, and the meaning and purpose of my job is fulfilling), my colleagues make it difficult for me. But also knowing that all 3 of them will take turns retiring in the next 2 years time, I really have to think about my future. Staying and working with new colleagues that literally hates me, or do a career change and hope for the best. Of course, that career change option, I'm already working on it, just need to hope for the best and that the Cover Letter and Resume I send out next year to that specific company, will accept me and feel my true sincerity to want to work there.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk Thank you for sharing more of your experiences, Jae. I can completely understand how frustrating it must feel to shoulder more responsibilities while others focus only on their specific tasks. That's a lot to manage and juggle. I hope their approach may change over time as new people join, but focusing on communicating your perspective respectfully could help you feel less burdened. You deserve better support as well. You are dedicated to providing excellent patient care despite challenges, and I hope your future brings more support and fulfillment.
@ASilentObserver I always feel bad because my birthday is around the holidays. I wish I could spend it with people, but it's been lonely for seven years. I want it too feel special, not just another day.
@Skyfall8936 I understand this must feel quite lonely and disappointing to spend your birthday around the holidays each year without being able to celebrate it specially with people. You deserve to feel celebrated on your special day. what would help you feel less alone during the day?
@ASilentObserver I guess going out actually seeing people saying happy birthday.
Usually, the sessional depression hits me really hard. For some reason, the hardest it hits me is AFTER the holidays during the dead of winter in January and February. Though, it usually starts around this time.
I'm lucky this year that it's not as horrible this year as the previous years though.
Thank you for the space to share this, stay strong everyone we will make it through.
@understandingCity4795 Thank you for sharing about your experience with seasonal depression. It sounds like the winter months can be especially difficult, but I am glad to hear this year hasn't been as hard so far. What helps you take care of yourself during those times when you feel the depression hitting hardest?
