Stuck in the Void
I feel hollow, as if a black hole was inside me tearing everything apart from me. My heart's so tight, my head's so heavy, my body's numb. I feel paralysed in my thoughts, overthinking, feeling nothing and everything all at once, it hurts. I can't move, though I'd like to get out of bed, like making myself somethin' to eat for example but I can't. I feel so tired, I've lost everything: energy, motivation, creativity, self-esteem, joy, ...
And I don't understand why I feel like that. And it makes me feel even more bad. I don't have such a terrible and complicated life. I feel guilty for feeling bad. And I know what you'll say "it's okay to be not okay", "everyone's experience is valid no matter how small or big their challenges are" and stuff like that but still I feel so ashame, bad and stupid.
I'd like to stop this black hole inside of me but it's getting bigger and bigger over time... And I don't know how to stop it. I'm stuck in the void, even the tiny sparkles and stars I found on the way, that made me feel good for a time, has been swallowed up, lost in the emptyness of space.