Rant
TW. Sorry if I offend anyone with this rant. I’m now back to my home country. And let’s just say, my home does not feel like home at all. I feel like a stranger in this house. I am now even sleeping on the floor because there’s no room for me. There’s always the sound of arguing in this house. My father is a total narcissist and my other family members are as well. So now I talk to them like how I would to strangers… fake smiles and just agree to everything. I don’t feel I belong anywhere, not even on 7 cups. My problems are just mundane problems compared to others. I really wish I could exchange my life for them to have better ones. It pains me that there are others suffering so much more but is still trying their best to live on whilst I am whining about my life. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything to try to get better but nothing helps. And now I’ve given up. I’ve decided to live this life the way it is. Just a while ago, my siblings were mocking about how someone they knew was trying to end it. They say he has no worries and has everything he needs in life but still complaining. They came to the conclusion that that person was just attention seeking. I’ve been hiding my depression from everyone around me for 7 years now. This just made me want to hide it longer. Not like I was going to tell anyone anytime soon. Funny enough, I have scars from cuts on my forearm but I don’t even care about hiding it. It’s because I know no one cares. Even if they knew, I’ll just be shrugged off and mocked. Sorry again for the rant.
Hi @JanusPi
I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. It must be so tough to feel like a total stranger in your own home and dealing with non-stop arguments. It takes real strength to plaster on a fake smile and agree with everything, and I gotta say, I respect you for being able to do that. It sucks that you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, but I want you to know that you're not alone in this struggle. Lots of people have felt isolated and like they don't belong. I get that you've been hiding your depression for a long time, and it's totally understandable that this situation has made you want to hide it even more.
There are people out there who care, who would be willing to listen and support you if you decide to open up. Your feelings are valid and should be acknowledged. Don't hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional for help. You don't have to face this alone 🥰
You are allowed to rant. We all have moments where we want to give up. I am sorry that the pain is so much right now. Your problems aren't mundane and you don't need to compare yourself to anyone else.
But there are lots of people who care here and you can develop a better support network. Have you spoken to a doctor about all of this? @JanusPi
@bestVase7265
Thank you.💕 Unfortunately I am unable to get professional help due to some circumstances
I was just talking about going to a primary care doctor. They can sometimes point you in directions that you didn't realize were there. @JanusPi