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I wish I could give my life to someone who wants to live

GumballMachine 23 hours ago

I wish I could give my life to someone who wants to live but can't. They would benefit more than I from having it. Meanwhile I could rest in peace, away from not having anywhere that I belong, away from being isolated, away from not ever being good enough regardless of how I think about myself, et cetera. I hate it here in this body.

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MarinaLexi 23 hours ago

@GumballMachine

I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're carrying a lot of pain and maybe feeling like you can't find your place in the world and you don't belong. That kind of isolation and feeling of never measuring up can be overwhelming and exhausting. I know how you feel and I was once in your place too. I see you. Please know that these thoughts don't define your worth, even if it’s hard to believe right now.

You deserve compassion, and there are people out there who would genuinely want to help you through this. I am one of them. You don’t have to face this alone. It’s okay to reach out and share this weight with someone who can listen and ease the burden you're carrying. You matter, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

What brings you joy or eases how you feel, no matter how small it may be?

5 replies
GumballMachine OP 21 hours ago

@MarinaLexi How did you find where you belong? Of course it doesn't define my worth, but I'd like to not feel like a piece of the puzzle that is outside of a puzzle that is already completed with one piece missing, but I don't fit properly in the space. I am a puzzle piece for an entirely different puzzle. Going somewhere else would help, but I am finishing my education first.

2 replies
MarinaLexi 20 hours ago

@GumballMachine 

It's a tricky answer and it's not the same for everyone. I'm 22 and I've only just found my place in the world, sometimes it takes longer than you think, but there is hope. I found belonging through leaning towards my strengths and the activities I enjoy and the things I'm good at (7 Cups is fantastic for helping you explore that!).

What would be something in each of those boxes for you?

You are unique. There isn't anyone in the world like you and that's wonderful, because it means there is a space for you and it isn't taken by someone else. It's there. In some situations, you may have to make it, and in others, it may take time before you find the exact place. It's trial and error, and that can be really hard, but you're not alone in feeling that way.

jacek73 14 hours ago

@GumballMachine

I think there are several options:

If you think you are not a piece of a certain puzzle, do not try to fit there by force.

Let the puzzle which was looking for a piece like you to attract you, and take you in.

Or... what about creating a kind of your own set of puzzles?

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GumballMachine OP 20 hours ago

@MarinaLexi It was a genuine question, not rhetorical.

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jacek73 14 hours ago

@GumballMachine

Wishing about giving your life to someone else, who may need it badly, seems to be a really altruistic idea! But maybe you have something to do here? Maybe you are _needed_ here, no matter how modest about yourself and your qualities you have been?

I am sorry to hear you might be not on friendly terms with your body right now...

1 reply
GumballMachine OP 5 hours ago

@jacek73 I am definitely NOT needed. The only way I am needed isn't inducive to my life being good- people NEED me to WORK, and to give them MONEY, and nothing else. They only talk to me when they need me (which they never do), and only talk "about" me otherwise. I am not "needed" in any other way. I am sick of this garbage life.

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Jerry12617 10 hours ago

Wow. I feel your sadness. I can relate for sure. I never had that exact thought. May today feel a little better than yesterday. May you soon want to live the life that is yours.

2 replies
GumballMachine OP 5 hours ago

@Jerry12617 No, today is worse. The same unpleasant things keep REPEATING themselves-wtf????

1 reply
Jerry12617 2 hours ago

Sorry today is even worse 🙁

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