I've reached my lowest low, and I feel hopeless
This post has been a long time in the making. I felt like I needed some outlet to lay it all out. I'd like to apologise in advance for this long-winded and rambling rant, but unfortunately it is the best I can do at the moment.
@joDazed Hey, I wanted to reach out because your story sounds a lot like mine. First off, thank you for sharing—I know it’s not easy to put all that out there.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply! I appreciate it a lot.
I'm so sorry that you have had such awful struggles through no fault of your own. Depression is such an awful thing, and the damage it can do is terrifying. While I don't derive happiness from your struggles, it is relieving to hear that I am not the only one. The feeling of isolation and lack of sympathy from everyone around us feels suffocating, so hearing a sympathetic voice is valuable.
Thank you for saying that my reaching out for support and attending career counselling are a big deal. It is heartening to hear that when I don't feel like it myself. I'm happy that you are reaching out for help too. Sometimes that is the hardest part, and I hope you will get the help you need and deserve to start rebuilding your life. We need to have each other's backs on this journey because we understand what it's like the best.
I wish you all the best, and I hope you will get back on track soon! Just like me, you are not alone.
@joDazed
I'm 32, have been chronically ill and isolated since I was 16, never had a job, never had a proper relationship, never even been on a date, live with my parents, etc. I feel like a loser too, and I also struggle a lot thinking about how no-one else has to deal with these problems. But you and the other commenter are proof that I'm not the only one. So that means you're not the only one either. It sucks, it's definitely not what most people have to deal with and it's hard not to feel so alone or hopeless at the thought of the obstacles you have to overcome that most people take for granted. But you can get there, there are a lot of success stories. It's hard to find the motivation or hope, but that's the only way things can change.
People will accept you. We're usually way harsher on ourselves than we are on others. I doubt you think I'm as pathetic or useless or unlikable as I see myself, right? You're NOT too damaged to live a fulfilling life and you can catch up to your peers. It's a difficult road learning things later than others, but from what I can tell, most people's attitudes are very chill about it. People have more empathy than our self-critical minds can give them credit for sometimes. It's a process though and it's not going to be linear; you might have days where you feel like you're not making as much progress as you have been, but that's OK and normal. It's about not giving up or thinking it's pointless even when it's taking longer than you wish it would, being kind to yourself and acknowledging the small steps you're making gradually over time.
Thank you so much for replying to me! It means so much to me.
I'm so sorry you've had to endure chronic illness and isolation for so long. Feeling isolated from others is certainly difficult. It feels so ridiculous to celebrate things which other people take for granted, and that makes it harder to motivate myself. In a way, it almost feels humiliating.
I certainly do not think you're a loser. Rather, I think you've been quite unfortunate to go through a lot more than other people have. I do hope you're right that other people are more tolerant of my struggles than I am. My worst fear is getting judged, singled out and rejected for being weird.
You said there are lots of success stories. I haven't come across any, but I hope they're there. I wish that you and I will one day be added on that list.
Hi Jo,
I'm glad I've came across this post and it somewhat makes me feel less lonely in this world.
I've wasted my 20s with partying and not taking my education seriously and now I'm regretting it big time as I am 33 going on 34, no degree, no income, no social circles.
I live with my husband whom I've been married to for 2 years. I'm often criticised by him for being extremely lazy and I even struggle with keeping home clean. I feel useless.
I would spend time doomscrolling on social media and tell myself that one day I will be successful too, but why would I be successful if I never try?
I find myself afraid of making any effort, and I quit way too early when things get hard.
I feel powerless in my marriage, I feel like I'm wasting my life away, and I don't know where to start to rebuild myself.
@joDazed
@theInsecuredSingleChild
Thank you for replying to my thread! Sorry that I haven't replied to you earlier; I've struggled to write anything intelligent in the last few days. Apart from getting my degree and dating my first and only girlfriend, I've wasted my 20s not on partying but rotting at home and feeling sorry for myself.
While knowing I'm not alone in feeling like this makes me feel a little better, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with similar regrets as I am. Also, I am sorry that you're having to deal with your husband not being there for you when you need him. It doesn't feel fair for him to call you a lazy person; when you're not feeling your best, it can be extremely difficult to try to break the cycle and be productive.
You've mentioned that you struggle to keep the home clean and that you spend most of your days doom scrolling. You quit way too soon. I get it; I've done so much of that for a very long time but especially in the last few months. It feel so suffocating and discouraging when everyone else seems to thrive while you don't, right? You're never going to catch up so why even bother? It is like you have been defeated before you even start.
Unfortunately, I have no answers for you. I don't even have them for myself. Personally, I'm doing the things I've outlined in my original post, hoping that they'll pay off one day. I encourage you to find something you could do as well, even if it's just a little thing.
I wish you all the best in your future, and I hope you find that spark to change your life for the better!
I'm having a lot of the same problems if you would like to talk I'm here
@adventurousThinker1281
Hey there, so sorry that I haven't replied to you earlier. I'm sorry that you are going through similar struggles. Know that you are not alone, and if there's ever something you wish to discuss, I'll be here to listen to your concerns. You've got this!