Has anyone used the therapist on here

@DanDrisco

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. It's incredibly tough to reach out for help, especially when you've had a bad experience with therapists in the past. Finding a therapist you can trust is crucial, and it's completely okay to take your time finding the right fit for you. When looking for a therapist, it might be helpful to ask friends or family for recommendations, or you could try searching online for therapists who specialize in the issues you're dealing with. It's important to find someone who you feel comfortable with and who you feel understands you. Don't be afraid to schedule initial consultations with a few different therapists to see who you click with. Remember, you're not alone, and reaching out for help is a brave and important step. 

I literally want to cry because I know I need a therapist but am so afraid to get one bc I don't know how. It'll cost too much too. I'm scared if I don't I won't make it through the next crisis. I know I need meds maybe too. I just don't know. I am having so much anxiety. To get through the moment I am tempted to drink. I want the anxiety to stop.

@DanDrisco, I have tried therapist on here. Stuck with 1st one. It helps because can type away whenever. But also not same as in person can't share images or songs or pages previously written, unless send via link. And some curse words or unaliving words get censored. And therapy is initially 80 percent fit & 20% therapist qualifications if it's minor stuff. But if severe trauma therapists need to be trauma focused or informed & have the skills to give tools to help & understand how trauma works so 60% fit and 40% skills. Therapist has skills required check if fit.

@DanDrisco I’ve been where you been. I really hope you get the help you kneed.

@DanDrisco:

”I don't trust therapists due to a bad experience”

I’ve been there more than once so I understand how you feel and why you don’t trust therapists. But not all therapists give you a bad experience. The ones that do are not real therapists. They simply just have the therapist label on them and are acting as a therapist because they’re just playing out a part. 

You just have to keep rollin till you find one that works for you and gives you the good experience that you want, deserve and need. That’s what I did and I’m glad I did because it finally worked out for me :)

Glad that the small task stuff worked to get you into feeling like you accomplished something. Try again tomorrow. And cleaning up a large amount of trash is also awesome! It is so, so hard to do that kind of thing when you are dealing with depression.

We have been doing just a little of my son's room each day. Just that little bit really helps imagining getting the whole thing cleaned. Today it was just a small bookshelf where we only managed to get rid of a few things (and put away some Easter decorations that mysteriously got left out), but it felt good anyway. Tomorrow it is on to the top of the dresser. 

I love the idea of working on the window guards. That sounds like a promising new project. What exactly do you do to create something like that? 

I knew that the blacksmith job idea was a real long shot. But keep thinking about what else might work and how you might start researching jobs. Have you thought about welding training or is that too intense?

I bet there are some cheap books at the bookstore that might contain some "Where's Waldo" like puzzles. Or you could go to the library and pick up one of my favorite kid's books "Animalia" for a few weeks. It has tons of hidden animal images based in the alphabet.

Again, I know that online things aren't necessarily where you want to go but something like this https://www.hiddenobjectgames.com/ or this https://playhop.com/tag/220?clid=4446395&k50id=%7C&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwvIWzBhAlEiwAHHWgvb5izSmZqFCV03eaob0WRq3_MNTxeHSGdYliV8mrUmNlBfASiMpyDhoCyC0QAvD_BwE might be worth trying if you wanted to go that route. The point of the games is just to prove to your brain really regularly that the lies it is telling you "I can't do that" or "I can't find that" are actually wrong. 

I have seen some of those giant skeletons that people dress up for different holidays. There is one down the street from us. It is currently wearing Fourth of July garb I think. It's a great idea. Do you have one?

That refinery sounds awesome! You should definitely take some pieces there and find out more. If nothing else, that would be a good learning experience. The more that you can do these mini exposure things the better.

My sister-in-law has been looking for a job at a library for a while and she finally got one a few days ago even though she hasn't worked in a library before. It really was about lots of little exposure points. She just kept looking and going to libraries, doing some genealogy research at home and doing a bit of volunteering at a food bank. It happens as long as you just stick with it and try as many angles as you can.

I like the idea of a brain exercise app. That could be really helpful. I also love the fact that you were able to point out to yourself that although the day started out rough it didn't end that way. That takes some real strength on some days. I know mornings and evenings were always rough for me when I was in the hole. Eating helped but getting started daily was a bit like moving through sludge.

Did you see anything (or smell or taste anything) where you really connected to your senses today? Mine was when I was in the car dropping my son back at his house (his car was in the shop). I looked across the street and saw that the house across the way had a very pretty decorated gable above the door. I was shocked that I had never noticed it before despite driving by it almost daily during the school year. There are so many things that we are blind to.

It is good that you will be able to set up a walk through of the refinery in a bit. You are going to find something meaningful in terms of work. You just have to keep at it, be flexible, and do as much research as you can about possibilities. One step at a time.

I am sorry about your dog. That sounds like a rough moment of worrying especially after having a dream about it. ERs are also never enjoyable in terms of stress level. I had something similar with my mom, but from a distance. Yesterday she fell and told me during a phone call that she had a broken tooth. a bleeding lip, and might have broken a rib. But she refused to go to a doctor because "it would cost money and they wouldn't find anything wrong." Luckily she changed her mind this morning and went anyway. It worked out just the way she predicted and she is fine, but I feel better not having to worry. I am sure ultimately you feel better about your pup because you know it is a strain.

I love the idea of peripheral reading and holding your fingertips together. Those are two that I haven't done a great deal of before. My sense today was smell. I have been lighting a candle when I read in one of the rooms that has a nice fragrance to it. I am doing it unluckily because of the smell of cat urine in the chair, but I am focusing on the actual pretty smell instead. I have been enjoying smelling candles a bunch this summer as something that is relaxing. I have so many candles that I never use.

I am going to be away between June 23rd and July 2nd, but I still will be coming on here pretty much once a day and answering posts. There is a slight chance that things could get a little crazy and I might miss a day, so I like to warn people. I look forward to hearing more from you. Give your dog a squeeze for me.

Oh, I am so sorry that you have had a rough few weeks inside your head. That can be such a challenge when you are beating yourself up like that and you can't seem to stop.

Come back here when you start down that path, okay? It is bad brain chemicals overreacting and you were able to get on a better path before. It means that you can get on a better path again.

You just have to go back to your solid methods. Start with making sure that you are eating and drinking fluids. Without those basic mechanisms your brain runs wilder because it doesn't have energy.

Are you doing any of your metal work, bird houses, etc.? I know that you said you were with a hospitalized friend, but you can't ignore yourself just for others, okay? You need to balance things a bit. Are you getting outside at all? Nature does wonders even if it is just sitting by a window. Are you spending time with your dog?

Go back to the pattern of putting in here one moment where you were really connected to something with your senses. Focus on those moments. Mine today was seeing part of a rainbow.

There are more rainbows in store for you. I promise. Let's start chatting more. It will help. 

Sending peace today. I have been thinking about you.