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Has anyone used the therapist on here

DanDrisco March 11th

Good evening to you all,


I am hitting a breaking point, I am losing control of hiding it. I don't trust therapists due to a bad experience, but at this point if I don't find one that I can trust time is going to win.


Any and all advice/guidance from anyone that has used a therapist on here is greatly appreciated. Thank you

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GoldenBear16 May 7th

@DanDrisco

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. It's incredibly tough to reach out for help, especially when you've had a bad experience with therapists in the past. Finding a therapist you can trust is crucial, and it's completely okay to take your time finding the right fit for you. When looking for a therapist, it might be helpful to ask friends or family for recommendations, or you could try searching online for therapists who specialize in the issues you're dealing with. It's important to find someone who you feel comfortable with and who you feel understands you. Don't be afraid to schedule initial consultations with a few different therapists to see who you click with. Remember, you're not alone, and reaching out for help is a brave and important step. 

1 reply
DanDrisco OP May 10th

@GoldenBear16


Thank you for the response. I still struggle with the idea of taking on therapy, as I am too proud and want to get through this on my own. I have my breaking points especially with the never ending nightmares occuring but have yet to shop around for a decent person that fits my criteria. The fear of getting admitted for wanting to talk how I want to is what will hinder progress in that aspect unfortunately

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Dennis2542 May 27th

I literally want to cry because I know I need a therapist but am so afraid to get one bc I don't know how. It'll cost too much too. I'm scared if I don't I won't make it through the next crisis. I know I need meds maybe too. I just don't know. I am having so much anxiety. To get through the moment I am tempted to drink. I want the anxiety to stop.

1 reply
DanDrisco OP May 28th

@Den2542


I hope you are doing well,


That drink is a very tough one to defeat, I have been there more times than I could mention. There were two things that helped me steer clear of that drink and hopefully it may help you as well.


First one, and IMO most important one was tying up what I called "slush funds" for drinking with something that can hold value or give value back to you. My tie up was silver coins, no rhyme or reason to buying them besides them being cheap enough to take my weekly drinking money and to collect some random face ones that I liked. That little collection evolved into making my own pieces and learning a new trait which now ties up my drinking time.


Second one, which ties into the first one, is a hobby. Before the previously mentioned, my hobby was video games. It was fun, but I had learned that it wasn't enough to hold my time in a way to where I couldn't get to a drink. So I gave them up, and I actually started with building things with wood. From planter boxes to birdhouses and feeders, that was my beginning hobby which I enjoyed, but I am too particular with final products, and that was not feeding that monster in me.


I tried some writing but me and writing are not friends, even though the things that I wrote were criticized as really good. I am starting to lean back into cars, mainly repairs and small upgrades that don't break the bank, but upgrades that I personally install for the learning experience.


If you already have a hobby, that's even better. My latest saying with current hobbies is "how can I evolve this". From better quality to introducing another elemental entity to it, my new goal is to evolve what I have or have done into something unique. One evolution that I found on the Internet was a guy who buys old paintings from thrift stores and adds something to them, basically like a bob Ross style painting and putting star wars or comic book heroes into it.


Try something that you always thought you could never do, if you suck at it, which I still do with mine, keep trying. You will stumble upon greater things when you least expect it

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pointseven May 27th

@DanDrisco, I have tried therapist on here. Stuck with 1st one. It helps because can type away whenever. But also not same as in person can't share images or songs or pages previously written, unless send via link. And some curse words or unaliving words get censored. And therapy is initially 80 percent fit & 20% therapist qualifications if it's minor stuff. But if severe trauma therapists need to be trauma focused or informed & have the skills to give tools to help & understand how trauma works so 60% fit and 40% skills. Therapist has skills required check if fit.

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DanDrisco OP May 28th

@pointseven


I hope you are doing well,


I tried to consider a therapist, but ultimately I am just continuing on with punishing myself as I feel censored with one. If I have "a life altering" thought that I wanted to verbalize with them, I fear they will have enough authority to put me away, and that's something that I cannot have at this time.


I have been finding some sort of peace with a new hobby I picked up, it has become expensive but the philosophy with it I keep thinking to myself is "got to spend money to make money" and "got to make money to spend money" so I am hoping to eventually get into selling some things I have made.

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pointseven July 23rd

@DanDrisco hopefully it works out for you. And I get that fear, so u can ask them their policy on putting someone away. What is their criteria, because each therapist is different. 

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DanDrisco OP July 24th

@pointseven


I seem to continue with the nightmare of doing it on my own, and I feel like I am ruining everything. Going to shop around and see if I can find one that fits the above

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GoodTrouble19 June 2nd

@DanDrisco I’ve been where you been. I really hope you get the help you kneed.

akunknown June 6th

@DanDrisco:

”I don't trust therapists due to a bad experience”


I’ve been there more than once so I understand how you feel and why you don’t trust therapists. But not all therapists give you a bad experience. The ones that do are not real therapists. They simply just have the therapist label on them and are acting as a therapist because they’re just playing out a part. 

You just have to keep rollin till you find one that works for you and gives you the good experience that you want, deserve and need. That’s what I did and I’m glad I did because it finally worked out for me :)

bestVase7265 June 7th

Glad that the small task stuff worked to get you into feeling like you accomplished something. Try again tomorrow. And cleaning up a large amount of trash is also awesome! It is so, so hard to do that kind of thing when you are dealing with depression.

We have been doing just a little of my son's room each day. Just that little bit really helps imagining getting the whole thing cleaned. Today it was just a small bookshelf where we only managed to get rid of a few things (and put away some Easter decorations that mysteriously got left out), but it felt good anyway. Tomorrow it is on to the top of the dresser. 

I love the idea of working on the window guards. That sounds like a promising new project. What exactly do you do to create something like that? 

I knew that the blacksmith job idea was a real long shot. But keep thinking about what else might work and how you might start researching jobs. Have you thought about welding training or is that too intense?

I bet there are some cheap books at the bookstore that might contain some "Where's Waldo" like puzzles. Or you could go to the library and pick up one of my favorite kid's books "Animalia" for a few weeks. It has tons of hidden animal images based in the alphabet.

Again, I know that online things aren't necessarily where you want to go but something like this https://www.hiddenobjectgames.com/ or this https://playhop.com/tag/220?clid=4446395&k50id=%7C&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwvIWzBhAlEiwAHHWgvb5izSmZqFCV03eaob0WRq3_MNTxeHSGdYliV8mrUmNlBfASiMpyDhoCyC0QAvD_BwE might be worth trying if you wanted to go that route. The point of the games is just to prove to your brain really regularly that the lies it is telling you "I can't do that" or "I can't find that" are actually wrong. 


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DanDrisco OP June 13th

@bestVase7265


I am glad to hear you got some things done around your son's room. There has been a growing trend around my area with these 10foot skeletons where instead of taking them down, people have been dressing them up for different holidays, which I found to be a nifty way of not clogging up storage space. Also, I have a few Easter and Xmas decorations that have become permanent fixtures around the house, as they were missed when cleaning up but seems to fit in.


Today, I found out about a refinery near me that has an opening as well as holds tours for anyone interested in the business, which seems to be a calling at this point. I plan on taking a few of my own pieces as a physical resume seeing I have no background on paper for this.


I am looking for an app now that can help with the brain exercises at least once maybe twice a day on a routine schedule. I stopped using the ole noggin for a while that I need to give it more exercise. Today started out as a rough one that showed no light at the end of the tunnel, but it seemed to end pretty well for the most part. I hope everything is going well for you and the family

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bestVase7265 June 14th

I have seen some of those giant skeletons that people dress up for different holidays. There is one down the street from us. It is currently wearing Fourth of July garb I think. It's a great idea. Do you have one?

That refinery sounds awesome! You should definitely take some pieces there and find out more. If nothing else, that would be a good learning experience. The more that you can do these mini exposure things the better.

My sister-in-law has been looking for a job at a library for a while and she finally got one a few days ago even though she hasn't worked in a library before. It really was about lots of little exposure points. She just kept looking and going to libraries, doing some genealogy research at home and doing a bit of volunteering at a food bank. It happens as long as you just stick with it and try as many angles as you can.

I like the idea of a brain exercise app. That could be really helpful. I also love the fact that you were able to point out to yourself that although the day started out rough it didn't end that way. That takes some real strength on some days. I know mornings and evenings were always rough for me when I was in the hole. Eating helped but getting started daily was a bit like moving through sludge.

Did you see anything (or smell or taste anything) where you really connected to your senses today? Mine was when I was in the car dropping my son back at his house (his car was in the shop). I looked across the street and saw that the house across the way had a very pretty decorated gable above the door. I was shocked that I had never noticed it before despite driving by it almost daily during the school year. There are so many things that we are blind to.

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DanDrisco OP June 21st

@bestVase7265


I do not own the skeleton, my Halloween decorating has been minimal as the kids around here seem to not partake in the holiday like I remember it being when I was younger. Due to a few hiccups I could not go to the refinery but once all my friends and family come back from vacation I can setup a walkthrough.


I'm happy that your sister in law got the job! This new sense of going for what makes one happy is what I am enjoying, seeing a few friends take the lower paying career path in exchange for being happy at a job brings me a different kind of joy for them. Money is important yes, but the sacrifices one can make to regain a passion for the days work they do is something that I find to be beautiful.


Today was a pretty rough day.my dog jumped off the couch and hurt his leg so I ran him to the ER. Luckily it wasn't anything too bad outside of a strain, but it knocked me down a good amount of pegs since it reminded me of a dream I had about a month ago that his legs got hurt. Strangely enough, as I was at the ER with him, I had one of those moments where I could smell a taste of something that I could not figure out, but it reminded me of something back when I was younger.


I try to exercise my senses regularly, from peripheral reading to holding my fingertips together soft enough to feel my pulse. Some take for granted that they have these tools available to them at their leisure while others never got to experience something as simple as the colors of the world.

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bestVase7265 June 22nd

It is good that you will be able to set up a walk through of the refinery in a bit. You are going to find something meaningful in terms of work. You just have to keep at it, be flexible, and do as much research as you can about possibilities. One step at a time.

I am sorry about your dog. That sounds like a rough moment of worrying especially after having a dream about it. ERs are also never enjoyable in terms of stress level. I had something similar with my mom, but from a distance. Yesterday she fell and told me during a phone call that she had a broken tooth. a bleeding lip, and might have broken a rib. But she refused to go to a doctor because "it would cost money and they wouldn't find anything wrong." Luckily she changed her mind this morning and went anyway. It worked out just the way she predicted and she is fine, but I feel better not having to worry. I am sure ultimately you feel better about your pup because you know it is a strain.

I love the idea of peripheral reading and holding your fingertips together. Those are two that I haven't done a great deal of before. My sense today was smell. I have been lighting a candle when I read in one of the rooms that has a nice fragrance to it. I am doing it unluckily because of the smell of cat urine in the chair, but I am focusing on the actual pretty smell instead. I have been enjoying smelling candles a bunch this summer as something that is relaxing. I have so many candles that I never use.

I am going to be away between June 23rd and July 2nd, but I still will be coming on here pretty much once a day and answering posts. There is a slight chance that things could get a little crazy and I might miss a day, so I like to warn people. I look forward to hearing more from you. Give your dog a squeeze for me.


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DanDrisco OP June 23rd

@bestVase7265


Thank you for your kindness, I hope your time away is relaxing and gives you a bit of a refresher. I was getting a faint smell of cat urine recently, not sure where it came from but I was the only one who smelled it. My pup is doing better, although today he randomly got a case of diarrhea which is concerning me since one of the meds given were for the liver.


I would like a moment of not worrying or stressing about things. I wanted to do a getaway with him soon but until this ceases that will be put on hold.


I am very happy to hear your mom is okay after that. It's not easy to be at a distance when something bad comes up. Very happy it had a somewhat good ending, and again enjoy your time away.

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bestVase7265 June 24th

Just as life contains lots of moments of stress, so too does vacation. Multiple flights late, kids throwing up, an airplane not able to land properly... But we are finally here and safe. Sometimes that is all you can hope for.

I hope that your dog is feeling better very soon.@DanDrisco

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DanDrisco OP June 28th

@besyVase7265


I seen on the news, also trying to setup my mom's vacation, that the airlines are having some difficulties. Trying to get a direct flight 4 states across is impossible, there are minimal flights available and the layovers are 6+ hours. It's wild to say the least.


Odin is doing good now. He is almost back to normal although he never wanted to take this little resting break. I am very happy to hear you all made it to the destination. I hope you can enjoy yourself and your family for the time being.

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bestVase7265 June 29th

So glad to hear about Odin. I hope everything else is going fairly smoothly for you. How is your metal work coming?

We are doing well. The rest of the vacation has gone well so far, though we are pretty tired. Another two days of actual vacation and then one day coming home.@DanDrisco

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DanDrisco OP July 22nd

@bestVase7265


Sorry I haven't been around lately. Had a friend in the hospital and decided to take the lead on making sure everything went good. Very happy you had fun on your vacation, we all need a little break from reality now and then, hoping I can get to my own soon.


Mentally, I have not been doing very well. I would like to learn how to get out of this hard criticism of my own self before it gets to a breaking point. I feel like the worst human on this earth no matter how much I am reassured by everyone around me, I have been placing blame on the bad things happening on myself even though they are considered uncontrollables. I don't think I can take much more of whatever this is.


I hope you and the family are doing great. I hope that you things for you are going smoothly.

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bestVase7265 July 23rd

Oh, I am so sorry that you have had a rough few weeks inside your head. That can be such a challenge when you are beating yourself up like that and you can't seem to stop.

Come back here when you start down that path, okay? It is bad brain chemicals overreacting and you were able to get on a better path before. It means that you can get on a better path again.

You just have to go back to your solid methods. Start with making sure that you are eating and drinking fluids. Without those basic mechanisms your brain runs wilder because it doesn't have energy.

Are you doing any of your metal work, bird houses, etc.? I know that you said you were with a hospitalized friend, but you can't ignore yourself just for others, okay? You need to balance things a bit. Are you getting outside at all? Nature does wonders even if it is just sitting by a window. Are you spending time with your dog?

Go back to the pattern of putting in here one moment where you were really connected to something with your senses. Focus on those moments. Mine today was seeing part of a rainbow.

There are more rainbows in store for you. I promise. Let's start chatting more. It will help. 

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DanDrisco OP July 24th

@bestVase7265

I am working on regaining motivation to get back to making something, anything at this point. Appetite is ruined again, so that is another hill to battle. I did get out more today than lately, took my pup to a park and got a little drive in as well.


I truly appreciate you and your lending of an ear. You have been a big part of this whole thing and I am grateful that we connected. I am in the middle of making a model to mold and make a new rear view mirror piece for the car. After reading the last part, I did realize that since it's been raining more than usual around here I have been losing my morning routine of watering my flowers, which could explain the sudden downfall of emotions.


I have to reweed out there as well, so that should occupy my morning tomorrow.

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bestVase7265 July 24th

No problem with the lending the ear part.

You have lots of positive things in here really. You are getting outside and you are making things. Now you just have to convince your brain that those things matter. They do a great deal. They helped before and can help again.

I hope that doing the weeding tomorrow really brings you peace. Focus on the flowers that you see.

What kinds of things are you trying to eat?

My moment today was the huge flock of ibises I saw walking tonight. I have never counted that many. There were over 30. @DanDrisco

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bestVase7265 July 26th

Sending peace today. I have been thinking about you. 

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DanDrisco OP July 26th

@bestVase7265


Thank you for everything. Today I weeded a bunch, practically mowed with my hands. It was a lot of work but the end result was well worth it. Appetite wise, I have found myself back to water and pretzels, the saltier the better.


After I got done my mom's, I went to start at my wife's house. We talked a bit about the things that I have been going through, but seems that my opinion and feelings were not valid. Todays feel good was spending the day with Odin and seeing the cats for a bit.


Strange thing that happened the other day, as I was walking, I found there were two eagles flying above me, circling around. I found that to be quite interesting seeing that I have been having strange run ins with a great deal of birds, most have written it off as nothing but I feel like it is some sort of thing that is telling me something.


Again, you are absolutely great and thank you for being you

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