@mytwistedsoul
I was not one for religion myself. I decided to give it a try this year in hopes to stop this downfall and hopefully get an answer. I didn't like what I found to say the least. I don't believe in coincidence but, for lack of better wording, coincidentally... I have been hearing that rest is what is wanted from me.
I have been on here for about a year now and tried to give those who seek help with their afflictions any sort of guidance that has helped me. I am open to any sort of community building that comes my way, tomorrow I am going to start volunteer work at a goat sanctuary in hopes that it helps keep my mind off of everything happening.
It's not the rest that I have been looking for or have been asked of, but I feel very worthless as I quit my last job in search of more meaning to this life. Wake up, go to work, go to sleep, repeat. I believe that there is another step that breaks the cycle of fulfilling a suits dream and starts a new cycle of fulfilling ones own dream. I cannot stop until I find this break of the normalcy that has been indoctrinated in all of us.
I appreciate all of you for the help that is given to me. To say "port if the storm" also resonates in such a way since it has also been a topic for the last year. I feel that this storm has a ways to go which concerns me, I feel like I need that rest you have offered to me but I am too antsy to keep still. I need to figure out how to not feel like sitting idle is the wrong move.