Feeling lost :(

I'm so sorry for all that you've been through Connor. I unfortunately don't have any easy answers for you, but I truly hope you find the answers and support that you're seeking. You are not alone, I know how hard it is to see that sometimes, that's why I'm here myself.

Hi connor, I may not have the right answer for you but focus on your self and take it one day at a time. Just process what happened and take your time. I am sorry that you went through this sending love and hugs your way.

You have been through a series of really horrible, unfortunate mishaps. None of what has happened is your fault.

I probably would take a 1-2 week pause from your current relationship. Give both of you a little time to work through current emotions. Then get outside as much as you can during the pause. Allow yourself time to play video games or watch something. In other words, pamper yourself a bit.

Sending peace and strength. @connor86

I feel your hurt...I'm dealing with a break up as well....sometimes it feels like the pain will never end. 🫶

@connor86 Life gives us moments of great joy and crushing sadness.  We cannot always control them.  In fact, we usually can't control them at all.  But when bad stuff happens, it's really easy to think there is something wrong with us, or it happened because of something we did, or didn't do. 

It is incredibly difficult to get over that feeling.  To think "nah, this is just normal random stuff.  I was a bit cold on the relationship because I wasn't ready, she wanted to progress, so she started dating someone else.  Just bad timing" feels incredibly distant.  Maybe rationally you can understand it, but it doesn't change your feeling.  You look forwards, it all looks dark.  You look backwards, and it all looks dark too.

First thing is ... allow these feelings to happen.  They are feelings.  They are not necessarily true.  But they have a voice and need to be heard.   Let them happen, put them into words (say them out loud) but always prefix them with "I have a feeling that".  Because that is true.  For example " I have a feeling that I will never find someone" is true.  But "I will never find someone" isn't true.  IT helps, always, to bathe ourselves in the truth.  Because in the long run, it will make us stronger and more free.  

Second thing is ... don't allow your concentration and focus to drift into the past or the future.  The past will not change.  All that can change is your interpretation of it.  And that only happens slowly.  Your interpretation of it today will be the same as yesterday.  So don't try to do that, expecting a breakthrough.  It may happen, but slowly.  It's not today's problem.  The future can and will change based on many factors that you don't control.  Don't dwell on it.  Focus on the next 30 seconds, or the next minute.  In that time, think ONLY about what you are doing.  Making a tea.  Watching a video.  Waiting for a bus.  Think only of that.  When the distracting thoughts come , describe the thought and what it is saying "I have a feeling that ...." , let it happen, get back to your bus stop. 

When you are waiting for a bus, be waiting for a bus.  Listen to the sounds of the street.  Look at the cars.  Look at the asphalt.  Look at how it is painted.  Smell the city.  Feel the fabric in your trouser pockets. That very moment is a fountain of infinite colours, sounds, experiences that can fill your mind with tons of information that has nothing to do with your relationships, your past or your future.  You can just focus on that.  Bit by bit, your mind will become more accustomed to being in the moment.  You'll get stronger, time will pass.

All of these suggestions are simply that.  Suggestions.  Take them or leave them, I will not be offended if they don't work :) .  But all tunnels have a light at the end of them.  Every single one.  And getting there is a process of single steps forward.  You just have to believe that each step forward is one less to be taken before you eventually get there.