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Accepting loliness
draven99 July 16th

I fear I'll always be alone, l've tried putting myself out there both for relationships and friendships, but nothing seems to work, I'm starting to question everything about myself, I'll be 25 in august I feel so behind in life everyone around me is either married or in serious relationships, when I'm around those said people and they start talking about weddings / relationships, I feel so alone because I have nothing to contribute to the conversations, so I just nod and smile and congratulate them on their relationships and just be happy for them,

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bestVase7265 July 18th

I know that it can be so hard when everyone around you seems "further along the path", but the key to realize is that they aren't. Each person has a different speed with tons of ups and downs. You aren't predestined to be lonely.

What kinds of things do you do to care for yourself? How do you work to get to know new people? @draven99

3 replies
draven99 OP July 19th

ive been kind of a loner since I was in school and even more so now into my 20s , I’ve tried reconnecting with old friends from school and tried making new ones , but I end up being pushed to the side after awhile , because I feel like I end up becoming boring , I’m also shy to an extent,but after awhile I end opening up , but since I haven’t had any friends in years I’ve become extremely reclusive, and my social anxiety has become worse because when I go out in public, I get nervous and sometimes forget what I’m doing, and I’d like to overcome that , and I know I’m not destined to be alone but I feel like I am , I also feel undesirable for friendships and relationships, and I agree with you everyone has a different path , I just feel behind , I really you responding it means so much and your comment has helped me:)

2 replies
bestVase7265 July 20th

I will keep responding to you as long as you want to keep this thread going. I do so every 24-48 hours and I am very regular.

This can be a good way to start to break down some of that loneliness. We can start a conversation here that will make you less socially anxious in real life. This is a great place to practice anonymously.

So tell me a little about yourself.@draven99

bestVase7265 July 21st

How were things for you today? @draven99

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Angelanj July 18th

@draven99 Ugh, that fear of always being alone - it's a monster, isn't it? And honestly, it can feel even worse when you've been putting yourself out there and things just haven't clicked. You deserve connection, and it's completely valid to feel discouraged right now. 


Here's the thing: so many people feel lonely, even when they're surrounded by others. It's more common than you might think! And, 25 is still so young.! There's absolutely no timeline for relationships, and focusing on building a life you love can be incredibly attractive. 

Seeing everyone else seemingly coupled up can be a real punch to the gut, especially when you crave that connection. But what if we shifted the focus? Instead of just seeking relationships, what about exploring activities or hobbies you're truly passionate about? It's a fantastic way to meet people who share your interests, and friendships can blossom into deeper connections in ways you might not expect.

You are amazing, and you have so much to offer! Maybe we can brainstorm some ways to reconnect with yourself and what makes you unique. And if those feelings of self-doubt creep in, remember, talking to a trusted friend or family member can be a huge weight off your shoulders. There are also online communities for people with shared interests, which can be a great way to connect with others who "get it." 

Building connections takes time and effort, and it's important to be kind to yourself throughout the journey. Celebrate your own progress, and don't let setbacks define you. If you'd like to brainstorm some activity ideas, online communities, or even just need someone to listen, I'm here for you. 
2 replies
draven99 OP July 19th

thank you so much for this message, it’s made me feel so much better and it’s made me feel understood and seen :) , I have to help take care of my ill grandfather , and I’ve become so isolated', but I’ve attempted to make friends even online , but I’ve ended up being ghosted or just pushed to the side and only being talked to when there’s nobody else around, like the last option , I really enjoy listening to music and watching movies and being out in nature, I’ve always been kinda alone and to myself, but lately the loneliness and isolation has really been getting to me and my depression and anxiety have become even more worse , I’ve always been able to control my anxiety and depression and get through it, but as of lately I haven’t been able to and I’ve developed unhealthy coping mechanisms, I just wanna feel okay and happy in my own skin , I’m tired of feeling so down and having so much self hatred, I know im just 25 but I feel like I’m running out of time and I know that’s not true , I just wanna be different, i apologize for the long response it’s just nice getting that out and someone to listen , I truly appreciate you being so kind :)

1 reply
Angelanj July 20th

@draven99 Hey there, I'm sorry about that. I hope things get better soon 🫂. If you ever want to you can message me and we can be friends! It's ok to struggle with mental health sometimes it happens to the best of us. I totally get what you mean, I'm 3 years younger than you and I sometimes feel that way too! But we're young and we do have time to reach out full potential and our goals. You don't have to apologise for the long reply! I am so happy that my reply was somewhat helpful. Sending love and light your way 💗

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crimsonPenguin7073 July 20th

Same feelings...

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