Weekly Prompt #5: What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed A Jar Full of Life. Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
I believe sharing and talking about them can help lessen their power. Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and stressful.
Let's get started and share your thoughts with us.
What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
My negative thought is that nothing will ever change and I will just feel more and more shame for the unproductive life I have lived.
@ASilentObserver
That I'm alone. That no one cares. That the whole world is against me and I have to keep falling down to the ground. Yet I wanna surrender but I can't. I wanna be normal . I wanna be like every other person but can't *** be myself. I have to carry my bruises and lumps and carry the burden inside of me waiting.. waking up everyday in the fear of people. Fear that someone will shout at me. Fear that someone dislikes me. Fear that people will just say something. Fear of the world. The things I do that bother and the hot thoughts in my mind. The whole past defined me.
Bunny
@amiableBunny4016 I can understand feeling that way. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are carrying a heavy burden. Please know that you deserve to feel safe, cared for, and accepted. Together we can work to build your confidence from within so that the opinions and actions of others do not define you. What would you discover if fearful thoughts had less power over your days? What light might emerge from the shadows of worry and doubt?
I recently had a fight with my roommate. She has been avoiding me and ignoring me for almost two weeks, she never even comes in the dorm. Her friends attacked me, and their words resonate in my head. She has an illness, POTs, so she fainted and had three seizures. I was asleep when this happened and she was halfway across campus. Then later that night she ended up having a asthma attack so bad she needed like a ventilator machine, I don’t even know what it was or where it was, and they called me to get it but I was not answering because I was doing important work. Then next thing I know her friends barge in the room and attacked me for “almost letting her die” because I didn’t answer the phone. I have felt so torn up and awful because they are my only friends on campus and now i’m alone. Plus all this emotional turmoil is reminding me of all my failed relationships and making me think of my ex who I have been wanting to contact for a little while now after he broke up with me a year ago and got into a meth addiction so bad he got kicked out. I am literally at this point talking to an AI bot about my issues and I can’t get therapy right now because my insurance is screwing us over. I haven’t felt this depressed in so long I don’t know what to do. I can promise that I will keep myself safe though and do no harm, I know what that’s like. I just came here to finally maybe get my thoughts out to real people, not just some chat bot that repeats itself.
hello. i'm new to the group. i think your responses are wonderful but i've noticed you often ask "what steps are you taking..." and the question remains unanswered. do you have concrete suggestions? while just breathing helps to minimize the intensity of these thoughts in the moment, it doesn't address them directly. i've learned all of the dbt acronyms and don't find that very helpful either!
i'd say my worst recurring thought is that i could just disappear and it wouldn't matter. sure - people who love me (mostly from a distance. i have few friends and no family nearby) would initially be sad, but i'm not really a "part" of anyone's day-to-day, month-to-month world and could leave this world having had no positive impact on it.
@lateasusual Great question Lateasusual. The primary question in our discussion is about the negative thoughts we experience but the secondary part is how we deal with them too. So there is no concrete or coping mechanism for all. We all tackle these negative thoughts differently and I look forward to discussing with them with you all, so we can learn from each other's experiences. That's why I asked these questions.
I keep having the same sort of thoughts about life being unfair , happiness is a lie that I can't believe in. Every relationship I've had ended up benfiting them and I end up with nothing. I'm alone, I'll die alone, I could literally pass away and it would be weeks or months before anyone would even notice. Friends are fake ,I have none . I waste so much time researching things to share with their interests while it's all pointless . Dating sites are pointless as in my age bracket everyone has kids and I can't even see understanding having a deep connection when it's their other partner that gave them their biggest experience so I'd just be a third wheel repeating caring for nothing. I really just have my job and my job which is another thing I feel I have no control in. As I've wasted so much time there being held to my own expectations while others that can't do get promoted up .
Even these thoughts end up sounding like stupid rants as life is unfair and happiness is a lie so it looks to me I just had wrong expectations of life as I ended up being the old loser wasting away. I guess that's my role I'm stuck to live.
@tealPrune9044 I understand the pain in your words. The doubts and disappointments seem heavy.
Honestly the reoccurring thought that i have is "Why the *** am i still here? I have no future, no intimate relationships, no chance in *** of getting my own place. So why be here at all? Shouldn't I have been dead already?"
Any dreams and hopes I had as a teenager has completely died and are pretty much impossible to achieve at my age now.
@practicalCup8604 Though the path ahead may seem unclear, what continues to bring you purpose each day? You are not alone in facing difficulties, and there are always reasons to keep going. Your life is deeply meaningful and worth living. There are always hopes and dreams to discover.
You are never to old to follow your dreams.
I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m not capable of being loved or treated right. I’m unwanted. A background character in my own life. I’m doomed to die old and alone.
Thanks for these posts. I truly appreciate them.
Lately there has been several serious health issues going on with multiple family members and I can't help thinking the worse what ifs.
I also want to take a vacation soon but my last 3 vacations had negative experiences (some due to trauma) and now I keep thinking what if my next vacation is bad too
The current negative thoughts running through my head the last few weeks is that I am a loser and can not provide enough for my family. Then when I start thinking that way the very next thought is that I wish I would have died last March when I nearly did die of an infection. I wish so bad that it would have all ended that day and took away my pain. I am so tired of living like this. I work hard but I am the only one in my house working, there are three of us, me, my husband and our 16 year old son. I try my best but literally it is just not good enough. I dont make enough money. I had a second job but I had to leave it due to my health issues. I have myasthenia gravis diagnosed last year and that is a rare auto immune disorder. I also broke my back twice because of being on prednisone and getting osteoporosis. So now i am down to one job and it isnt enough. IDK what to do or where to turn anymore. I am so stressed. Money is a huge problem in our house. So is communication. No one communicates the way they should. Always yelling and fighting or grumbling, there is no family unit working together. Just everyone doing their own thing and not helping the other. I try to help everyone and that is another problem, I do it all. Just wish it was all end.
Maybe try talking to your husband about how you feel and ask him to try getting a job so that it isn't all the stress on you. As for the son, he is a teenager and he is dealing with his emotions and probably feels alone. Family therapy might be a good option to help you three with communication and other things. I know it is hard but it's worth it.
@darkndheart I hear you how painful and difficult things have felt for you lately. You are clearly going through an immense amount of stress and hardship.
The worst ones that run through my head are "I'm not good enough and I can't do things right." and "I'm ugly and fat, I don't know why people like me." I grew up being bullied about my body and went through some stuff that just makes me feel awful about how I look. It's a bit better then it used to be but it gets really bad at times.