Saying something nice promotes our wellbeing

@HealingTalk

@HealingTalk

Regarding

• Think of people in your life who you rarely or never compliment.
  
• What nice things could you say to each of them?
• Would you make it a regular practice?
• I look forward to your comments.

As Dale Carnegie suggested:

• Give frequent praise
• Make it a daily habit
• Make it as personal as possible
• Hold back criticism
• Show genuine interest in them
  

So one could do that in email or while talking in real life or on a phone call.

He is my favorite writer and I'm a huge fan of all his books. Thank you for sharing the main theme of my favorite book.

Much love,

-Angel
@7motivation

@lyricalAngel70

You're very welcome!

Thank you for your ❤️ felt kind words!

I am so glad ♥️

Best wishes, stay blessed ♥️
@7motivation

@7motivation

Those are wise words and great advice for improving the lives of our partners, family, friends, coworkers, and people we meet in any way, while improving our own lives at the same time.

Thank you for your valuable contribution!

@HealingTalk

That's a great reminder, very useful! 😊

@MeaningfulSilence

Thank you!

I am glad you liked it!

@HealingTalk

Sure thing! 😊

Kindness is contagious, and often when one person says something nice to someone else, that kindness spreads to a third, forth, fifth, etc person. Kindness is a very broad topic, as it is made of many sub-skills. To have Compassion, Empathy, Positivity, good Communication, Gratitude, Cooperative, and Recognition towards others, are all skills that one can practice, to help spread kindness with words or actions.

I've realized something else though, no matter where I have worked, there is always at least one colleague who does not know what kindness is. Sometimes, I feel that they are using rudeness to hide their own feelings, not exactly making them feel good. Almost like the effect of how some people turn to a nervous laugh when they don't have words to describe the situation at hand. They're not necessarily laughing at the matter, but they are hiding what they are truly feeling.

Being kind to someone goes a long way, indeed. Good to turn the atmosphere to a more positive vibe, and at the same time, make ourselves feel good from inside-out.

I often try to thank others for what they have done. Whether that be at work, or with family. I'm also trying to control myself to not always lose my patience with my dad, as he always does something the needs us to nag him not to do. Of course, it's for his own good, but my mum says that he often feels hurt from it. So, my brother and I have been trying to change our reactions to his actions. Changing them something nice, or make sound not like a nag. We've been trying to get my dad change his negative thoughts, and it's sometimes frustrating for us. So, our nags are for his own good, but I guess, we have to put it in a nicer way. Although, he doesn't really listen to us anyways. So, we've asked our mum to do the nagging and reminding instead, since he won't feel as hurt coming from her, he just ignores and change the subject. So, in a sense, we're trying to make it into a habit, with the goal of changing my dad's negative thoughts, little by little. But, it gets difficult to change his way of thinking at his age, as he's quite stubborn and doesn't think that his way of thinking has anything wrong with it. He can always somehow talk himself out of it.

Thank you for this wonderful post, @HealingTalk

@Jaeteuk

Hi there Jaeteuk!

You are really doing your best to keep in balance your own emotions and those of family members, trying to understand them and doing all you can to change in positive the interactions.

That's really nice of you, hope you would show yourself the same care and kindness 💙

Hello Silence,

Sometimes I don't understand why my dad always have something negative to say. Whether it's towards us, or even commenting on discussions we're having about other people or the news. The first sentence that he says, is always the negative side.

I have a feeling that it could be because of the trauma he had during his first job in Canada. Had a business partner, who ended up asking us to pitch in lots of $$, and none of it was returned to us. Then, when he parted from the business partner, still staying with the company, but branched out to a retail store of his own, another colleague gave him a hard time. So, I think, with these two incidents, he has never really healed from it. So, he always thinks people are acting certain ways with bad intentions. So his negativity comes from that, maybe to protect himself, he speaks ill of others. But that business partner incident, has been 20+ years ago. Even we don't mention the business partner's name anymore, afraid that it would trigger him.

At first, I thought that because my parents became Christians, that they would learn how to be more positive, or to think more in a neutral way towards others. My mum changed for the better, but my dad had stayed the same and continued to be negative. I just don't know what else we can do to help him change his way of thinking. If we tell him not to say something negative about so-and-so, he gets upset that we're not letting him express his thoughts. But if we don't say anything, then communication between us will also lessen. *sigh* I don't know what to do anymore.

@MeaningfulSilence

@Jaeteuk

Yes it seems like you said, your father went through a lot and it must have played a role in his current way to express his feelings or his thoughts. I hope he also could find more inner peace. That would help him letting go all the negative he (maybe) still holds, causing some beneficial effects on the whole family.

Whenever he makes connections with his past traumas, my mum always reminds him that it's of the past, that he should let go and to stop connecting it with the current events. As that person, we don't even know if he's still around, or what kind of life he's living. That what's happened has already happened, and that even if he doesn't let it go, our $$ won't be returned to us anyways. He seems to hold onto the hurt he received from that event, but we're all afraid to talk about it with him. So, don't know what we can do to have him heal from it, even when 20+ years have passed. Every time he thinks about it, his blood pressure rises, and we all know that he still holds onto the hurt from that incident. But we can't mention of it, so it's not like we can help heal him from its origin. Of course, he also doesn't admit he needs help either.

Like I said before, we just hope that he can become more positive, learn to be kind to others with his words, and to not always think negatively of other people or events. He has a habit of saying so-and-so shouldn't act that way, but my mum always catches his words and say, he has done the same thing before. Then, asks him, why do you not like it when others do it, and when it comes to yourself, you think it's okay? Then, he would change the subject and brush it off. We just want him to live more happily, spreading kindness amongst friends around him, will also be better for his own well-being and emotional state.

@MeaningfulSilence

@Jaeteuk

Hi Jaeteuk!

Thank you for commenting about my post, for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences, and for your kind words!

It's wonderful to see that you recognize the power of kindness and its potential to spread from person to person. Kindness encompasses various sub-skills such as compassion, empathy, positivity, good communication, gratitude, cooperation, and recognition, all of which can be cultivated and practiced to promote kindness through words and actions.

Your understanding of this broad topic is deep and insightful.

You mentioned that in your workplace, there is always at least one colleague who seems unfamiliar with kindness.

It's possible that some individuals use rudeness as a way to mask their own feelings or insecurities, rather than intentionally trying to make others feel good.

This behavior might be comparable to someone resorting to a nervous laugh when they lack the words to describe a situation.

Their rudeness is not a reflection of your worth or character, but rather an expression of their own internal struggles.

You rightly pointed out that being kind to others has a significant impact, not only in creating a more positive atmosphere but also in fostering a sense of well-being within ourselves.

Expressing gratitude and acknowledging others' efforts, whether at work or with family, is a meaningful way to spread kindness.

It's admirable that you are making efforts to control your impatience with your dad, even though he often engages in behavior that requires you to nag him. While your intentions are for his own good, your mom has provided valuable insight by suggesting a different approach that may be less hurtful to him.

Changing your reactions to his actions and finding ways to communicate your concerns in a more positive manner can potentially create a healthier dynamic within your family.

However, changing someone's way of thinking, especially at an older age, can be challenging.

Your dad's stubbornness and his belief that his way of thinking is not flawed might make it difficult to initiate change.

So it might take alot of patience, understanding, and keeping realistic expectations. It might be helpful to involve your mom, as she can play a supportive role in reminding him without causing him to feel hurt or defensive.

Change takes time and perseverance. By making small steps and consistently reinforcing positive habits, you can gradually work towards influencing your dad's negative thoughts.

Ultimately, it's essential to approach this journey with love, empathy, and an understanding that everyone's path toward personal growth is unique, I think.

All the best, Jaeteuk!

Thank you, Marcelo. For clearing up what I've said. You've made it sound so much better!

I've actually done a lot of research on Kindness myself for the past 1.5 years.

I had a chat with my mum last week, she says that maybe I could give her hints when dad needs reminding and she'll speak up about it instead. I tried to hint her yesterday at the dinner table, as my dad sat across from me. But it's difficult when she doesn't really look at me, and it's tricky trying to hint her what she needs to say. (It wasn't something negative he said, but a habit of a posture he always does after eating that should be changed).

Our ways of expressing will need to be tweaked so it doesn't create hurt for my dad. Sometimes, I also need to catch myself before I say something, in case it comes out too strong. Yes, change does take a lot of patience, understanding and perseverance. We hope that my dad can change little by little, as having a more positive outlook on life, will also prolong his life when he's in a better mood himself.

@HealingTalk

Think of people in your life who you rarely or never compliment.

One of my cousins.

What nice things could you say to each of them?

Thank you for always being attentive and caring about me.

Would you make it a regular practice?

It may be hard since their toxic nature is the reason why I avoid interacting with them. I have a zero-tolerance level for toxicity and toxic vibes.

@HealingTalk

@lyricalAngel70

I agree that toxic people must be avoided.

Might not be their fault, but we must protect ourselves from harm.

Wasps sting innocently, just because it's in their nature.

We have to avert them to avoid hurt and pain.

Nothing personal, nor moral judgment about them.

Just a healthy practice.

Wow, I love how you incorporate accurate examples that are always to the point!

Thanks a bunch for your reply and the check-in!

Much love,

-Angel 💜💙
@HealingTalk

@lyricalAngel70

You are welcome, Angel!

And thank you for your kind words!

@HealingTalk

I love mother nature and everything it has to offer. It is just full of wonder.

@positiveWind451

It sure is!

I love Nature too, from the tiniest insect, the blade of grass, to the Milky Way, our galaxy, and the Universe as a whole!