Beyond Happiness - Fulfilling and Realistic Alternatives to Happiness as the Ultimate Purpose in Life
Beyond Happiness
Fulfilling and Realistic Alternatives to Happiness as the Ultimate Purpose in Life
Happiness has long been considered the ultimate purpose of life, a goal that most people strive to achieve. A continuous state of bliss and joy that we might attain at some point.
However, is this realistic? Is it the most meaningful way to live our lives?
Our global “modern” culture, which increasingly spreads worldwide, replacing traditional ones, bombards us with unrealistic goals and models of “Happiness” through a wide range of channels, like advertising, social media, self-help books and “motivational” and “positive” speakers.
These messages equate happiness with high income and the acquisition of material possessions, they pressure us to conform to arbitrary beauty ideals and lifestyle choices to gain social approval. They set unrealistic models of human relationships, where all romantic, friendship or family relations must be always perfect and pleasant, so we freak out with conflicts arise.
The propaganda and indoctrination to pursue this “Plastic Happiness” is particularly harmful to those of us struggling with Depression, as striving to be “Happy” as defined by our culture, might feel out of reach, backfire, and do more harm than good.
Some classical conceptions of Happiness differ much from the current one. For example, Aristotle's concept of Eudaimonia, which is achieving our best selves through developing our potential in all areas of life; Epicurus' view that happiness comes from enjoying small pleasures and friendships; and the Stoic focus on cultivating practical wisdom, living according to our values, and taking responsibility for ourselves.
There are also other valid and fulfilling alternative goals we might have as the ultimate purpose of our lives. We will briefly explore them here:
Alternatives to Happiness as the Ultimate Purpose of Life
Contentment
Contentment refers to a state of being satisfied with what one has. While it shares some similarities with happiness, contentment is not about experiencing constant pleasure or positive emotions. Instead, it involves accepting and appreciating one's present circumstances, even if they are not perfect. Contentment may not bring happiness, but it can provide a sense of inner peace and stability that happiness might not always offer.
Authenticity
Being authentic means being true to oneself, embracing one's unique qualities and values, and living in accordance with them. Authenticity might not lead to happiness if it involves making difficult or unpopular choices, like standing up for one's beliefs or asserting personal boundaries. Yet, living an authentic life can offer a deep sense of fulfillment and congruence that is separate from happiness.
Self-Expression
Self-expression involves openly and honestly sharing one's thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It may not always result in happiness, as we might expose ourselves and feel more vulnerable by expressing our genuine beliefs, which can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful. However, self-expression allows for personal growth, connection with others, and the opportunity to be seen and understood, which, when we find twin souls and like-minded people (which is impossible if they don’t know what we think) can lead to a sense of belonging and validation.
Creativity
Creativity is the process of generating new ideas, making connections, and expressing oneself in novel and imaginative ways. Pursuing creative endeavors may not always bring happiness, as at times they can be challenging, frustrating, or met with criticism. Nonetheless, engaging in creative activities can lead to a sense of accomplishment, personal growth, and a deeper understanding of oneself and the world.
Ethical behavior
Living one's life according to our ethical principles and values, guiding our actions and decisions according to our inner sense of right and wrong, can provide a sense of integrity, self-respect, and inner peace. Acting according to one's conscience might not always lead to happiness, as it can require making difficult choices, sacrificing one's own desires for the greater good. or confronting uncomfortable truths.
Understanding Reality
The pursuit of knowledge involves seeking to understand the world and ourselves more deeply. This can involve formal education, reading, or engaging in intellectual discussions. Acquiring knowledge may not always lead to happiness, as it can reveal harsh truths or challenge our beliefs. However, it can also broaden our horizons, foster curiosity, and promote personal growth. The pursuit of knowledge can lead to feelings of awe, wonder, and humility in the face of the amazing Reality that surrounds us, the wonders of Nature, of Humanity, and of our vast Universe.
Contribution to a Worthy Cause
Contributing to a worthy cause means working towards something greater than oneself, such as addressing social issues, helping others, or protecting the environment. Such pursuits might not always bring happiness, given that they can involve facing tough realities, hard work, sacrifice, and emotional strain. However, they can also offer a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment, knowing that one's efforts make a difference in the world.
Spirituality
Spirituality encompasses the search for meaning, connection, and a sense of the transcendent. It might not always lead to happiness, as spiritual journeys can involve searching and questioning, and periods of confusion or doubt. But spirituality can also deepen our understanding of ourselves, foster inner peace, and promote wholeness and integration.
Self-Actualization
Self-actualization refers to the process of realizing and fulfilling one's full potential. It might not bring happiness, as it can require facing challenges, pushing oneself, and confronting limitations. However, self-actualization can lead to personal growth, a sense of achievement, and ultimately, the realization of one's true self.
Conclusion
The ultimate purpose of life is a deeply personal and subjective matter. We can choose as our ultimate purpose of life among many fulfilling and valid alternatives.
On one hand, Happiness can be understood in very different ways to those imposed by our materialistic, superficial, discriminatory and stereotypical culture.
This might be particularly valuable for those of us struccling with Depression as striving to be “Happy” as defined by our culture, might feel out of reach, backfire, and do more harm than good.
There are many alternatives that can provide equal or greater value to our path in life. We have briefly explored worthy life purpose alternatives that can offer depth, fulfillment, and meaning. By exploring them, we can discover the unique path that feels right to us, and brings us the greatest sense of meaning, purpose and fulfillment.
This post is part of the “International Day of Happiness” Event by the Depression Support SubCommunity. For information about this Day celebration on the UN website: click here
See the Depression Support SubCommunity Event Masterpost by clicking HERE.
@HealingTalk. Very thoughtful post! I don’t think a state of constant happiness is realistic. I like the idea of finding some areas of contentment in life.
@adventurousBranch3786
Thank you, Branch!
A value much your comments, as I have high regard for your judgment.
A life of contentment is a wise and fulfilling life.
Appreciating what we have instead of striving for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, can bring us some inner peace and the opportunity to enjoy all those small and big good things we have.
I didn't know that the International day of happiness was a thing until today.
Regarding the topic, I strongly believe that it is a very well-chosen subject, to begin with. Moreover, happiness and contentment have always fascinated me because a content person can be happy but a happy person may not necessarily be content with whatever they have.
If you ask me, happiness will be always seen attached to some materialistic thing or a person which soon perishes. Contrarily, contentment remains with people in their hearts forever. And it is not attached to any luxurious thing or any desired person. It means that you are just satisfied with the things you have regardless of whether they match your standards or desires.
Thank you for an interesting discussion.
@HealingTalk
@lyricalAngel70
Thank you, Angel! for your thoughtful comments!
This is a very interesting and important point, how some approaches to life might be more robust and others more fragile.
And related to that, how some might make you more dependent on external things, while others might be fulfilled on your own, making you more independent and less vulnerable to the external contingencies of life.
I am glad that you have found this discussion interesting.
Thank you again for coming here to share your valuable thoughts!
All the best!
Marcelo.
Thank you for having us here and for your reply.
@HealingTalk
I've been told that happiness doesn't exist. I've been told that it isn't possible. I've also been told that happiness can be achieved through helping or complimenting others.
The pursuit of happiness is a right in the U.S.A., but not happiness itself. So one can try to achieve happiness, but happiness itself is not guaranteed.
I've never looked for happiness, because I didn't think it was possible, anyway. I want to achieve something, but I don't know what.
@WharfRat
Hi WharfRat !
Thank you for coming here to this check-in!
I agree with you that happiness as a continuous permanent state is elusive if not impossible.
There is a phenomenon called the "hedonic treadmill" or "hedonic adaptation" by which we quickly return to a baseline level of happiness, which depends on each person (it might be low for some), even after great improvements or success in our life (it has been tested with lottery winners for example).
The initial happiness we experience from those changes gradually fades. So chasing permanent happiness might be futile, as we'll face diminishing returns on our emotional satisfaction. No matter how many positive experiences we collect or goals we achieve, our happiness will always return to its baseline level, which is mostly set and fixed for each person according to many eminent researchers in this field (See this article https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meditation-for-modern-life/201709/your-set-point-for-happiness).
I also agree that helping others makes you feel much better. It does to me, also here as a 7 Cups Listener.
So that might be a great life goal.
If you want to achieve some ultimate life goal but don't know what it might be, you might start by reflecting on each point of the list I compiled. I did it for those who, like you, don't consider happiness a valid ultimate goal, but wish there could be one they might focus on.
This list is not exhaustive, you might think of many other possibilities.
The ultimate purpose of life is a personal choice. We can choose it among many fulfilling and valid alternatives. By doing that, we can discover the one that feels right to us and brings us the greatest sense of meaning, purpose and fulfillment.
I encourage you to take some time to reflect on this.
Even if you don't reach a conclusion, it could be an interesting thought experiment, that might help you know yourself better.
Thank you again for coming here to share your thoughts!
All the best!
Marcelo.
The article that you have cited is so much interesting ♥️
Thank you so much for the thoughtful insight and for sharing your in-depth knowledge with us here.
Love,
-Angel
@HealingTalk
And not to forget, helping others is one of the surest ways towards finding happiness and solace within ourselves. That pretty much explains why we all love 7 Cups so much.
As for me, it gives me immense pleasure to know that I can help someone through mere 1-on-1 chats, anonymously ♥️
We don't realize how powerful and beneficial talking alone can be about our issues
@HealingTalk
@lyricalAngel70
I agree.
In my case "7 Cups" means the sum of real-life stories of people, some coming from severe situations, that benefited enormously from this surprisingly effective system of anonymous chats.
Sometimes it made me happy, sometimes it made me sad. But it was always meaningful.
And I have more need for meaning than happiness in my life.
It is true and you mentioned it so correctly. A sum of real-life stories is the accurate wording if you ask me.
Another thing that interests me is the fact that we don't know these members and they don't know us we don't even know each other as listeners, mentors, leaders, etc yet within this anonymity, there is a sense of trust. Whereas, this is quite opposite outside 7 Cups. In real life, we only trust someone whom we have known for years and could depend on them, isn't that fascinating? :)
Lastly, do you remember what made you happy and sad? Also, as you said you are interested in the meaning of happiness, what is your context? Are you referring to life?
And why is meaning more important to you than happiness? I'm curious to know!
Although contentment and peace interest me more, people, in general, crave happiness more than anything.
@HealingTalk
@lyricalAngel70
Yes, it's such a paradox that we trust so much anonymous people. And that we might have such intense emotional connections. I would never have imagined it would be possible.
I get sad when I get to know some terrible realities and suffering. Particularly when something bad happens to a recurring member or a friend I made here. Progress in their lives makes me happy. Or even a chat that made a difference.
Happiness doesn't contradict with meaning. Those examples of happy things are also meaningful. But meaning trumps happiness to me. For example, making company to someone in pain might not make you happy, but might be a more meaningful use of time than the most enjoyable activity.
Meaningful is what I feel has a reason in accordance with my values so it's the right thing to do. It's where I must be, not doing something else somewhere else.
Meaning is more important because at the end of the day, or of my life, I prefer I had spent my time doing meaningful things than being happy.
This preference is part an informed choice and part the result of life experiences, I think.
Part reason and part emotion.
I just want to save this entire article and all the comments because I am finding them very helpful. I have never been searching for happiness because I also don't believe it's something that is set. Happiness means something different to each person much like success. I know money doesn't make me happy or feel successful, a job doesn't make me feel happy or successful even though I loved doing must of my jobs, My children and pets make me happy most of the time, but not all of the time. Actually they bring me joy not happiness. Happiness meaning and successful all mean the same thing to me and that is that I have been some help to others, and that I can see the love emanating from them. Thankfully I have found that most often through the worst of times.
It is a curious property of happiness (& also, I believe, of contentment) that often the surest way to not have it is to believe we have a right to it, & to keep running after it.
Thus far, the impression I get is that any contentment or joy in life only comes as a byproduct of achieving something else.
This article is well-written, engaging, and backed by sound research, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of what it means to live a meaningful life. Overall, I highly recommend this blog to anyone looking to expand their perspective on happiness and find realistic alternatives for living a fulfilling life.