Depression Support Check-in: April 1st - 15th 2023
Hey everyone! April is finally here and I'm here to do a quick check in with you. Regardless of how you are doing at the moment, I want to remind you that you're doing your best to get through all of this. Our check in questions are right here. Feel free to answer any of them.
1) How are you feeling today physically and mentally?
2) What is a high and low that you encountered recently?
3) Do you anything that's been circling in your mind these days? Feel free to share with us more about it.
I think that's all for this check in. Thank you for being here with us. Until next time, take care and stay safe. We care for you and don't forget you matter no matter what.
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Hi, I should let people know how I'm doing.
Physically, I think I'm ok. Still tired, but at least I'm not completely exhausted. I've been going on walks with my dog which I think has helped.
Mentally, I'm not sure. There's a lot going on. There's a lot I want to do and also things I should be doing, but time and motivation are scarce. Video games have helped me cope at least.
I've had a lot more time to do things now. I made some music that sounds ok, I downloaded sea of thieves and started playing that. It was fun. I got a bunch of opera gx extensions with music. I'm watching a playthrough of disco elysium which is one of the strangest and most fascinating games I have come across.
It's been quite stressful lately. Exams are approaching and my parents never fail to remind me. They expect me to be working and stuff, which is the only reason I'm allowed on this computer.. And then they get angry and take stuff away when I'm not.
There's been a lot. Like i dont know where to find the motivation to actually prepare for exams. But there's also other stuff that I want to do. But there is only so much time that I have. And I dont know how ill survive in the future when there's gonna be even more work and pressure.
I'm going back to the open seas now.
Do what you need to do in small mini steps. The more that you look at the whole picture the more overwhelming it seems. @creeperthecat
1) How are you feeling today physically and mentally?
I am mostly feeling tired, but okay. The best I've felt in a while. I think the only real issue I'm dealing with is allergies having me feel foggy headed a very slightly disoriented. I hope the allergy meds work and that I can snort enough pollen to become more accustomed to it LOL.
2) What is a high and low that you encountered recently?
Low for today was letting my hypochondria (briefly) win. The high was I got the last loaf of everything sourdough at Aldis!
3) Do you anything that's been circling in your mind these days? Feel free to share with us more about it.
I've just been sick and it's been taking a toll on me. I don't get sick very often, so when I do I'm always convinced that This Is It. It's odd that I am able to be Aware I am overreacting at some point, but still not be able to do much about it. I wish I could jut feel unwell, rest and recover like most people and not dwell, look up info on symptoms and be ultimately told Im terminal by search engines and con myself into thinking I'm getting side effects of the medications. (Although th is time around I WAS RIGHT and was suffering from a side effect LOL )
I hope that the allergies feel much better soon. @doeji
1) How are you feeling today physically and mentally?
I'm so-so physically. I have chronic pain in a few places - pain that has been there for years. The doctors really don't care and don't do anything about it.
2) What is a high and low that you encountered recently?
The high, if anything, would be surviving the task of facilitating the creative writing group where I go for group support. I never know who will show up from one week to the next. I've had anywhere from one to five people in the group. The low point would be in the way that I feel about my situation in total. It doesn't seem like things will ever change. I haven't been able to lose this weight, for example.
My big breakdown came after my 40-year-reunion in 2019. There will probably be a 45-year-reunion next year. I have conflicting thoughts and feelings about that. I would like to see that certain woman there. if she comes, and tell her how I feel. On the other hand, that could go as badly as the 2019 reunion. Things would really need to change it to go well. I have definitely changed in some ways mentally, I think, since then, but maybe not enough. Maybe I should stay away from future reunions, but then, I'll never get to tell her how I feel.
3) Do you anything that's been circling in your mind these days? Feel free to share with us more about it.
I have this same old daydream that I've developed since that reunion. It's like ruminative thinking, this same daydream running through my head all of the time. It wastes my time and energy and distracts me from what I should be thinking about. It's mainly about a future reunion where I'm able to impress her and get her to notice me. It' seems very immature, as I've had such daydreams since I was a little boy and had a crush on a girl in grade school, then a crush on a girl in junior high school, and a crush on a girl in high school. It's all been very painful, liking someone and having to keep it to yourself. Unrequited love is terrible.
How far away is the reunion? It does sound hard to be ruminating about it for so long. What kinds of things do you do to distract yourself?@WharfRat
@bestVase7265
The reunion is right here in my hometown, where I still live. I have a friend who is a chiropractor. I've been seeing him ever week for a few months and we both were at the reunion and we both know the woman I need to "forget". He kind of understands the situation and has helped a little.
Good. Get out and do lots of other things too. If the ruminating gets bad, write out what you would say to the person and then put the piece of paper in a drawer. @WharfRat
😭1. physically, i'm exhausted. Melatonin gummies work at times and they don't at others. I'm running on very little energy. Mentally, i'm numb. I got to the point where I can't cry. I just can't smh.
2. The high that i've been experiencing lately is that i've decided to get back on the horse and go back to school in the fall. The low is that i'm scared i might fail the same class again.
3. the one thing that's been circling my mind is that i've had a death in my family. This Wednesday marks a full month since I've lost this family member and i've refused to grieve. I almost relapsed many times since the funeral and I don't know how to keep going forward. I'm just lost. I don't know how to get through this and i've been through many losses before this one😭
Grief can come in all sorts of stages. Give yourself some time.
It is hardest when you aren't sleeping. Have you tried other things besides melatonin?@BrokenAngelxx
@BrokenAngelxx don't worry too much. Everyone will physically exhausted some time feel free to take rest and go with the flow enjoy what you like to do in a slow phase.
It's good to go back to school. But don't be scared you will be pass the class. Think about the positive moment you spent in the school.
I am sorry about the loss you go through in your life. Everyone in this life going to come to an end but we don't know the time. Don't think too much. They achieve the purpose in the life time. Don't worry about that.
I know it's been a while since I was on here. Moved to another state and got a new phone so i lost the app for a while, but things havent been too kind to me. I did try an outpatient group therapy program to try and help, which failed spectacularly. I put forward my best, but the people there clearly did not understand or respect my disabilities so its back to square one with no therapist and no one to really talk to.
I may be on disability but i still have no support and no help other than financial. Being near the rest of my family has only made me feel more isolated. Family gatherings at the house are usually as large as they can get people to come over and im not usually told sometimes until the day of, and even then i get killer headaches from the stress that i cant stay with the rest of my family for long. My mom has gotten on my case about it before, and like I can't control my headaches or my stress. My intrusive thoughts and general mental state have only worsened and i have no idea what to do. The next level up from that outpatient place i went to is inpatient and i highly doubt i would even be able to go even if i needed to.....
I am sorry that things feel so rough right now. It can be really hard to find the right support network. Sometimes you have to try multiple times and in multiples places. Have you considered talking to your regular doctor at all? @shinylucariomasi
I have talked to my doctor about therapy, yeah. Not so much about the headaches, since i just started seeing her as my doctor recently. Things are also super slow on finding a therapist that best fits my needs and insurance, and even then there's the potential of a long wait time to even be accepted...
That wait can be really hard. What kinds of things are you doing to manage it? Are you taking okay care of yourself?@shinylucariomasi
The headaches can be managed by taking some painkillers, but sometimes they take a bit of time to work. Physically im taking care of myself but mentally is a mess that I dont wanna touch right now so im kinda just distracting myself as much as I can. Due to insomnia i end up going to bed at around 2-5 am or not at all, but i usually nap at some point during the day so im not doing all that well.
Are you trying any herbs or medications to try to help with the sleep? That can be the hardest part. Sending you some good rest. @shinylucariomasi
Ive tried melatonin before but it didnt work so i didnt try any other sleep meds. Im thinking of trying sleepy time herbal teas, but i dont like watered down tea or how most tea like that tastes. I havent tried anything besudes the melatonin though, and i just dont like the sleepyness that that kind of stuff brings anyways. Its a struggle haha
It can be a struggle. You might try just a little magnesium citrate. I take about a half a tablet when I really can't sleep. It doesn't make me too drowsy in the morning. There is also a powder called Calm that has magnesium in it.
The key is to keep experimenting, but start with small doses.
I hope that you are sleeping better soon. @shinylucariomasi
I'll keep that in mind, though i think my insomnia is mainly caused by my ADHD, anxiety and stress at the moment. And right now I am not taking any medication due to not being sure if anything was working and feeling right to me, but with the move its gonna take some time for me to even be perscribed anything and even then i worry it isnt going to work like i feel i need my meds to work.
It can be totally frustrating to find just the right balance. I hate it too. It took me a few years and a series of doctors to get what I needed.
I am slowly trying to taper off, especially during the summer when I have less anxiety and things to do. That is where the magnesium is hopefully going to help for any rough patches.
But all we can really do is try. @shinylucariomasi
Hi. Mentally I'm more or less okay; physically...meh.
The pollen count has been unusually high for the last few days, which is one reason why I have a sore throat & worse congestion than usual. Not to mention that chronic cough & idling engine voice right now...you would think I'm a two-pack-a-day kinda guy. But I've never smoked cigarettes in my life.
This has, of course, aggravated my main chronic condition. With all these things going on I don't have much energy to do necessary tasks. My place is a mess. Really need to do laundry...f***sticks.
In recent days, for the first time in my life I wish there was someone to help me with these things. It is not a welcomed thought.
Been drinking plenty of water & hot tea.
The only bright spot is finishing a little project I started several days ago. I have three tungsten carbide sharpeners...I cut the rubber off the handles of two of them. Then I grabbed a length of 3-strand hemp braid that I made late last year. Three days ago I finished wrapping it around the handle of one sharpener. Epoxy holds it on. I can post a pic if you want, though it's not that important...
That physical stuff can wear you down. How are you tonight?@slowdecline48
A bit better, thanks for asking....
Am on a couple medicines for what is ailing me, which is apparently bronchitis or "upper respiratory infection" (if memory serves). Hopefully they'll knock it out.
I hope that you are now back to your regular self!@slowdecline48
@kdsyahirah
Hi! I'm new here so I thought I would dive right in.
1) How are you feeling today physically and mentally?
Today I am feeling a little tired and fatigued. i guess from stress and other things, which would be mental as well as physical.
2) What is a high and low that you encountered recently?
A high that i had recently was being able to take the mock chat test to become a verified listener. I would be so excited to become one! A low recently was a fight I had with my husband. :(
3) Do you anything that's been circling in your mind these days? Feel free to share with us more about it
I haven't really had any thoughts that have been repeating in my mind lately. Which is a surprise because I usually do.
Stress can really take a toll on you on so many levels. What kinds of things do you do as stress relievers? @Justlaura7973
Do anyone else feel alone in a room full of people?
Definitely sometimes. @LostQueenOfIsrael
@bestVase7265 I feel like this all the time. I feel like a background character in my own life.
So what would you like things to look like? @LostQueenOfIsrael
I would like for everyone to be included. No one to ever feel the way that I do.
Hi again, thanks for the check-in
1) How are you feeling today physically and mentally?
Not my best, have to be honest. I haven't been to the gym in what feels like ages and since I need to be preparing for a serious exam I can't really relax and go for a walk, I'd feel guilty and unproductive. So I'm mainly just sitting in my room, trying to work through tests while also not being able to focus properly. Great times /s
2) What is a high and low that you encountered recently?
Hm my most recent high is not that exciting I think. First things that come to mind is rather when a task or some obstacle-kind-of-thing gets removed from my path so I can breathe a bit lighter. Like for example this organization lady saying that no I don't have a problem with my ID. And low would be the moment previous to a high where I'm anxious and super-focused on a random thing that I'm now sure would result in everything falling apart (as in thinking I have a problem with said ID and being nervous about it for two days)
3) Do you anything that's been circling in your mind these days? Feel free to share with us more about it.
Everything is just too much and too fast while also too little and too slow at the same time. I don't have a certain thought to share, but I'm just exhausted from this back and forth. I can't sleep it off and I can't stop experiencing it.
It is so nice to see you back! I haven't seen your name in a while.
I am glad to hear that you continue to plug away at school. Exams can be really tough in terms of mental health. Don't feel too guilty about not getting to the gym. Are there other mini breaks that you could do instead? @eugenNerd
@bestVase7265 and thank you for being there still. It's nice to see a familiar face once in a while.
I did manage to go to the gym today, so that freshened me up a bit.
That is great. It really helps with stress management. @eugenNerd
Hello ,
I am new here and i’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for majority of my life. This past month I have attempted about 2 times. Each time I come down from the building from where i was going to jump, I hate myself even more because i think “why didn’t i just do it?” “i should have done it”. I feel like people do not truly love or care about me and only use me for their benefit. When I think about killing my self people will tell me things like they care and love me but why doesn’t it feel like it? Why does it feel like the world is against me? Lately nothing in my life is going well. Not any of my friendships, relationships, or work life is going well and I think about suicide everyday. I’m trying to distract myself but it is so hard to fight this.
nobody cares and nobody ever will.
People here do care. You just have to let us in to more of your journey. Many of us have been in your shoes. @resourcefulPineapple3710