Depression Daily check in Feb 9-10th,2021

1. Today was a rough one. I woke up at 2 am to make sure that my son was up for work. It has bee. So cold here that my car battery died. Got a new one last night but left it in my son's car. Took a melotine to go back to sleep but was wide awake at 5 am. My son isn't back so I can put my battery in. Running late. Had to ask my neighbor to jump my car so I could get my wife to work. Sons rolls in around 11 am. Finally start to replace me battery. My battery is in the worse location every. Practically under the dashboards so I had to take the dash off. Cut the crap out of my finger. Get the battery on and break one of my windshield wipers. Don't get to spend time with my wife again today. Today was a doozy but I am not in a bad mood. Just here. 2. When I really want to treat myself. I will get some ice cream. Mint cookies and cream to be exact. 3. I am a big guy. Like real big. But I get hit on all the time. I don't know why. I am constantly being told I look good and smell good. I want to be able to believe that I am all those things. I miss having confidence.

1.) Best as I can, still struggling 2.) Chocolate and funny movies. Spending time with my family 3.) Im not really sure yet...but I think getting better at dealing with my intrusive thoughts

@Goldcherry2113

1. How are you doing?

I’m hanging in there.

2. What is your favorite thing to treat yourself?

Ice cream is the first thing that came to mind.But I also like buying nail polish, and getting a pizza in a pizza shop, freshly baked, right out of their ovens.

3. What habit do you want to start for self love?

Taking myself somewhere I’d love to go.

1. I’ve been better. I just need some help. 2. I have recently taught myself electric bass and I play it during the spare time I do get. 3. Telling myself maybe I’m not all that ugly, pathetic, and unloveable.

@Goldcherry2113

1.) How are you doing? I'm a bit tired, but I feel better today... I don't know exactly why. I didn't have an argument with my mother this morning but she was sleeping, sometimes I don't want to wake her up just so I can avoid speaking to her... Is that bad? We get into the most heated arguments about the slightest things and I just don't have the energy to argue with her.

2.) What is your favorite thing to treat yourself? I like taking some time to paint, my mom got me these paint by number canvases and I like putting on some instrumental rock music and just zoning out on my painting

3.) What habit do you want to start for self love? I don't know maybe those positive affirmations that everyone's always talking about

Not sure how I'm doing. My sleep has been on and off, the day before, I suddenly felt super tired after taking a shower; to a point where I couldn't keep my eyes open (and this was just before dinner time). I'm also preparing for a midterm for the end of this week. Feeling a bit iffy about going back to work next week for 4 days, been off since January 18th. I've been rejecting calls for shifts for my home department (had some mishaps with coworkers there and it's making me feel stressed and upset). I hesitate whenever I see my phone ringing (I have the ringer on mute). Trying to focus on schooling instead.

Treating myself by trying to sleep earlier, just so that I won't feel as tired for the work week.

So, the other day, my mum briefly mentioned that I should maybe change hospitals, change the work environment (she knows about those mishaps and how I feel towards those people now). Honestly, I was just thinking of leaving my home department and just work for the OR only. Even so, I'll still have times where I'd be communicating those coworkers on the phone. But that's better than face-to-face. The other problem is, there aren't as many shifts in the OR. There are only 2 casuals, including myself there. Right now, the other girl is covering a sick leave and working full-time hours, it's been probably almost 1.5 years. If the other lady returns, my current shifts will be given to the other casual instead (since her seniority is higher) and I'd be a back up. Which means, even lesser shifts than now. If that happens, the everyday expenses might be a bit tight, it's already tight now (should be better April and onwards, as there aren't as many going on vacation at the beginning of the year).

I honestly don't want to change hospitals, as the one I'm at is only a few minutes drive away. My thought of changing a work environment is leaving the country and go teach English somewhere else. That would be changing work environment and the people I work with; with Covid though, this kind of travelling won't be happening soon. That's why I need to focus on school to finish my Diploma during this time. I'm also behind on an online certificate course too, with my subscription expiring in May. I might need to extend it and pay extra!~

1. Not well. Finalize a divorce I don’t want and don’t understand tomorrow. I’m in agony, haven’t had a day without tears for more than a year. If I can keep it under an hour, it’s a good day 2. I stop working for a while 3. I don’t know, nothing seems to help. Sorry.

1. i honestly am not doing great, but what can you do! 2. i really like a good snack or something nice like that! sometimes i will buy things online but i have been trying to not do that as much. also sitting down and watching something and knitting is fun. 3. i want to start being better at doing laundry and my chores without feeling exhausted by them!

Im struggling. I want to cry constantly. I don't really treat myself to much, maybe a game or drink. I don't know.

Hi everyone!! :) 1. I'm feeling really good today. I had a therapy session that I really needed and I got to talk to a friend today. 2. Oh man chocolate is my favorite little treat!! That or a nice cup of coffee. The best. :) 3. I'd love to get back to working out. I always felt really good about myself when I can accomplish something hard. I hope the rest of the week is better for all of you struggling out there.