hey guys

@Anyakn0625 :) <3 

"Stuck in a loop of heartache and missing, I'm tried of being the one who does all the wishing. Yet through the pain I'll find my way, with the hope of meeting again to light my days."

Hi I’m quite new to this app so may I ask how to post questions or other things like ur doing here? I only know how to reply

To you who finds this truly broken glass , 🍷

I hope you fix and fill me, ⚒️

I'll overflow in adoration to , 🌊

Whoever finds and reminds me , 🗺️

Embrace is for them who confide with me , 🫂

Love is the true antidote, 💊

Oh you my future half , half 💙

To you my heart and soul are betrothed , 💍

Super random ? Yeah ik hahaha

_Fern 🌿

@Anyakn0625

A poem I wrote:

I’m sorry

For all the hurt I’ve caused and


The Life I’ve robbed and

The tumbling tumbling


Tumbling

Road you’ve taken

But I’m not sorry

For how you treated me and

How you didn’t see Despite

Your wrongs wrongs

Wrongs

I remain unshaken

I empathized and understood

What it’s like to be misunderstood

But you kept me in your silver claws

Always aware of all my flaws

I’m tired, so tired

It’s unbelievably cruel

Why do we have to

Fight this nonsense duel?

And still I triumph

But I’m still a Mistake

Nothing I do will change your ways

I wish, just wish

You finally find peace

So the weight of your

Burdens are all released

So I went off

Down that Tumbling Road

And I made it into my Humble Abode

@Anyakn0625 hmmm...If I wanted to say something I would tell my ex of 8 years whom I haven't spoken to since 2019, I would ask him Did you ever love me or were you just in it to cause me great pain and distress?

@Anyakn0625 I want to tell myself that the 5th cyborg leader of earth in 2064 will be vulnerable on July 5th when its stooping to pick up that can of grape soda, that's when you take the shot. :) (Of course I joke, or do I...?)

@Anyakn0625 I feel like I am doing too much for her, but she isn't doing it as well, how can I try to feel better? I think the best for me is to move on, but I would love to hear your thoughts.

----THIS poem is about a loved one's mental illness and my own experience with ptsd that i feel gave me a window into their world. this is the shadow of the poem words will not write. its texture, images, smells... tactile mirages of a giddy nightmare.. it is written with a reverent heart, a non-judgmental sentiment.:

fears ripened like fruit 

scent lofting from just behind the door

in the stale shadow of the longing down

i pried into the darkness of that repressive visage tore

sought for all i'd find in the reeling vanish of your love

i was struck with painful lust for the demons you'd endured

never thought such comfort could be from nagging haunts of mind

its your secret escape my lips could never reveal

you will not be discovered secret friend, they cannot comprehend 

loving your own perishing in the sanctity of your prison's seal

the freedom of the loss of sanity when you are finally giving in

lived in a small room made of teeth and feathers of the darkest birds

dissolved into choking fumes that permeated from the vibration of love's shaky words

i know the heaven that is kept in the hidden keep of ***

i know the chances of ever returning back from the poison once the tissue begins to swell

memories of the day i shared your little existence now faded

i can hear the screech of our tormentors with such crystal recall

and though i might have tried to save you 

two feet from you, in such darkness, i could never have found you there at all

... I forgive you for everything you did to me on Monday and hate you again on Tuesday . But I pray for you always. ...

To the one I promised forever...

I always loved you, sometimes overly so and that's what caused us to drift apart. I hope you knew that it was all out of love.

I knew when my friend told me you were spending time with someone else what that meant, but my trust in you was so pure. We were still young...

I hope you found your peace and happiness, even though you avoid me put in public. You accused me of spreading rumors that you were unfaithful, and it hurt more that you didn't trust me as much as I trusted you than you seeing the other man...

I'm sorry that you lost your dad. I went to the funeral and spoke with your mom and brother. I didn't know what to say to ease their burden. I love your dad and still miss him. You weren't there while we were there. They said you went to the back. I wish I could have helped you in your darkest time...

I still look at your social every once in a while, just to see how you guys are doing. Your kid is beautiful and looks like such a pure soul. Happy you finally got another sibling like you had wanted for years....

I'm doing okay, but my hearts a mess. When I said forever, I did mean it. I don't know that I can tell someone else with the sincerity that I told you "I'll love you forever". What am I supposed to do with forever now that you aren't in it?

I know you'll never see this. I hope you never do, because you'll just ask me to remove it since it doesn't fit everyone's image of us. Instead, you can keep being happy and I'll keep trying to find my way...

-D