hey guys

@Anyakn0625 trigger warning, death...... my son, my angel in heaven, there's so much I want to say to you, but most of all I want to say sorry that I couldn't protect you, from those evil people who took your life. I love you my angel, I know your safe now ❤

@Anyakn0625 I would say that I’m sorry I wasn’t able to love you like I so desperately wanted to. I’m sorry things had to end between us. I just couldn’t justify hiding our relationship from the world and my parents just because we were a WlW relationship. once they found out I just couldn’t put you through that you deserved someone who could love you openly and safely. I’ll still love you until the last flower dies, I still have it in my memory box, I still have the necklace you gave me and the drawings you made me nearly 7 years later. I hope you’re in a loving relationship with another woman and that she makes you endlessly happy you deserve nothing less. 

i wish i could’ve made you proud

@Anyakn0625

1. Conflict on the Cruise:

   • During the cruise, my mom's behavior was controlling, which led to a major argument. I felt suffocated and needed some space, so I requested an ocean view room with my brother and cousin.
   • I got upset at the dinner table, and my mom's response was excessive, involving physical aggression.

2. After the Cruise:

   • Since returning, my mom has been extremely harsh. She called me a dog and said I don't deserve anything from her. She's been spreading negative stories about me to others.
   • I tried to communicate my feelings through a heartfelt text, but she ignored it and continued treating me poorly.

3. Incidents of Verbal and Physical Abuse:

   • She berated me for communicating with my cousin and accused me of not loving her.
   • When she saw messages on my phone, she beat me and threatened to take away my private school education, which is crucial for my future.
   • She has been documenting my emotional reactions and sharing them with others, framing me as ungrateful and disloyal.

4. Financial and Emotional Manipulation:

   • Despite providing for me financially, such as paying for private school and buying new things, she uses these actions to guilt-trip me, making me feel undeserving.
   • She threatened to remove me from private school, which is my hope for scholarships and a good college education.

5. Emotional Impact:

   • I constantly feel on guard and anxious, fearing her next move. The emotional and physical toll is overwhelming.
   • She accuses me of being inhumane and blames me for the pain she feels, refusing to forgive me for consoling my cousin during the cruise conflict.

Moving Forward

Given the ongoing issues, I've decided that after high school, I will cut ties and focus on building my future independently. I want to attend university in England, specifically Bristol or Manchester, without any financial support from her. This includes covering tuition, food, and living expenses.

but at the same time I feel guilty because she planned a cruise that was thousands of dollars for me and bought me new shoes for school and a laptop. I know it doesn't excuse the emotional abuse but it doesn't prevent me from feeling guilty 

@Anyakn0625

this is really long and i don’t expect you to read all of it. it’s also very deep and mentions body shaming. so if you don’t feel comfortable reading it please don’t but thank you for making this thread anyway :)

-sunny

You say i’m mean to you and that i always yell. you blame me for things you were supposed to teach me as a kid. you’re supposed to support and love me and our family yet you’re out here cheating and even after being caught twice you still go at it thinking i don’t know. thinking i never knew the first time it happened. thinking i’m dumber than i am. you gaslight me every day and say i’m the mean one. you yell at me when i get a bit frustrated at a task i’m doing cuz it was stressful and now u added more stress on top. you say i don’t listen to you, but i do. i’ve just been hurt so much by you that the trust and respect i should be giving you is gone because you don’t trust, respect, or believe in me. and it hurts. you’re a parent. you think you’re a great one but all you have done is hurt me. you made me watch arguments in the house. you didn’t teach me things that you expect out of me now. you don’t give me freedom. you can’t let me be a kid. you always bring out negativity every time we go somewhere or if i’m in the room with you. you cussed me out when i was younger. but what hurts most is that you can be a good parent. i love spending time with you like going shopping together or just going out. but you don’t do that all the time. and it breaks my heart to be born in a family that i sometimes refer to as the fiery pits below. i don’t trust you with anything anymore. i don’t feel loved for no matter how much you say you love me. it hurts to her you body shame me all the time. “exercise so ur thighs get smaller” or “ur chest is so big u need to work out”. i used to starve myself because of this. because of all these negative things. but u don’t know that. you just say things and say “it’s because i love you”. so please, be a better person. no one likes a person who is racist, pessimistic, and a gossiper. and to top it all of, stop making names for my friends. it’s disrespectful and i hate it. 

be a better mother for me. at least my dad has some respect for me.

I will not forgive myself for what I did..but I miss you alot

@Anyakn0625

"I'm so sorry for everything I did, I wish i had apologised at that time and had been there for you, I think I'll miss you forever"

hi i just want to advocate against weaponized incompetency

You are angel for me just looking at you make me thankful to God