Bipolar Siblings
My sister and I are both bipolar. We have never gotten along well. We get into arguments a lot. They usually get nasty.
We are both single parents and we have both been in abusive relationships. We had been getting along much better lately. And then yesterday happened.
My sister got free tickets to a waterpark/amusement park, and two other attractions in a town about 2 hours away from where we live.
She offered to take me and my son with her. I drove, she provided the tickets.
The trip there went fine and we had a nice conversation while my son listened to his headphones.
Once we got into town the driving became stressful. It was really busy and I didn't know where we were going. My sister wanted to go shopping at a store, but she didn't know the name of it. She started giving me directions, but they were wrong. I told her I wanted to use GPS, but she said no, she knew the way. She would tell me where to turn at the last second. I was frustrated and anxious. When I almost hit a car trying to merge quickly in response to her directions I got angry. She told me not to get angry as it was upsetting her. I told her that I had a right to emotions and that she was being self-centered.
She called me ungrateful.
We tried to make up and control our emotions, but we just kept amping each other up all day long.
By the end of the day it had gotten really ugly. We both admitted it was both of our faults and both felt really bad for my son.
But by that point I was so angry and anxious that I felt like I was going to explode.
My sister was crying and afraid.
We were both incredibly sad.
We were both really mean to each other.
At one point I told her she had to take a bus home. That was going to far and I know. I was going to do it though. In my mind I thought, "I am not going to take this abuse anymore!"
Fortunately, my conscious spoke up and I changed my mind.
But I had terrified my sister.
The strange thing is I don't feel guilty about it. I always feel guilty when I hurt someone. I just feel angry and hurt.
I sure our behavior had a lot to do with our relationships with the opposite sex in the past.
My ex-wife was physically and emotionally abusive.
I have always loved my sister, even though we don't get along. Now I just hate her.
I know none of this is healthy and yes I will be talking about this with my therapist.
I told my sister that I would talk to my therapist on Tuesday and then call and apologize.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Anger issues for sure.
But I will say that every time I got angry yesterday it was provoked. That doesn't excuse my behavior though.
I don't know. My dad says that we shouldn't spend a lot of time together
Maybe that is for the best...
@egret35 Hello, I want you to know that I'm here to listen and support you through this challenging situation with your sister. It sounds like the trip to the water park took an unexpected turn and resulted in intense arguments and hurtful words exchanged between both of you.
Given your shared experiences of being bipolar, single parents, and having endured abusive relationships, it's understandable that emotions can run high, especially in stressful situations like navigating unfamiliar places. The added pressure and miscommunication during the trip likely contributed to the escalation of tension.
It's positive that you recognize the unhealthy nature of the conflict and acknowledge the need to discuss it with your therapist. Seeking professional guidance can provide you with valuable insights and strategies to manage your anger and emotions effectively.
Apologizing to your sister and acknowledging the impact of your words and actions is a significant step toward repairing the relationship. It's essential to express your remorse and open the lines of communication to rebuild trust.
Remember that forgiveness and healing take time. It's normal to experience conflicting emotions, such as anger and hurt, in the aftermath of such intense conflicts. Processing these emotions with the help of your therapist can assist in finding healthier ways to cope with triggers and resolve conflicts in the future.
Regarding your father's suggestion about limiting time spent together, it's worth considering how to establish healthy boundaries in your relationship with your sister. Reflect on what is best for your well-being and the well-being of your son. Balancing time together with self-care and personal boundaries can contribute to a more harmonious dynamic. However, ultimately, the decision on how to move forward and handle your relationship rests with you and your sister.
Take care of yourself and prioritize your own healing process. Remember that growth and change are possible, and with dedication and support, you can find healthier ways to manage conflicts and nurture your relationships.
I am sorry that the trip to the water park ended badly in the car. I am also bipolar but I have anxiety on top of it which is why I've never had my license I renewed my permit recently though. I'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to. I'm guessing your son is very young and isn't old enough to understand yet. I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" because I don't, however hate is a very strong word and since you both have bipolar disorder it would be best to make an attempt to work things out with your sister if possible. I agree that going to the therapist is a very good decision on your part.
Remember you are NOT a bad person because of your bipolar disorder. I have episodes too even though I am medicated. No one is perfect and everyone has problems. You never know what someone is going through behind closed doors. I don't judge anyone because of this. I'm nice and respectful to everyone it doesn't cost any money to be kind and kindness can easily make someone's day and put a smile on their face.
Stay strong and I wish you the best with your situation.