What's something you wish more people understood about having ASD?
For me the list is fairly easy
-ASD mean that there's a difference between how I see myself and how people see me so I don't always see how action A will lead to consequence B
I often experience a disconnect between how I view me and how people view me. ***. I automatically think other people see the things I say and do the same way I do and miss how what I'm saying or doing come across or how others may view it.
-ASD means that I can go into emotional overload and pull an ASD doorslam
Emotionally charged situations [especially conflicts] tend to give me an emotional overload so I often pull what I call an ASD doorslam and cut myself off from the person causing me to be emotionally overwhelmed, and self-isolate with people who make me feel safe. People think it's because I hate them, or don't care about them when it's not really the case. Sometimes I just need space to process events and regulate my own emotions. I'm not the kind of person who can just automatically deal with conflict when it happens. I need time for reflection and I'm slower to see other peoples views. But it doesn't mean I'm incapable of seeing things from other's perspective. It just means it takes time.
-ASD means I have a unique brand of empathy
The way I view people isn't neurotypical but it doesn't mean I don't care. I can be sympathetic but not exactly empathetic, or sometimes vise versa. I go through these on and off periods of caring for someone to an insane degree and not caring for someone? Also while I don't view people as objects I have a *special* preconceptions about who they are supposed to be and how they fit into my inner-world if that makes sense? And if they don't fit that mold it can be confusing and overwhelming for me. Another thing I wish they understood is that sometimes I form attachments to people not exactly because of who they are but I get attached to their place in my world and form a rhythm in how I interact with them and get attached to that rhythm? But at the same time it doesn't mean I don't care about them at all, or use them.
-ASD means I won't automatically understand things
Given the way my brain works, I'm not good at filling in the blanks. I don't always get that A leads to B. Sometimes I'm only seeing A, or I'm only seeing B or sometimes I think B is actually C or A is actually D. Sometimes you'll have to be patient with me and explain.
Finally and the number 1 thing I wish people understood...
-I have extreme anxiety about the way people see me
Oh my goshhhhh the world would be a tremendously better place if more people understood that I can get emotionally overwhelmed in situations neurotypical people can handle, and that I have severe anxiety about the way people see me. It's not so much that I don't want to socialize, I'm perfectly capable of that, it's just that I can get severely self-conscious about other peoples opinion of me, that, and I socialize in a way neurotypicals don't.
Don't get me wrong imao, I'm shy as a fawn, but give me a chance to talk about my interests, or give me a social pattern I'm familiar with and I'll talk nonstop :P
Anyway yeah, that's my two cents on what I wish more people understood about having ASD :P
@Zevia1MM
Hello, Zevia,
This is such an important post. I think insight affords us the opportunity to understand things and support one another better. I can relate to a lot of what you describe here.
I think another important aspect is the difference between those with ASD being receptive, expressive, or both. I have met many non-verbal individuals who understand everything being said to them, which I think is a common misconception.
I also have anxiety, but not related to what others think of me. Socializing to me feels like a math word problem: "If you throw a pancake on the roof how many triangles do you have?"
Thanks for spreading awareness and sharing your experience! ❤️
@blitheSun94
I'm glad I could provide an opportunity for greater understanding, and spread awareness asdfhasfh that's my main goal in life and I'm happy I've managed to achieve it here.
Yeah, I completely understand your point about the difference about those with ASD being receptive or expressive. Sometimes we receive things quite well, we just aren't sure how to express them and I suppose the opposite may be true in some cases.
Everyone with ASD is an individual and sees social interaction differently I suppose :) I primarily see it through the lens of social anxiety and figuring out what keeps me safe, where as some may see it as math, the way you described.
@Zevia1MM
Hello again, Zevia,
I certainly have anxiety, but I believe that is rooted in my ptsd/panic disorder diagnoses. Socializing itself doesn't give me anxiety, I just have zero interest in it. I would never leave my home again if I didn't have to. Large groups of people and minimal exit strategies can trigger my anxiety. I don't know that I ever feel truly safe.
I am not diagnosed with ASD, but I have an extensive working history with this population and have reason to believe I fall on the spectrum myself. I am so grateful you are sharing your insight with others! ❤️
@Zevia1MM
I wish more people understood what its really like to live with asd, rather than the stereo typical media portrayal of train obsessed or math genius boys. Not to say those don't happen, but it's definitely not the only thing. Far from it. It's a huge spectrum and most people only know a tiny portion of it.
Some people get uncomfortable with labelling asd as a disability as well, and it irritates me when some people instead call it a 'superpower' because that is honestly the furthest thing from the truth. (to me anyway). I'm not denying that yes, there are positive things with how my brain works, but it's not entirely positive or makes me a 'genius' or 'superhuman'. It is still a disability, and honestly, to me, it can be utterly debilitating. The world is incredibly difficult for me to function in, in more ways than I could ever explain, and there are an endless amount of struggles it creates. There are so many things I cannot do, things that cause pain and distress and exhaustion and decreased ability in all areas of life. It is too difficult for me to explain just how much I struggle because of it. I appreciate my brain and what it can do - but it does not take away from the fact often I cannot cope.
And on a similar note, I wish more people would understand disability is not a bad word, or a 'bad' thing to be.
I equally want people to understand I'm not unable to do things either, I just need support and accommodations and time. Some patience and understanding goes a long way.
When understanding asd, its important for people to know both sides of it, the positive and negative. Because both exist. And that no two people with asd will present the same way.
Very well said, Cat. I am sorry it’s been so difficult for you. You bring up some very important points, my favorite being that ASD presents differently for each individual. Thank you for sharing! 💕
@SleepyShyCat
'And on a similar note, I wish more people would understand disability is not a bad word, or a 'bad' thing to be.
I equally want people to understand I'm not unable to do things either, I just need support and accommodations and time. Some patience and understanding goes a long way.
When understanding asd, its important for people to know both sides of it, the positive and negative. Because both exist. And that no two people with asd will present the same way. '
I agree with that 100%