social isolation
all my life i just wanted to mean something. like i was making an impact on the people i care about. everyday i ask how they are and how their day went, but theres a part of me that feels like theyre getting bored with me and they dont really feel the same way as i do.
i know its selfish to want someones attention all to yourself but how can you get over someone who meant a lot to you? whats worse is that this person lead you on. and other than that, you feel too anxious to hang out with your own circle of friends because you cant enjoy things anymore like you used to. everything feels awkward.
you try to open up about how you feel, but later on the thought just sinks in. you feel like a filler to these people. and you feel alone. you really wish your friends would say hello to you or ask you about your day as well like how you do for them.
i think the sad part here is that these are the nicest people you ever met and you finally belong to a circle you can be most comfortable with..
you made a very big impact on my life they say, but a few months later they just dont talk to you anymore. theyll respond, but they only do it to be polite.
was i too weird? was i too clingy? did i care too much? maybe i shouldve been more apathetic? why would they call me their friend? why did they even choose to call me their friend in the first place at all? i wish i knew. i wish id stop thinking too much about it. so i just.. disappeared for a while. but its sad they dont notice
This happens to me a lot, also. 
I think part of it is because along with social anxiety, I'm an introvert "INFP" personality, and this personality type tends to prefer deeper & more meaningful conversations which a good lot of extroverts in today's society appear to consider as "boring".
I recently had a friend on here, who mentioned to me before that he is an extrovert and constantly refers to himself as "one of a kind" ghost me for an unexplained reason, and I keep wondering if maybe he thought I was boring? It doesn't matter to me much now because I have two good friends on here that I PM with regularly that are both introverts and are more likely to understand the INFP (and INFJ) personality type. 
@niceDaisy36 --> I'm tagging you to this post because I think you'll find it very interesting! 
@AbbyHarris1976
Thanks for tagging me 
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I am also INFP, HSP and have social anxiety as well. I am not in social medias and hence everywhere the so called friends/classmates i had, alienated me and thought be boring. I am not in the latest craze of pic and social medias even.
i have seen many fallen friendships whom i trusted but they ended up being the betrayers. I remember some people in my life, whom i loved a lot, but they ghosted me and just it was a paused friendship. its hurts me that i still dont know the reason behind it and when i remember of them, it hurts me that we planed to stay in contact but people just changes. there are time when i have met people with whom i talked before and now they appears as people who never knew me.
Last year at this time i used to be sad and always wanted atleast a true and caring friend, am glad this year to have one person who stays in contact with me.I try to forget about the fallen friendship, as they failed coz there was difference in opinions and thoughts, but i believe stable friendship and long term friendship are based on mutual trust and acceptance,and true understanding, compassionate people will come in our life.Am grateful to have my friend, all i pray that she stays in contact always.
All is yeah i have social anxiety, and i wish to have long and deep talks rather than shallow talks. people do label me for that, but i embrace myself.
@niceDaisy36
I also think INFPs tend to live more independently because of not being able to relate with the "mainstream" when it comes to what our interests are compared with theirs. That's probably also why this big city life I'm living suits me well.
I also think it's great being on 7 Cups and being able to communicate with friends all around the world! 
@AbbyHarris1976
i really like this one
There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask What if I fall?
Oh but darling,
What if you fly?
Everytime i try to do a new thing or find new friend, i always remember about these lines. Am grateful to 7cups also for helping me communicate with people.
@aquagashapon
There is nothing wrong with wanting someone's attention. I just learned that you have to give them attention too and to be honest schedules never seem to work out for me. I always have bad timing.
When I want to chat with someone no one is usually around (not on here; i love these forums). When I am trying to work, then everyone wants to talk. Sigh.